Stress less, live more
As a lawyer, I’m quite familiar with the price that goes with the job. After all, one can only take so much fixing other people’s problems year after year. I suppose other people who work in highly stressful environments—like the police beat, hospital ERs, or even BPOs—are in the same boat of self-destruction.
The thing is, one can only take so much coffee, booze, tranquilizers, beta-blockers, and anti-depressants—if the doctor will even prescribe the meds in the first place.
In this fast-paced world, how can we de-stress?
If being cantankerous and confrontational runs in your family, you and your offspring will most likely turn out the same. Unless subjected to some experimental genetic engineering, we can’t really do much about inherited traits, so let’s move on to lifestyle and personality type.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or MBTI, according to Simply Psychology, “is a widely used personality assessment tool based on Carl Jung’s theories.” Commonly used for personal development, career counseling and team building, MBTI “categorizes individuals into one of 16 personality types, providing insights into their preferences in four dimensions: extraversion/introversion, sensing/intuition, thinking/feeling, and judging/perceiving.”
I took the test and turned out to be INTJ-A. According to the assessment, I’m a closet introvert (which I believe to be highly debatable), but it did get most things right. To be honest, it’s a bit creepy in detailing how individuals with my personality type deal with different stressors in daily life.
If my personality, just like my genes, is predetermined, that leaves just lifestyle over which I have some degree of control.
According to the 8+8+8 rule—a time management technique that optimizes productivity, health, and well-being—we should have a balanced day divided into eight hours of honest hard work, eight hours of good sleep, and eight hours of leisure activities.
Sure, I work for eight hours; not sure if it’s all honest. Five to six hours of sleep has always been good enough for me, giving me 10-11 hours for leisure. I like these numbers better. Let me share the ways I de-stress within this timeframe.
Wake up feeling grateful. Consider this: You’re alive, you have a roof over your head, and presumably, a purpose—be it work, business, or education. There’s food on the table (and in the ref), and water on tap. You’re not in some desert living like a Bedouin or arctic tundra sharing narwhal meat with an Inuit family. Thank your lucky stars you don’t have to drink your pee (like Bear Grylls), or eat yak’s eyeball or goat’s testicle (again, like Bear Grylls).
Chill. Every day might test your patience with traffic and other drivers’ questionable skills and habits. Instead of going into road rage mode while navigating through chaotic streets, just tune in to Bach, Mozart, or Chopin, or utter a prayer, not for the offensive driver to meet an accident, but in appreciation of your blessings in life. Besides sleeping (not while driving), there are many ways to relax. It can be listening to music, watching a film or series, good old-fashioned reading, singing, doing art, cleaning and organizing à la Marie Kondo, cooking or baking, gardening, or doing sports. In other words, any activity that makes you feel good can also ease your mind and loosen your shoulder muscles. Better still, get a massage.
Grow older but wiser. Aging isn’t something to dread; it’s a badge of honor with perks. Think of the discounts at stores and pharmacies. Of course, you’d save more if you didn’t need those meds in the first place, but let’s focus on the silver lining. Plus, the instant respect from younger folks who hear, “Tatanda rin kayo!” (“You’ll also get old!”), as if it’s a curse, isn’t too shabby either. Part of becoming wiser is keeping your mind sharp by doing puzzles, whether they’re crosswords, anagrams, Sudoku or other stimulating games. Des’ree’s advice to “Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time” is both literal and metaphorical. Every problem has a solution, and figuring it out is half the fun. Even playing mahjong has been recommended for seniors seeking to delay the onset of dementia.
Be curious and learn. If there’s one thing that stood out among the life lessons of Curious George, it’s that there’s an adventure around every corner. Curiosity can be an exceptional friend. Whether it’s fixing a leaking bidet or understanding how that new copier works, staying curious keeps you engaged and adds to your independence. Even driving is a skill that can be honed at any age. It’s a complete workout for the brain, requiring coordination of all senses with laser focus for a smooth, safe drive. Keep that in mind, all you cellphone-using drivers! From a broader perspective, driving also reinforces memory and understanding of geography while honing the driver’s planning skills. Learning something new can be a real game-changer. Remember those Hangeul lessons you started 10 years ago? Maybe it’s time to binge-watch Korean dramas without subtitles. Or why not pick up a new hobby? From playing a musical instrument to pottery (channel your inner Demi Moore in Ghost), or photography, painting, candle, and soap making—the options are endless. How about learning ballet like 70-year-old Shim Deok-chul (played by 79-year-old actor Park In-hwan) in Navillera?
Travel and shop. Need I say more about traveling? It’s fun, it’s educational, and it’s good for bragging on social media (a note to Gen Xers: There’s more to life than Facebook and Viber). Mostly fond memories are accumulated from traveling, especially with loved ones. Of course, it’s still a privilege that many can’t afford, but it doesn’t have to be fancy to reboot your humdrum existence. Like traveling, shopping is also not for everyone, but it should be. There’s even a catchy term for it: retail therapy. That’s what shopping is: therapeutic. Whether you’re doing it for yourself or for somebody else, shopping leads to a certain high linked to the same pleasure zone in the brain activated by drugs and sex.
Have a positive outlook. I guess if you do the math, being negative in a world filled with negativity can only lead to positivity. You’ve heard it enough: Life is too short for regrets, so love those who treat you right and forget those who don’t (though the idea of slashing their tires does have a certain dark appeal).
Communicate. In today’s connected world, there simply is no excuse for lack of human-to-human interface. Talk or text, or better yet, talk face-to-face. Family might not be your favorite conversation partners, but they’re always there, so it’s mutually beneficial to engage them, share stories, and see them regularly, just like you’d do with friends. Besides, getting off your ass and attending a reunion at the other end of town ought to shut up the health app of your nagging Apple Watch.
At the end of the day, people have different ways of coping with stress. What works for Juan may not work for anybody else. As for me, being obsessive-compulsive is oddly relaxing. I also follow what I preach.