A Gen Z lesbian mom and his trans partner show what truly makes a family
Charisse Anne Samson, a 22-year-old lesbian, has been with his transgender partner for six years—and together, they are raising a four-year-old child.
A tomboy in his childhood years, Cha recalled not being fond of Barbie dolls that he would receive from his mom then. "Nung six years old ako, ayoko ng laruang pangbabae,” he told PhilSTAR L!fe. "'Yung Barbie na binibigay ng mother ko sa akin, kinakalbo ko siya at tinatapon ko.”
After a period of self-discovery, he realized that he identifies as a lesbian. He got into a relationship with trans woman Clain Dizon and never imagined himself as a mother.
But after two years of being together, they received a gift they didn't see coming: their child Brianna. “Hindi ko inexpect na magkakaanak ako kasi lesbian ako,” he said.
When Brianna arrived, he accepted the role of a mother with open arms. “Bilang first-time mom, ginawa ko na lang lahat para magampanan ang pagiging isang magulang, kung paano ko siya mapapanindigan para maitaguyod naming dalawa si Brianna,” he continued.
Call him 'mama'
While Cha identifies as a man, he chooses to be called “mama” by his daughter instead of “papa.” For Clain, it’s the other way around. It’s something that they both agreed on as Brianna’s parents.
"'Di ko deserve na tawaging mama kasi hindi naman ako 'yung nagdala kay Brianna ng nine months, so mas deserve niyang [Cha] matawag na 'mama'," Clain told L!fe.
Still, there are moments of confusion—like when Brianna asked why her classmates' dads look different from hers.
“Sabi ko sa kanya, 'Ganito si papa. Mahaba buhok ko, pero papa mo pa rin ako. 'Wag mong problemahin 'yung panlabas. Ang mahalaga ay mahal ka namin at inaalagaan ka namin,'" Clain recalled.
Cha reflected on what it means to be a mother, saying that it's far from easy.
"Before, sa tingin ko, 'yung mama ko, madali lang ginagawa niya, simple lang, aalagaan niya lang kami," he explained. "Nung nagkaroon ako ng anak, hindi pala talaga madali kasi 'pag nagkasakit 'yung anak mo, masestress ka kung paano mo papagalingin, ano gagawin mo. Sa sobrang hirap pala, doon ko naramdaman na kapag nagagalit 'yung mother ko, [laging] may rason kung bakit siya galit. Ang hirap pala maging magulang—hindi siya madali."
He opened up about the most challenging parts of motherhood, including post-partum depression as well as the self-doubt that came with being a first-time mom.
“Tuwing gabi, iiyak ako. Iniisip ko kung may kulang ba sa akin, kung tama ba ginagawa ko. Pero sa dulo, mahal ko anak ko. At para sa kanya, kakayanin ko.” Cha opened up.
Just how far would he go for his daughter? Cha said, “Hanggang mawalan ako ng buhay, basta mabuhay siya.”
LGBTQ+ acceptance
According to Cha, most people who know about their situation have responded not with judgment, but with admiration. “Mas natutuwa pa nga sila kasi nalaman nilang lesbian-transgender couple kami,” he shared.
But they are aware that as LGBTQ+ parents, there are social hurdles their daughter might face in the future.
"Syempre, hindi mawawalan ng challenges kasi part kami ng LGBTQ+. So ineexpect namin na in the future, si Brianna, [baka] ma-bully. So ngayon, inihahanda namin siya kung ano maging possible na nangyari," Clain said. "Ang pagpapalaki kay Brianna ay hindi madali para sa amin, so maraming adjustments na dapat gawin."
Cha never forgets about what matters: that they have love, and it's what truly defines a family.
When asked how they are preparing Brianna to accept their family setup, he said, "[Kailangan niyang] maging matalino sa lahat ng bagay, may respeto. Kumbaga kasi, kapag may respeto siya sa kapwa, babalik din 'yun sa kanya. At tsaka sa tingin ko naman, mararamdaman niya naman [naturally] na extraordinary family kami eh."
Cha hopes that Brianna would grow up keeping in mind the importance of love and acceptance of other people, no matter who they are.
"At kahit maging part siya ng LGBTQIA+ community," he added, "tatanggapin pa rin namin siya ng buong-buo. Nandito lang kami para sa kanya."
