How do you know if someone is a 'true friend'?
Do you find it easy to make friends?
There's something special about having friends you can turn to, no matter what life throws your way. But in a time when meeting new people is just one click away, how do we make genuine connections that last through the years? In the 26th episode of PhilSTAR L!fe's Generations podcast, veteran journalist Luchi Cruz-Valdes, content creators Raco Ruiz and Abi Marquez, and actor-lawyer Nico Antonio discussed the realities of building and maintaining friendships—from navigating challenges and outgrowing people to keeping relationships alive despite time and distance.
How can you consider someone a friend?
Raco reflected that while technology and social media have made it easier than ever to connect with others, young people seem to struggle more with forming meaningful friendships.
"Feeling ko, it's because everything is so available that it doesn't get valued as much... parang mas disposable siya, I think, in the minds of the youth as compared to dati," he said.
Abi echoed this sentiment, saying that “it’s kind of ironic” how you can easily add friends or even have thousands of them on social media, yet still have no one to talk to when you’re going through something difficult.
CONTINUE READING BELOW
Raco noted that young people nowadays have found ways to filter their social circles, as seen in the use of “finsta” accounts, which are typically limited to people they are close with, as well as Instagram’s Close Friends feature, which allows users to share content they are comfortable showing only to their inner circle. He pointed out, however, that some can be so selective about their social circles but still end up betraying one another.
But how do you know if you can call someone a “friend”? Nico, an Xennial, said that friendship is more about the “quality” of the relationship than how long you’ve known each other.
"You can be friends with that person as soon as you feel the vibe, the connection," he said. "Kahit hindi kayo nagkikita, hindi kayo nag-uusap palagi, when you see each other, alam niyong sanggang-dikit kayo. Hindi niyo iiwan ang isa't isa," he added, noting how he's still friends with someone from his childhood even if he is now based overseas.
Abi shared that she met her close-knit group of friends at 12 through their shared jeepney route. Despite attending different senior high schools, they’ve stayed in touch up until now.
Can you be friends with a colleague? For Nico, seeing someone as a work friend isn’t necessarily a bad thing as maintaining good relationships with colleagues is important in any workplace.
Meanwhile, Luchi said that it’s possible to be friends with colleagues at the same level, but acknowledged that building friendships can be more challenging when you’re the boss.
"Because you have to assess the work of even your friends below you. And at work, you can't be viewed as favoring someone," the veteran journalist said.
Adding to this, Abi noted that even with friends at work, it’s important to remember that the workplace is a professional setting where boundaries must be respected.
Touching on what makes someone a best friend, the group agreed that it’s someone you never get tired of spending time with, someone who feels like “home,” and someone with whom you share meaningful experiences.
"Nung panahon ko, we made a big deal of best friends," Luchi said. "You don’t call anybody your best friend."
Abi also noted that a best friend may not always agree with you, but will always have your best interests at heart.
Is it difficult to make friends nowadays?
Raco shared that he had learned about the “loneliness epidemic,” in which people find it easier to connect online but struggle to build connections in real life.
For Abi, meaningful connections stem from deep conversations. She noted that despite constant interactions on social media, people sometimes forget to reach out to friends when they are going through difficult times.
"So when a difficult conversation comes around, these so-called 'friends' can't approach them because they did not build a friendship to handle something serious," the Gen Z content creator said. "I think that's when these people are put into a position na 'I'm lonely kasi I don't have anyone to approach this feeling; I have no one.'"
Abi pointed out that making friends as an adult can be challenging, as everyone has their own schedules and responsibilities.
Raco added that many long-lasting friendships begin in childhood or adolescence, which raises the question of how those who haven’t formed such bonds can build meaningful friendships later in life.
For her part, Luchi said that lasting friendships are often built over many years, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find new friends later in life. She noted that friendships exist on different levels and acknowledged that as everyone goes through different phases, they often have less time and energy to socialize.
"Friendship, to me, is really time-tested," she said.
Apart from building friendships, there’s also the possibility of outgrowing them. As Raco and Abi said, this happens when you no longer align in terms of values, humor, and outlook on life.
The Gen Z content creator also emphasized that maintaining friendships is not always as easy as it seems, as both parties have to make time for each other.
Raco then reminded viewers that it’s okay to be selective about the people we let into our lives, as having great friends doesn’t mean you have to be friends with everyone.
At the end of it all, Luchi shared one simple reminder about friendship: “Want a friend? Be one.”
Watch the full episode below:
Follow PhilSTAR L!fe on YouTube and Spotify to catch new episodes of Generations.
WATCH: Is Gen Z too soft? (Generations Ep. 23)
September 30, 2026
WATCH: How to experience Bangkok and Kanchanaburi in one trip
October 21, 2026
WATCH: Save for retirement or enjoy life now? (Generations Ep. 21)
September 16, 2026