4 life lessons from Dad
Growing up, I always looked up to my dad. If you asked me as a teenager what kind of life I wanted to have, I would mention a lot of activities my dad did when he raised me with my mom. He showed me and continues to show me what truly living and being present is like. He taught me four lessons that I bring to this day.
1. To love is to show enthusiasm in any way you can
When I was younger, I would tell my dad about the anime I watched. He didn’t really delve deep into what I was watching, but there were evenings when I would show him pictures of the characters I liked. He would arrange them in order on a Microsoft Word document and print them out for me on photo paper. I would watch as he carefully aligned the pictures in the paper cutter, with the whoosh of the cutter being a soothing rhythm. He would hand me the pictures as a way to bond with me.
As I grew older and changed my interests to Western media like the Avengers and Doctor Who, he would, without fail, remember to get me merchandise when he traveled for work. He tried his hardest to watch some episodes of shows with me, but he would either not understand or get too busy to tune in.
He may never understand why I looked at anime characters on Google or binge-watched all the Marvel movies before the release of Avengers: Infinity War, but he tried in his own way to support my interests. Sometimes love and care are shown through fragments, not in the form of loud gestures. The acknowledgement of these interests as a part of my identity showed that my dad wanted to know me not just as his daughter, but as a person.
I’m grateful for my dad for giving me a life filled with love, because he is in it.
2. Your actions can greatly impact others
My dad is an obstetrician-gynecologist who specializes in infertility. I used to visit my dad’s clinic when I got off early from school. I would sit in the white-and-beige office and admire how its walls were plastered with pictures of his patients: smiling faces of kids and parents, with messages written at the back about how my dad changed their lives forever. There were times when my parents and I would be walking around the mall, and my dad would bump into his patients, surprised at how big their kids had gotten.
My dad gets to facilitate the miracle of childbirth, of bringing lives to this world. Despite how many patients he has had over the years, he continues to show up to early-morning operations. He continues to answer calls and texts from his patients about their concerns during their pregnancy. He remembers the names of the kids he delivered, and he makes his patients feel at ease. I knew early on that I wanted to have a job that was in service to the people because my dad showed me how fulfilling it is to make others’ lives more meaningful. I may not bring new life into this world, but I wish that I could help others and support them through life in the tiniest fraction of what my dad has done.
3. You can always start again
Throughout the years, I’ve seen my dad struggle. When I was in sixth grade, my dad was paralyzed from the legs down. He fell and was sent to the emergency room. He was diagnosed with Guillain-Barré Syndrome. It took weeks, but he was able to walk again on his own two feet. In that same year, he stopped smoking in an effort to take care of himself. He saw it as a second chance at life, to appreciate everything he had. When I was in high school, he started going to a gym but stopped due to his schedule. Now that he’s in his 50s, he has chosen to go back to walking regularly and posts about it on his Instagram Story.
When I got delayed in my first year of college, he reminded me that he, too, got delayed and is now living a life he could say he was proud of. My dad has experienced many detours over the years, but what I admire about him is how he continued. I may be soft-hearted or overly critical of how my life is turning out, but I remember that my dad is living proof that I can always start over. He reminds me that I am living a life that should make me happy, that I should appreciate every chance I can to try again.
4. Make and keep as many memories as possible
I grew up with my dad always taking pictures of me. There were times when I would be annoyed at how many shots he would take. I often wondered what the point was of taking a picture of everything. But when I grew older, I looked at my dad’s Facebook profile and saw multiple albums of memories my dad thought were important. He would take pictures of the first trips we took as a family and Family Days in grade school. He also took pictures of mundane moments: dinners at new restaurants, us at home, or times when I thought nothing was of importance. But they mattered to my dad; his captions always say that it was special I could spend time with him. He wrote in one of them, “Someday (not so soon, I hope) she will decide not to tag along anymore, and start hanging out with her peers. Might as well enjoy a dinner and movie date with my Little Miss while she still allows it.”
I look back at those pictures and compare them to today. I’ve grown so much, living a busier life. My dad has grown older and wiser. He is thinner now; he looks happier, with more lines on his face. But my dad still has the same smile. We still share conversations over dinner when I have the opportunity to visit my parents on weekends.
Out of habit, or maybe out of observing him, I take pictures more often when we’re together. One day in the future, I will probably look at our pictures from recent years and think about how much we’ve changed since then. I will be thankful that my dad raised me to care enough to photograph my life. I will thank him for reminding me that there was always good in my life, that there were moments that I never knew could happen to me.
But for now, I’ll thank him for giving me a life filled with love, because he is in it. I’ll thank the universe that it gave me a dad who continues to see me as a daughter he can be proud of, even when it’s just us two sitting across from each other at the table.
