These couples prove a high school romance can go the distance
Often, a high school romance is seen in the same category as unicorns. As far as longevity is concerned, these relationships might as well be myths. When adulthood beckons, many adolescents who thought they were smitten eventually grow out of the puppy love stage, distracted by a much bigger world.
There are some couples, however, who stand the test of time. PhilSTAR L!fe spoke to two of them: one, a pair of millennial furparents, and the other, grandparents to six grandkids. Although they belong to different generations, their stories have one thing in common: They chose each other and continue to do so every day.
From classroom to cathedral
Camille Jusi and Paul Jiao, an architect and doctor, respectively, met when they were 11 and in Grade 5 at a private school in Bacolod City.
From Grade 6 to 4th year high school, they were classmates. The proximity, common interests, and overlapping circles of friends set the foundation for what was to become a lifelong relationship.
Jiao officially set things in motion when they were high school juniors. He and his barkada, all conveniently clad in Barong Tagalog because of their school's Linggo ng Wika celebration, surprised Jusi with a rendition of Parokya ni Edgar's Harana in their classroom.
It worked. They began their relationship at 16.
College took them to different universities in Manila. Jusi took up architecture at the University of the Philippines - Diliman; Jiao enrolled in pre-med at De La Salle University - Taft.
"Meeting up in college was refreshing as we got to tell each other so many new things. But because [Paul] was not very vocal nor good with describing his activities, it was mostly me who told the stories. I felt I had to make much more effort to keep in touch by asking about his classes and friends. That's why I feel I can pass the Medical Licensure Exam," Jusi told PhilSTAR L!fe.
"I made up for not sharing about my hell weeks in college by spending a lot of time with Camille even if we were cities apart. I figured I spent more time in Diliman than Taft during those years," said Jiao.
On their 10th anniversary, Jusi and Jiao got engaged. They encountered a hiccup, though, when Jusi, feeling their relationship had become stagnant, soon called off the engagement.
"I felt the hypothetical solutions to our problems were just that, and we were not working towards, or not even talking, about solving them. I felt getting married had to come when at least some of [our] issues were at least discussed," said Jusi.
To work around their issues, they bought a car, a laptop, and adopted a dog. After a year of working through their differences, they got back together. It took them another three years before starting to plan their wedding at Manila Cathedral. And then the pandemic hit.
The cathedral's main doors were shut, the air conditioners were off, and there were only four guests in attendance. Jusi and Jiao got married, anyway.
Now both 37, they are successful practitioners of their respective fields; Jusi runs her own architectural firm, Kurit Architects, and Jiao has his own medical practice. They're approaching their sixth anniversary as a wedded couple, and their 21st in a relationship, with a more evolved sense of what it means to love someone.
"We keep on falling out of love, but keep on falling in love again with the new, reinvented, improved versions of each other as we increase in wisdom," said Jiao.
The surprises keep coming, too. "Sometimes, [Paul] starts a new hobby that I did not imagine he'd be interested in," said Jusi. For Jiao, he continues to be astonished "that the smell of [their] farts can have so much variety."
Failure is not an option
Bel was 15 and Ocs was 18 when they became a couple. Almost 45 years later, the Alvarezes have raised three kids and are spoiling six grandchildren. They've never been apart since high school.
"Ocs was a champion runner. I liked the way he spent hours training after school. To me, that demonstrated determination and dedication for his passion," Bel told L!fe.
"When we started being a couple, I loved the way [Ocs] took charge of things. And the way he put me on a pedestal and treated me like a queen," she added.
For Ocs, "Bel was one of the hot girls in high school, and I told myself that we'd be together."
It was a "very short period" before they decided they would eventually get married. Although their parents put up a bit of resistance because of their young age, the teenagers didn't see what the fuss was all about.
"We decided between us that it was going to be us early on. We knew we would be together forever, but we didn’t really talk marriage until we had our first child, when we were still in our teens. And I had to turn 18 first," said Bel. "Even at that time, I didn't think we were at the wrong age. "
Ocs eventually found his way to photography and became a steady contributor to some of the country's leading print magazines in the early 2000s. A few years later, Bel discovered her talent for food styling. With their growing family, the couple put up ACME Innovatives Studios to grow their photography and video business. They have been business partners for almost four decades now.
The couple remains steadily in love.
"She's still one of the hot girls from our high school today. Bel is an excellent mother to my children. And a spoiler grandmother," said Ocs of Bel.
"I love the way he is when he is in his element in shoots, the way he thinks creatively, the way he talks to people. And the way he makes sound decisions in the biz. I love the way that I feel safe when he is around," Bel said of Ocs.
For the Alverezes, there is no secret recipe for a long-lasting relationship. They are not beyond discovering new things about each other; for example, Ocs' wide singing range and Bel's running legs. Apart from that, they just go with the flow; and for them, the flow is to stick to each other.
"Failure of the relationship is not an option. We live our days together, do things together, dream together. Life is just better when you share your days with the love of your life," said Ocs.
The magic of high school sweethearts
Experts say the emotional history distinguishes a relationship that began in adolescence from shorter-term relationships.
"Couples grow through formative years together...Witnessing each other’s vulnerabilities, insecurities, and growth can deepen emotional intimacy. There is also a unique sense of nostalgia and shared narrative that strengthens emotional bonding," psychologist Jan Patrick Magpantay told L!fe.
The carefree years also seem to be conducive to building the foundation for a strong relationship, according to psychologist Wenna Brigaste.
"Life is ‘simpler’; the usual focus is the relationship," she told L!fe. "Relationships built on friendships usually last long because of familiarity and emotional connectedness."
However, like all relationships, those begun in high school also require regular maintenance.
"Key factors include learning how to resolve conflict constructively, supporting each other’s goals, maintaining trust, and allowing space for individuality...Couples who see each other as teammates rather than rivals often build stronger foundations," said Magpantay.
Although high school-based romances may bring a risk of emotional dependence and stagnation down the road, according to Magpantay, it is possible to keep working on these relationships, as proven by the two couples.
Brigaste adds some tips for young couples hoping to see their love through: "Be open to the reality that people change—they may have new priorities, hence, may look for other things that may not be present in the relationship. [Have] open communication to talk about changes and still be able to compromise, honesty in freely expressing thoughts and feelings, and managing expectations."
