Gift-giving etiquette: Should you always bring a gift to a friend's party?

"Whether that's a wedding, birthday, baby shower, magdala kayo ng gift! Only in the Philippines na 'congrats' or 'happy birthday' lang ang dala ng bisita," they said.

They then shared their own rule of thumb when giving gifts. For weddings, they recommended asking for an official wish list created by the couple or giving money that is "higher than the estimated cost of your plate at the reception."

For birthdays, they advised researching what the celebrant actually wants or something they can genuinely use based on their lifestyle. They noted that it doesn't need to be expensive.

As for baby showers, they recommended asking the parents for their baby registry to make sure the gifts are practical and needed. However, the user also encouraged guests to remember that baby showers are also about celebrating the mother.

The post has since been deleted after sparking debate from other social media users, with some arguing that gift-giving should never be treated as an expectation, as not everyone has the financial means to buy presents.

Should bringing gifts be normalized?

Etiquette expert Rachelle Castaneda-Wenger told PhilSTAR L!fe that "proper etiquette will still always be in style" in this age where different cultures and generations transcend boundaries and traditional customs.

"Good manners is really all about kindness, thoughtfulness, and consideration to other people," she said.

As someone who was taught and grew up practicing that custom, Castaneda-Wenger believes that one should always bring a small token of appreciation for your host.

"Nothing extravagant, but something thoughtful and will be appreciated by the host with a handwritten note," she said.

However, she noted that this still depends on the occasion.

"If someone hosts in their home, then, yes, it is a nice touch, especially since it takes planning time and effort to entertain. But should it be a gathering of a group of friends with no one as the host or hostess, then it won't be necessary," Castaneda-Wenger explained.

"Nowadays, everyone is in a rush, everyone is busy, but if we are able to attend a gathering, that means we do have time to also show our appreciation for the effort extended by the host. Maybe, instead of saying to normalize bringing gifts, it would be more suitable to say, let us revive thoughtfulness and appreciation to people who find time to invite and host us."

Castaneda-Wenger added that gift-giving also depends on the kind of party you are planning to attend.

"If it is a dinner party or a bridal shower or baby shower, it is customary to bring a gift. It can even be a group gift. Nothing extravagant, but depending on how well one knows the person celebrating or being celebrated," she said.

What to do when you don't have a gift?

If it happens that you come to a gathering empty-handed, Castaneda-Wenger advised that you should express your gratitude to the host for inviting you instead.

You can also choose to send a small token of appreciation and a note after the party to make up for it.

"For some people, in this modern day and age, the least one can do is send a message thanking the host and appreciating the invite. To share further, I have a box in my home where I have small gifts that I can easily bring should I get invited when there's not a lot of time to indulge in shopping for a gift," Castaneda-Wenger shared.

According to her, some go-to gifts you can bring include a box of pastries, chocolates, flowers, wine, stationery, and tableware items. However, you should always be mindful of the kind of likes or personality of your host.

At the end of the day, gifting should be dependent on what you can afford with your resources. There's no need to aim for something extravagant, as gift-giving should come from a place of thoughtfulness and not a desire to impress.