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Kylie Padilla opens up about feeling like a 'failure' to her family: 'I wasn't the best mom and wife I could've been'

By John Patrick Magno Ranara Published Sep 20, 2023 5:21 pm Updated Sep 20, 2023 5:20 pm

Kylie Padilla got real about feeling like she wasn't able to become the best wife to her ex Aljur Abrenica and the best mom to their children Alas and Axl.

On her YouTube channel, the actress recently took the time to share her experience with postpartum depression after giving birth to her second son, saying that this was the time when her marriage with Aljur started getting rocky, which eventually led to their split.

"Nanganak ako, and then physically, I think I just shut down," Kylie said. "I started having physical reactions, like nanginginig 'yung katawan ko, from my hips down to my legs and I would feel it come up."

"I felt weak, nanghihina ako. I was really not myself. Natakot ako actually," she added.

Kylie recalled how she wasn't able to take good care of her children as she was bedridden for three to four months.

"Kapag naaalala ko 'yun, nalulungkot ako sobra kasi I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, but also, I was told to just stay in bed and rest. Nahirapan ako noon. Nahirapan akong i-process 'yung nangyayari sa'kin because I had no control of my body," she said.

"I wanted so much to be able to take care of my kids after giving birth, which is why natrauma din ako kaya ayoko na mag-baby sana. Ayoko na maramdaman ulit 'yun. I felt like a failure to my kids because hindi ko control 'yung katawan ko," she continued.

Because of this, Kylie began to feel guilty about not being able to be her best self for her family.

"Sadly, I was not able to be the best mom I could've been, the best wife I could've been," she said. "If I'm going to be super duper honest, during that time, I expected na kahit mahirap, we would survive it, but not all partners are able to love their partners when they're in the ugliest place and the worst place they've been."

Kylie recalled gaining a lot of weight and getting physically weak around that time. "I'm very sporty and I did everything, and biglang nawala 'yun sa akin. I couldn't say sorry for it kasi it wasn't my fault. It's not my fault na ganun 'yung nangyari sa akin and somehow naging issue siya."

"Naghiwalay kami ng ex ko and I was devastated. After we separated, we went through another bout of depression, but there's a blessing behind it because I feel like whatever happened was a gateway for my growth," she continued.

Kylie noted that her struggles did not only make her humble—they also fueled her desire to become an even better person for her kids.

The local star told her followers who are also going through a tough time that it's important to detach themselves from their trauma and get in touch with who they really are. "Noong ni-let go ko na 'yung galit ko, and all my rage, and all my anger, and all my shame, alam niyo kung ano ang natira? I just had this feeling of love inside myself," she explained.

Kylie announced her separation from Aljur in July 2021. The actor was immediately linked to AJ Raval as they starred in the VivaMax movie Nerisa, which premiered in the same month.

While AJ got accused of being a third party in their relationship, Kylie clarified that she had nothing to do with their  breakup.

In late February, Kylie said she and Aljur are still finalizing their annulment. She noted that they are now on good terms, and have agreed to co-parent their children.