Setting achievable intentions for the new year
Mental health is often an intimidating subject, but Suzy Roxas, a clinical psychologist based in Makati, has a gift for making it accessible. She has started Instagram and TikTok accounts to discuss mental health issues using simple, relatable language.
Before the start of a new year, we find ourselves reflecting on the year that has passed. We commit to being better in the new year, forming resolutions that we jot in our diaries or broadcast on our socials. Some create visuals, such as a vision board or a bingo card of smaller goals
We asked Suzy for her insights on formulating resolutions that you can stick to and achieve.
THE PHILIPPINE STAR: For one’s resolutions, should you focus on the results (like losing 20 pounds) or the feelings (like feeling energized)? Which would you recommend?
SUZY ROXAS: The strongest evidence supports that it’s neither purely results nor feelings alone; both must work hand-in-hand. Integrating emotion with action creates optimal vision board effectiveness. So, in your example, link your emotions to process steps (e.g., “taking energized daily walks to lose 20 pounds”). This ties concrete actions with inner drive. The emotional core and feel-good rush kick in, turning “losing 20 pounds” into an energized reality you crave. Pairing specifics with passion is the heart of goal-setting magic that brings real results. Choosing one or the other handicaps you.
Most people lose steam by February. What are the “non-negotiable” guidelines to ensure a New Year’s plan actually survives past the first 30 days?
Make the goal a non-negotiable outline instead of something abstract or non-specific. The outline should be action-oriented. New Year’s resolutions that are externally driven do not track well because they lack personal meaning. When a goal is internalized and personally meaningful, there is skin in the game. Build flexibility into the plan. Make it adjustable, allowing for setbacks and imperfections. Rigidity and being hard on yourself can lead to failure when predefined goals are not met.
How can an extremely busy person integrate their 2026 goals into their daily lifestyle without it feeling like another “chore” on their to-do list?
Focus on “what’s in it for me” and not what we think we should be doing. When we understand why a goal matters personally, it stops feeling like an extra task and starts fitting into how we already live our day. When we let adjustments in the plan be part of success—rather than viewing them as failure—we feel more competent. When we treat a setback as part of the process, we relieve ourselves of pressure and give ourselves permission to reset. This allows us to be decision-makers, not simply followers of a rigid plan.
Finally, keep the goals built around small, realistic actions so we can stick to them. For example, a manageable training session to build a skill over time supports this concept. Keeping to the daily goal makes you feel like you are winning. It creates a sense that “this is working” rather than “this is draining me.” When progress is visible, effort feels rewarding instead of exhausting. Designing goals to be flexible, enjoyable, and self-chosen makes them easier to return to after setbacks. That way, the goal becomes part of our lifestyle rather than another chore fighting for space on an already full to-do list.
How do you balance the drive for physical goals with the need for mental well-being and self-compassion?
Balancing gym drive with self-kindness supports inner motivation by reducing guilt. Pursuing fitness with rigid goal-chasing and no gentleness or self-compassion when you are tired erodes your well-being. Pushing yourself with a rigid, unrelenting goal can feel like punishment, even after all the hard work you have put in.
Being gentle with yourself—like adapting routines or swapping intense lifts with a gentle walk when you feel tired—is self-compassion. This reduces guilt and self-criticism. This, in turn, sustains workout habits and long-term adherence to your gym program. Instead of asking yourself, “How much should I train?” ask yourself, “How much training can I do that remains fun and does not harm my well-being?” Self-compassion and flexible standards help long-term engagement. Mental well-being sustains the discipline of the work.
What are the three most important aspects of changing your habits or lifestyle for the better?
Habits that last are formed by meaningful, thoughtful, and purpose-driven goals, not those driven externally or by a whim. Goals become “sticky” when we translate them into sensible, realistic steps that we can do easily, one day at a time. Building a new habit needs consistency, but it also needs to be fun, pleasant, and engaging. Here are three important elements for your habit-changing plan:
- Start with small behaviors that can be easily repeated. Remember to reward yourself for being consistent and when goals are achieved. This reduces feeling overwhelmed and builds confidence. Rewards make repetition more likely, and success makes you feel the goal is reachable. Consistency, not intensity, is key to change.
- Create a conducive environment and surround yourself with cheerleaders. Make the surroundings work for you; have friends give you supportive messages or remind you of your progress. When you have friends and a healthy environment, you don’t have to rely solely on willpower. Your purpose plus the environment is a key piece to achieving your goal.
- Connect your habits to a personal identity and value. You make healthy choices the default rather than the exception. Working toward your goal becomes less effortful and feels lighter and more automatic over time. Doing the hard work of change becomes more rewarding when you believe it is bringing you closer to who you want to become. You own the action of change. The motivation becomes self-driven rather than forced.
