Going cold to micro-cheating: People share the signs that your partner is about to break up with you
Breaking up is hard to do. Even more so when it catches you off-guard.
Even with the holiday cuffing season well upon us, it's not a guarantee that all relationships now will end in happily ever after—whatever that may mean for you.
But is there a way to actually know of a breakup before it even happens? PhilSTAR L!fe asked some of the telltale signs that a partner is about to break up with you.
Although there's no one unifying answer on why exactly someone chooses to end a relationship, there could be some signs that indicate if the end is near.
But do take note that this isn't for you to jump at every chance that your partner goes cold. After all, healthy relationships are built on trust, communication, and a whole lot of transparency.
Colder than Elsa
A number of respondents said that it boils down to a lack of attention and affection that was once brimming at the start of the relationship.
"Pagcold na sayo at hinahayaan ka na lang sa lahat," one user lamented.
"Pero ganon talaga, you have to accept the fact that people come and go. Yun nga lang ginawa kang pang character development," they added.
"Irritable na po sya sa pagmumukha nyo," another said in jest.
While it's true that we aren't completely infatuated with our partners 100% (lest we give in to love-bombing), there should be something to be said about your partner getting annoyed by the sight of you.
Wala na yung excitement, yung pagiintindi, yung love, parang nawala lahat nawalan ng value sakin yung pinagsamahan namin.
"When the person no longer spends time with you intentionally. Even though that person is not busy," one commented.
'Pag di ka na cinocompliment, no/slow reply, iniinvalidate na feelings mo, di na nagshshare sa'yo ng mga kwento or any random things, distant and cold na ang ferson and feel mo na wala na siyang desire mainvolve sa'yo mismo," another said.
Finally, it may be time for you to end the relationship when this happens, per another commentator: "A lot of excuses and lies."
What relationship enders say
At the other end of the spectrum, we talked to a number of people who chose to end their relationship, and if they themself gave any signs before pulling the plug.
"Honestly, I do actually tend to go cold," Stella* 25, shared when she ended a three-year relationship in 2021 in the middle of the pandemic.
"I didn't feel that we were growing together anymore so I simply didn't ask him questions about his day. I was no longer excited to see him during our dates. I would feel so drained by the thought of him."
While ending things with her ex, Stella said she was surprised that he was still caught off-guard despite her "warning signs."
"I guess it goes to show that you're never really ready for a relationship to end when you're on the receiving end," she said. "But it seems like he's happier now and I'm glad I didn't lovebomb him or promise him forever before we broke up."
On the other hand, some choose to end a relationship simply because they've let the abuse go for far too long, thus the reason for not chatting enthusiastically nor showing affection.
Butch*, 20, said that he found out that his partner was still texting their ex all throughout their relationship—so he decided to go as cold as the feelings he felt.
"Nung cinonfront ko siya, imbis na i-own up, explain, at mag apologize, is ginaslight pa ako," he shared.
"After that, I realized lahat ng red flags niya and lahat ng pinag gagawa niya habang kami. After nung realization na yun, nag lie low na feelings ko sa kanya. Wala na yung excitement, yung pagiintindi, yung love, parang nawala lahat nawalan ng value sakin yung pinagsamahan namin," he added.
"Siguro nasense rin niya yun kasi after 'nun halos di na ko nagchachat sakaniya and kahit magexplain siya is siniseen ko nalang and then [I ended things]. Those were my signs. Simple as that."
Just like what Butch and Stella have shared, breaking up is never a one-sided story. Although it's painful to be on the receiving end of a breakup, we should all remember that choosing to end a relationship is never as simple as turning off a switch and going cold.
We could be villains and heroes in someone else's story, after all.
*Names have been changed for privacy