From treatments to embracing body changes: How these men support their wives through their battle with breast cancer
When Mark Lupdag learned that his partner, TikTok content creator Janah Solleza, had breast cancer, it felt like a blow to the heart.
"Parang pinagsakloban ka ng langit at lupa," he told PhilSTAR L!fe. "Kasi kasi hindi naman 'yun 'yung life na parang ginusto ko eh, ginusto namin totally. Sino ba namang may gusto ng life na magkaroon ng may sakit? Na lumaban sa cancer?"
In 2024, the Department of Health recorded 33,079 cases of breast cancer, 17.5% of which were new cases. The agency noted that this was the most common type of cancer in the country last year.
Women with breast cancer undergo a painful series of treatments, lifestyle adjustments, and body changes, which may take a toll on their emotional and mental well-being. Behind these brave women are their loved ones providing that much-needed strength, comfort, and hope, especially when times get tough.
Doctors were able to detect Janah's breast cancer early, giving her a better chance at recovery. However, Mark still had a hard time processing her diagnosis in the beginning.
"'Yung pinakamahirap na part nandoon sa umpisa, kasi totally wala kang alam kung anong gagawin mo [o] paano mo iha-handle yung situation," he shared.
"Parang in-accept na lang namin. Although wala talaga akong ideya kung panong gagawin, nakabase na lang ako kung ano sasabihin ng doktor, anong mga dapat gawin yun."
When treatment for breast cancer starts, the body experiences disruptive side effects like hair loss, swelling, weight gain, and depression and anxiety, according to Healthline.
Edmon Caguiat, husband of cancer survivor Dr. Kristine Caguiat, witnessed his wife go through these physical and mental changes.
"Hindi siya dati ganito, 'yung parang bang masungit eh [...] Napaka sensitive niya, Mabilis siyang magtampo," he told L!fe. "So extra patience talaga." He added that his wife's diagnosis in 2022 made him overprotective of what she eats and does at work and at home.
Edmon, who has been with his wife for over two decades now, admitted that the most difficult part of their cancer journey was seeing Kristine in pain during chemotherapy.
"Ito 'yung time na na konting liwanag, masusuka talaga siya. Tapos 'yan din 'yung time na natatanggal na 'yung buhok niya, 'yung mga nails niya, talagang nangingitim. ['Yung] hindi mo alam kung tatagal o hindi, 'yun talaga," he said.
"[N]agpapaka strong ako, talagang hindi ko kinaya that time. Napaluhod na lang talaga ako, umiyak lang ako nang umiyak sa kaniya, sabi ko, 'Wag mo kong iiwan, wag muna talaga."
Apart from staying strong for his wife, Edmon also had their son who was looking to him. "There's no time sa'kin na maging weak sa harapan nila, kasi feeling ko kapag ako yung naging weak parang yung family namin magbe-breakdown na eh," he shared.
Edmon and his son became a true "team" in taking care of Kristine. To help him cope, he attended a prayer group as well.
Mark also had to become Janah's rock during her treatment journey. "Ang pinakamagagawa ko na lang is to move forward and lumaban sa mga pinagdadaanan."
Dealing with insecurities
Janah shared with L!fe that battling the disease has taken a toll on her self-image, admitting that she felt sad over losing her hair and her left breast after a mastectomy.
"Kasi sa ating mga babae, isa sa mga nakaka-boost ng confidence natin, yung magandang buhok, and syempre, importante sa ating mga babae 'yung breast. Lalo na mahilig ako sa mga suotan na fitted... Malaking effect sa akin yun," she shared.
Kristine, who works as an Emergency Medicine Specialist, echoed this, stressing the struggle of battling their own fears.
"'Yung thoughts mo, yung fears mo, 'yun ang pinakamahirap labanan...Maiisip ko na ilang nights pa kaya ang meron ako na makakatabi ko 'tong dalawang 'to," she lamented.
It's the same smile na hinahanap ko. 'Yun pa rin walang nagbago, that's the beauty of you.
