Style Living Self Celebrity Geeky News and Views
In the Paper Shop Hello! Create with us

My partner and I agreed to engage in threesomes but I have lost my trust in him. What do I do?

By BṺM TENORIO JR., The Philippine STAR Published Jun 12, 2022 2:16 pm

Each week, PhilSTAR L!fe addresses a reader's concern about relationships, career, and anything they want to talk about through its advice column: Asking for a Friend.

Dear L!fe friend,

I'm presently in a nine-year homosexual relationship. I am 30 years old, while my partner is 35 years old. You see, my predicament is that my partner is very much promiscuous, heck with that libido. I have caught him (not in actuality) so many times (which he admitted) having one-night stands with numerous persons, but we have always come to terms with it. And to somehow manage this problem, we mutually agreed to just engage in threesome sex if in case any of us wants to have sex with other gay people.

However, when he's having out-of-town trips, I also tend to be suspicious. I love him so much and I know he loves me as well despite our sexual adventures. Are we doing the right thing with this setup and agreement? Thank you in advance. 

—Gay Lover

Dear Gay Lover, 

Risking myself to sound like a doomsayer, but there really are red flags in your relationship that need to be addressed. 

  1. You have a promiscuous partner.
  2. You’ve ventured into an open relationship by having a threesome.
  3. You have lost trust in your partner by being suspicious of his trips without you. 

Cheating is bad, ugly, unforgivable—be it in a homosexual or heterosexual relationship. If your partner has excessive drive, why can’t he use that extra urge to compliment you? Experimentation is the solution. Loyalty is key. 

And loyalty is safe—health-wise. Promiscuity is a dangerous courtship between the willy and the sexually transmitted disease. For health reasons, you may want to take it seriously to talk to your partner. 

Cheating is bad when it is done by either party, worse when admitted by the offending partner without remorse, and worst when done repetitively. Where is the love there? How much more can you tolerate it? Don’t you feel disrespected by his acts?

I personally celebrate every gay love story I hear. Though a paltry sum still dismisses gay love as a sex-centric affair, I still believe in its purity. Please don’t empower the paltry sum to believe in their claim. 

Cheating is bad when it is done by either party, worse when admitted by the offending partner without remorse, and worst when done repetitively.

Unless the red flags are addressed, I hold no reservation that your nine-year affair will collapse one day. However, I still believe in the power of love. Talk about the issues while the time still counts, while the moment still matters. 

I wish you and your partner a happy life—free from risks and trespasses. 

Your L!fe friend,

Büm

Got a problem you’re too afraid or embarrassed to share out loud? We’re here for you. E-mail us at [email protected] to get some lighthearted advice you need to hear.