Here's why women should maintain financial independence even in their marriage
In marriage, a couple commits to being each other’s support system—mentally, emotionally, and financially.
Apart from the promise of staying faithful, money is known to play a key role in one’s marriage stability. The common practice among married couples is having a joint account where both parties have equal control of the funds. While it usually works, it's undeniable that some still end up having problems, especially when one fails to uphold their financial responsibility.
So, some women are opting to stray away from the "tradwife" image and make a space for their own needs and wants, all while providing for the family.
How important is financial independence to a married woman?
Security and empowerment
Mariel Mendoza, who has been married for five years, stressed that having her own money as a housewife is not only about financial freedom, but also about her “security, confidence, and empowerment.”
“You contribute to the household. Being a financial partner in the family takes pressure off your husband. You can split expenses, help with savings, and invest in your children’s future,” she told PhilSTAR L!fe.
Mendoza added that having her own fund is her “non-negotiable” as it gives her freedom to buy anything she needs and wants without guilt.
Finance and sales coach Yel Oropesa echoed this. “It's not about being materialistic—not that there is anything wrong with it anymore—but knowing that experiences are better had as young as you can, and as much as you want,” she stressed.
More than security, Mendoza, a mommy content creator, added that it also helps her “improve [her] mental and emotional well-being" and that it keeps her “identity and self-worth.”
“Many women feel a loss of self when they stop earning. Dati, naiisip ko, ‘Workaholic naman ako noon, pero bakit hindi na ako ganun ngayon?’ It didn’t stop me. Having my own income, kahit maliit lang na side hustle, helped me maintain my confidence and sense of purpose,” she told L!fe.
For Kasie Rellorosa, who has been married for 17 years, said that having one's own money avoids “unequal footing” inside the marriage.
Financial dependence can be 'risky'
Financial advisor Sonny Boquecosa explained that having a joint account with your partner might leave you vulnerable during periods of adversity like breakups, loss, or illness. "You deserve to have control over your own finances," he emphasized.
Being financially dependent on anyone is like putting yourself in limbo, Oropesa said.
“No matter how much you trust someone else, you have to be able to trust yourself more in cases unexpected. That freedom is something you don't compromise even at the expense of trust,” she told L!fe.
Danielle Fanlo, a financial wealth planner, noted that this also "limits one's opportunities for personal growth."
"At the same time, for those who have kids, it’s best to let them see that both parents are managing their money together. This teaches them the value of independence," she continued.
These hold true for Mendoza, who noted that being financially dependent on your partner is “risky” as it could affect the whole family.
“Nangyari ito sa amin noon. He was the only one working, and then he lost his job. That was our biggest downfall. Buti na lang, may naipon kami,” she said, adding that the situation prompted her to return to work and help ease the financial burden of the family.
“That moment made me realize na kailangan ko nang bumalik sa work at tulungan ang asawa ko. Hindi puwede 'yung ganito, pati anak namin madadamay kung wala kaming source of income pareho,” she said.
Rowena Reyes-Mendoza, who has been married for 23 years, seconded this, saying that it could also affect your relationship with your husband.
“'Pag nagkulang, [nagiging] mitsa ng away. Ang hirap magbudget na wala ka naman iba-budget. Ang masama pa kung nagkasakit ang provider ng family,” she told L!fe, pointing out that it may lead to the worst-case scenario of relying solely on loans.
Financial advisor Omar delos Reyes noted that some women who are financially dependent on their partner may even experience "manipulation or financial control," which makes it harder to leave toxic situations.
"If the marriage ends, financial dependence can make it difficult to transition and rebuild a stable life," added Reyes.
How to build your fund
From a professional point of view, Oropesa noted that there is no one-size-fits-all financial planning for everyone. She recommends seeking professional help from a financial consultant or wealth professional to create a plan that suits your situation.
But she said that building an emergency fund, which you can determine by multiplying your monthly income by six, is a good starting point.
“The reason why we multiply by six is because by study, it takes an average person 3-6 months before they get back up from an emergency. This means in case of an emergency, you will still be able to afford the same lifestyle and way of living you had before the emergency,” she explained to L!fe.
For family funds, she said you may use you and your partner’s combined household income, and multiply it by six.
Oropesa also suggested "budgeting backwards," which you can do by listing your expenses, including the bills, the amount of your wants and savings needed, and then summing it all up to know what amount you should get every month.
Building that safety net is especially challenging for some, like Reyes-Mendoza who supports her children’s studies, daily needs, utility bills, rent, and maintenance medications. In situations like this, Oropesa suggested starting a side hustle.
“Find a second job or part-time hustle, or apply to a job with a higher income to be realistic with your finances," she said. "This might sound tough to do, I know. But trust me, it's even harder to always just live paycheck to paycheck. [In] this scenario, you choose your ‘hard.’"
Fanlo suggests upskilling and taking on small projects. "If you’re a housewife, perhaps engaging in income-generating projects such as a garage sale can help you set aside money for yourself. Leverage your hobbies and learn to monetize them," she said in an interview with L!fe.
She highlighted the importance of saving up no matter the amount. "Open up a bank account for an emergency fund or a long-term savings plan. Anything can happen, and it’s always best to have something to fall back on."
Boquecosa advised joining workshops about building financial skills and entrepreneurship, which will also allow you to meet people who may inspire you to get wiser with money.
Mendoza, who said that she’s always been a “raketera,” echoed this. She has been working as a virtual professional for five years and as a mommy content creator. She also owns a printing business but had to put it on hold to focus on her kids.
“Kumikita ako habang nasa bahay at inaalagaan ang mga anak ko. Sobrang grateful at masaya ako sa ganitong setup,” she told L!fe. “Hindi ko kailangang mamili sa pagiging ilaw ng tahanan o pagiging financially independent, pwede pala ‘yun pagsabayin.”
Mendoza advised fellow married women to start small. “Kahit maliit na raket o simpleng ipon, basta may ginagawa ka, malaking bagay na ‘yan. Maging proud ka sa bawat hakbang mo,” she said.
“Remember, being financially empowered means being in control of your life. And you, as a woman, deserve that power,” she concluded.
