How long should you wait for your date to arrive?
Dating is hard enough as it is without having to deal with someone who ruins it by being late.
It recently happened to a Threads user, who waited for an hour and a half for her date. After 30 minutes, she decided to ignore his vaguely apologetic messages and just enjoyed her food by herself.
A person being late to a date is a touchy subject that falls within the gray area of dating etiquette. Whether or not it is okay to arrive late to a date depends on multiple factors, including the reason for your tardiness and how you tell your date they'll have to wait a bit longer for you.
When it's okay to be late for a date
Is it ever okay to be late for someone to be late for a date? "For men, never," US-certified matchmaker, relationship coach, and founder of Matchmaking Manila Vanessa Antonio told PhilSTAR L!fe.
"Women on first dates are assessing reliability," she said. When a man is late for a date, he is "already answering the question, 'Is this man doing what he says he will do?'"
She gives leeway for women, however.
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"For women, it's okay [to be late] as long as you make it worth it," Antonio said.
"I've noticed that a man would rather see [a woman] arrive beautiful, relaxed, and present than stressed and disheveled because you were rushing," she added.
Etiquette expert Tracy Que holds the standard equally for both people on the date.
"I don't think it's ever ideal to be late for a date, unless there's a genuinely valid reason," she told L!fe, adding that traffic and unexpected situations can just crop up and ruin plans.
"But when you've made plans with someone, I believe there's a certain level of respect that comes with that commitment," Que continued.
Being punctual is one of the ways to show this respect, she said.
For her, how the person handles the situation does a lot to either blow up the date or make it memorable.
"If the person eventually shows up, is genuinely apologetic, and the date turns out wonderfully, why not give it another chance?" Que said.
"I believe in allowing a little room for grace. One late arrival doesn't always define a person's character, but how they handle it can tell you quite a bit," she added.
How long should you wait for your date?
For Que, a 30-minute wait is the limit, especially if the person hasn't reached out to let you know they'd be late.
"Anything beyond that, I think it's perfectly acceptable to leave," said Que.
But if your date has reached out, it could be worth your while to listen to what they have to say.
"If your date has taken the initiative to let you know they're running late, explained what's happening, sincerely apologized, and kept you updated, then perhaps a little understanding is in order," Que said.
Antonio agreed that communication is key.
"In 2026, I don't think time alone should be the basis...communication should be," she said. "If they're communicating and updating you with realistic ETAs, that's alright, provided the wait works for you."
But if there's radio silence and the person seems "flighty" to begin with, Antonio suggested not even bother to go.
"There's a difference between waiting for someone who's on the way and waiting for someone to decide whether you're worth showing up for," she said.
If they were late, but sincerely made it up to you, it might be a good idea to hold off on blocking them. Extend the same consideration if it's the first date, as it can come with a bunch of nerves, which may get in the way of punctuality.
Beyond the first date, Antonio also recommended being observant. If you or the other person is a habitual latecomer, maybe move the reservation from 8:30 to 9:00 to build a buffer.
"Ultimately, it's a personal decision," said Que. "You can choose to be gracious and wait a little longer, but you shouldn't feel obligated to wait indefinitely."
More dating tips
Antonio recommended that men "plan and pay. It doesn't have to be extravagant, but it should be intentional."
"Diskarte is attractive. 'Ikaw bahala' will work against you," she added.
And when the man extends a proper invitation and follows through, women should "receive graciously," said Antonio.
"You can run a company, pay your own bills, and still enjoy being treated. You don't have to prove your independence every time a man offers to take care of something. Say thank you. Let your appreciation show," she continued.
Once the date is on, both Antonio and Que emphasized: be present and genuinely interested in the other person. Phones should be kept in the bag or pocket. Listen, engage in conversation, and don't talk all about yourself.
"A date isn't an interview, but it shouldn't be a monologue, either. Give each other room to speak, share stories, and discover common interests," reminded Que.
"Leave room for warmth, playfulness, and attraction. Don't spend the entire evening checking qualifications while offering nothing of yourself," said Antonio.
"People will occasionally be late, conversations may become awkward, and not every date will lead to a second one. That's simply part of dating," said Que.
Real connection comes not from being on time, although that helps, but, according to Que, from "kindness, honesty, and mutual respect."
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