Inka Magnaye believes your true self will always be good enough
Being on the internet has put our bodies on display, making them subject to the scrutiny of people we may or may not know. Negative opinions about ourselves seem inevitable.
It doesn’t help that one of the earliest ways we learned how to bend truth is through social media filters. How, then, can we create a sense of self that feels true to us when we grow up incentivized to only showcase our best parts?
The Philippine STAR sat down with Inka Magnaye, a body-positivity content creator who has always been adamant that your flaws are not inherently bad. They are simply your features.
THE PHILIPPINE STAR: As a content creator, a large part of your work is showing yourself on social media. Have there been any changes to how you view your physical appearance because of this?
INKA MAGNAYE: Around my first two years (as a creator), people started commenting that I was getting fat or gaining weight, (when) it wasn’t even that big of a change. But because being on social media wasn’t something I was super used to yet, it affected how I saw my body—so much that when I was hungry, I would cry. I didn’t wanna eat because I didn’t want to get fat.
It would frustrate me so much because that was never me. I loved what my body looked like, but I hated that social media and the attention of people were changing how I viewed my own body. I hated that I was gaining weight, that people were seeing it, that I was being affected so much.
It was also the root of why I started doing body positivity content: It was a way for me to feel myself. Whenever I post things like, “It’s okay, you’re going to be fine. You’re going to be alright. I know it’s hard,” more often than not, I’m talking to myself. I know it’s impossible that I am feeling alone in this, so when I self-soothe, I put it online. I know there’s someone else out there who also needs to hear it.
Why do you think people continue to comment on the physical appearances of others?
People say it’s a Filipino thing, but I think it’s also a human thing. (There’s) a bit of narcissism because people feel like their thoughts should always be heard. Because that’s always what they say ‘di ba? “I’m just saying what I think.” They think it’s helping. Do you think you’re the only one who sees my weight? I look at myself every day. The person they’re saying that to is often the hardest on themselves. They see the most minute changes in their weight before anyone else can.
What makes social media a vehicle to view one’s physical appearance in a negative light?
Everyone posts their best moments on social media. Some people feel like a vacation went to waste if they didn’t get that one good shot of themselves. It’s all become curated.
I always make sure to use (social media) in ways that benefit how I view my body and how others view their bodies, and to give them hope. I’m always careful because I know just posting how much I weigh could be triggering to others. I know that others’ triggers are not my responsibility, but as a content creator, I know so many people follow me and I don’t want to alienate or trigger anyone. Whenever I post my progress photos, I make sure to say I am preparing for a competition, so this is not a normal, everyday body state. I state that this shape was achieved through very sustainable, very healthy means. I don’t starve myself, I still enjoy food very much, and I still have a very good relationship with my body image. People will always make assumptions especially if you don’t post about it, because their own biases will fill in the blanks.
How do we show our true selves on social media, when, as you said, it’s often curated with only our best moments?
We don’t always have to curate everything. At the end of the day, when you look back at your photos, you want to see the real moments that help you remember what actually happened. I don’t want to look back and just see photoshoot after photoshoot. Is that an accurate depiction of my life, and did it capture the real joy behind the moment?
@inkamagnaye Replying to @C a r l 0 w ♬ Beat Goes On - The All Seeing I
How can people use social media as a tool to accept or appreciate their physical appearance or features?
I was talking to my sister recently as she (experienced) negative self-talk, and I think a lot of people have that same issue. You get used to talking to yourself in the harshest way because we’re always our own worst critics. Always remember that you are the only person that you cannot escape. At the end of the day, do you want to be stuck with an abuser or your best friend?
If you’re still having a hard time with that, look at your baby photos, or photos of you as a toddler. Remember that any time you tell yourself (negative things), you are telling it to that child—that child is someone you always carry inside of you. Every time you hurt yourself, that’s who you’re hurting.