Warning: this article includes mention of suicide.
Tom Rodriguez opened up about his divorce from Carla Abellana and revealed that he had thoughts of ending his life in an interview with Ogie Diaz.
The Kapuso actor has been in the United States with his family since March 2022 for his dad's birthday and death anniversary. He ended the marriage in June but revealed that he still had love for his ex-wife.
"Of course," he told Diaz. "I think even that is a tricky thing to say kasi siyempre hindi naman nawawala 'yon agad eh. Pero as I am healing, it's transforming into something else... Siguro the love may never disappear but it will change, it will develop, it will grow on its own."
Rodriguez added that he is still in the process of moving on and that it would take time.
"It's still healing. It's on the process, hindi naman madali iyon eh. It's gonna be tricky to navigate. It's gonna take a long time but it's underway," the actor said.
Their breakup was all over the news, with speculations about a third party involved making the rounds online. Rodriguez said, however, that he did not find the need to correct these.
"I feel like there's no need... I realized na kung ano man 'yung gustong isipin ng mga tao, they will already think that about you whether it's for you or against you," he said. "So me trying to spend energy na ikorek 'yon, it will never stop kasi hanggang saan ka titigil?"
On rumors that he was gay, the Kapuso star said he didn't consider it as an insult. "If that's the worst that someone can call me, that's not an insult to me. Most of the best people I know happen to be of that persuasion and happen to be gay. Anyway, I don't mind hearing it but that's not the truth."
Rodriguez also opened up about going through mental health struggles while he's in the US.
"In recent months, ang tindi ng depression ko. Dumating ako sa point na ganun. I thought that was the only way out," he said.
The actor shared that his family saved him from ultimately taking his life. "Ayoko isipin ng mga pamangkin ko na 'Ah, Tito Tom did this, it's an escape.' Kasi sometimes it's our brain that tells us that."
"You realize it's never an answer, it's never a solution. Life goes on... A lot of times, the person we are fighting in our head might not be the person we think it is. Maybe [it's] our own shadows na sometimes, it's better to reflect in," Rodriguez said.
"Walang exempt sa buhay, there's darkness and light... If we shield ourselves from our own internal mechanisms, walang magandang mangyayari."
The actor also shared that he's set to return to the Philippines in 2023 to start acting again.
Rodriguez wed Abellana in October 2021 after six years of dating. In March of 2022, rumors of their split surfaced after the actor deactivated his Instagram account and Abellana was spotted without her wedding ring. The gossip was made official when both parties confirmed the split in June.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or facing a mental health crisis, please reach out immediately to the Department of Health's National Center for Mental Health through its landline 1553 or via mobile at 0917-899-8727 and 0966-351-4518 for Globe and TM subscribers, and 0908-639-2672 for Smart and TNT subscribers.