To help his wife deal with the disease, Edmon did a lot of research online, including watching vlogs by breast cancer survivors.
Additionally, Edmon, who sported long hair for quite some time, shaved his head to make Kristine feel less insecure.
"'Noong maliligo din siya, hindi niya alam nakatingin ako, nakaharap siya sa salamin tapos nakikita niya 'yung buhok niya, natanggal na. Umiiyak sya," he told L!fe.
"Ang sakit sa dibdib na makita ko siya na ganun. Hindi na ako nagpatubo ng buhok...'yun 'yung parang support ko sa kaniya."
He also assured his wife that the physical changes did not make her look less beautiful in his eyes.
"'Yung insecurity niya, gusto ko alisin yun, gusto ko sabihin sa kanya, 'That's normal, you're on treatment. Normal 'yang matanggalan ka ng buhok.. 'Yung mga kuko mo umiitim, that's normal. Walang pangit dyan,'" he shared, adding that his encouragement had helped her embrace the changes in her body at the time.
"Sabi ko, noong 2001 na nakilala kita, it's the same smile na hinahanap ko. 'Yun pa rin walang nagbago, that's the beauty of you," Edmon shared. "Hindi 'yung buhok mo, hindi 'yung dibdib mo."
For his part, Mark makes sure that he's always physically and emotionally present for his partner.
"[Pinaparamdam] ko sa kaniya na nandito ko, na kasama mo, kung may problema ka, sabihin mo sa akin, kung anong hindi mo maintindihan, sasagutin na, ano, i-consult mo sa akin... Sini-secure ko na laging nasa tabi niya ako, na although minsan magkaaway kami, hindi ako 'yung kaaway niya," he said. "Ako 'yung kakampi niya na laging naka-suporta sa kaniya."
Unexpected blessings
Behind the struggles, Mark and Edmon shared that there were unexpected, meaningful moments that came from their partners' breast cancer journeys.
"Mas nakilala namin isa't-isa. Kasi dahil nga sa parang pahirap nang pahirap, parang mas lalo kami tumitibay sa pagsasama namin, sa mga nangyayari sa amin. Hindi dahil sa may anak kami. Parang dahil kasi sa problema na ito, mas nailalabas namin kung sino kami at ano kami para sa isa't isa," Mark shared, looking back at his 10-year relationship with Janah.
For his part, Edmon shared how the disease has brought his family closer, noting that it made them realize the importance of treasuring their time together.
He added that Kristine's overcoming breast cancer has helped them become instruments to inspire others battling the disease. He called this the "ultimate unexpected blessing."
Kristine is now cancer-free and is undergoing continuous hormonal therapy, with monitoring every six months.
Meanwhile, Janah hasn't been declared cancer-free yet, but she's finished her procedures and is now under monitoring. She will undergo a PET scan every six months to monitor if the treatments are working and detect any signs of recurrence.
For men with partners battling breast cancer, Mark advises facing the disease as just another challenge they have to conquer together.
"Isipin niyo na lang din lahat ng pinagdaanan niyo before as mag-asawa, isipin niyo na lang din na panibagong pagsubok lang 'yun," he added.
Edmon, meanwhile, emphasized the importance of faith and unconditional love.
"Kung mahal mo na siya dati, mas lalo pa natin silang mahalin," he said. "Mas lalo natin intindihin, mas lalo tayong maging patient sa kanila, mas alamin natin kung ano yung nararamdaman talaga nila."
He also stressed that caretakers shouldn't forget to take care of themselves, too, as the disease can also take a toll on their mental health. He noted how the experience was too painful for him that he could not recall the exact dates of her treatments at the time.
"Masyado akong naging strong na nakalimutan ko na kailangan ko rin pala ng tulong," he said. "Kailangan din kausapin mo din yung asawa mo. Feeling ko lang na mali ako sa part na 'yun na laging sinarili ko, na hindi ko shinare sa kaniya na, 'B, natatakot din ako," he added.
"Mahirap 'yung pinagdadaanan niyo lahat, 'yung proseso. Pero sa dulo ng tunnel, may liwanag."
