Why I am not making any resolutions this New Year
As soon as the clock strikes midnight, and the fireworks go off, with the first of January traditionally comes a long list of resolutions. In the past, my list would be quite firm and specific, almost like a laundry list of what to do and what not to do. Lose 10 pounds. Stop drinking so much. Exercise every day. Earn more. Shop less. Be nicer to people. Have more patience. Work harder. And on and on it went.
They were often short and succinct but, also to be honest, doomed to failure. Honestly, I often threw them out the window after a few months and I would push my progress to the next year.
I always felt that resolutions take so much energy and resolve. It’s almost like it’s a battle from the start and if you don’t keep them, you’ve failed.
Let’s break down the word “resolution,” shall we? A resolution is “a firm decision to do or not do something” or “the quality of being determined.” In legalese it's “a formal statement of opinion or decision to take an action.” While this may be seemingly positive, it reinforces this culture of control that I vehemently have been trying to relinquish.
I always felt that resolutions take so much energy and resolve. It’s almost like it’s a battle from the start and if you don’t keep them, you’ve failed. It doesn’t allow for any fluidity or curveballs and becomes extremely hard on your mental and emotional health.
This year, I am focusing on setting my intentions instead.
Your thoughts and emotions carry a powerful energetic force, one that has the capacity to truly manifest change. Intentions are what moves the universe. It’s a palpable expression of your true motives.
Oftentimes, we set goals and we don’t even know why. Why do I want to lose 10 pounds? Why do I want this job? Why do I want to be more patient? Why do I need to work harder? Ask yourself this—why do you want to achieve that goal? What’s the purpose? What’s the motivation? What’s the intent? What is really in your heart that drives you?
Honestly, I’ve spent much of my life trying to control outcomes. Here’s a very mundane and seemingly superficial example. I’ve always tried so hard to reach certain fitness and body goals, like reach a specific weight or dress size. We now know how unhealthy this is and it’s really caused so much damage to my self-esteem. Then I shifted my focus to health. I wanted to be my healthiest self! However, it was still easy to yo-yo and fall off the wagon.
It was only when I realized WHY I want to be healthy. It’s because I want to be vibrant for as long as possible to enjoy life with my children. I don’t wish to be a burden to them in any way. I really think about this as early as now. I’m very happy to care for my parents at this stage of their life, but I won’t lie, the regular scares are emotionally taxing. My heart breaks a little each time. If I can give my children more time to not worry about me or my health, then I will. I also want to be capable of doing more; to be of more service to others and this can only be achieved if we have the health and energy necessary to do so.
We can also set intentions for things beyond our reach. We can hope for a more peaceful world and this can begin with ourselves by being kinder, more compassionate, and gentler to others. Not unlike a prayer, the intent of your actions will blossom and radiate from within.
Once you set your intention, everything else will flow. It allows you to be aligned to your highest vibration and values, attracting everything that is meant for you.
This also allows you to celebrate your progress and not feel defeated because you didn’t “keep your resolutions.” And because life always throws us curveballs, sometimes our personal goals change along the way. Knowing our clear purpose grants ourselves compassion and grace when things don’t go as planned. It gives us the opportunity to always feel expansive and abundant.
In the meantime, take a moment to be still. To reflect on the year that has passed and what resides in the deep recesses of your soul. Embrace the why, ask it multiple times until it’s clear. Envision and embody your intentions. Abundance and expansion are yours to have.