Alex Gonzaga was not able to hold back her tears as she opened up about “feeling pressured” as a content creator.
In a recent interview with her sister, host Toni on AMBS-2, the vlogger openly talked about the challenges that come with her chosen path, including the videos she needs to produce for her subscribers on a weekly basis. “Mahirap kasi, yung akin kasi, kung kailan ko lang maisip. Minsan, nagkakaroon ako ng time na nakikita ko yung sarili ko na parang nape-pressure ako: ‘Shocks, wala ako this week. Wala akong magandang naisip,’” she explained.
There are moments when she would put so much pressure on herself that she’d end up overwhelmed. It even got to a point where she had a mental breakdown because of it. “Pine-pressure ko yung sarili ko so may times na—nakikita ‘yun ng asawa ko—nagkakamental breakdown ako,” she said.
Alex confessed that she could get affected by her critics and haters at times, too. “Nape-pressure ako na, ‘Shocks, anong maganda kong gagawin?’ Kasi syempre, dahil yung vlog ko, minsan kapag may nakakapanood, meron nang mga haters din na nanonood. So feeling ko, ‘Ay, mapapangitan sila.’ So ngayon, nagkakaroon na sila ng factor.”
“May times na ‘Gusto ko ‘tong gawin pero hindi ko ‘to gagawin kasi magiging insensitive ako sa ibang tao,’” the Internet personality opened up. Toni said that her online fame comes with the need to be responsible with her content as she’s able to influence a lot of people now. “With great power comes great responsibility,” Toni quoted the popular adage in Spider-Man comic books.
Little by little, Alex is learning to find inner peace in the midst of it all. “Ngayon, ang pinag-aaralan ko sa sarili ko is if wala akong mapost na video this week because wala akong maisip, wala akong magawa, it’s okay. I have to deal with it. ‘Yun yung process ko ngayon,” she shared.
The vlogger launched her self-titled YouTube channel in July 2017. She has 13 million subscribers as of this writing.