Here are the best ways to recover from being cheated on, according to experts
Have you ever been cheated on?
Cheating is one of the worst ways to end a relationship. Not only can it ruin your trust in other people—it can also leave you with so much pain that could take a long time to heal.
Anthony Jennings has been the subject of cheating rumors after his ex-girlfriend Jam Villanueva shared alleged flirty exchanges between him and his onscreen partner Maris Racal. The supposed conversations implied that the love team had an intimate affair while Anthony was still with Jam—on top of affectionate talks and hours-long video calls, which Anthony allegedly said he had to engage in "for work."
"It took me three long months to finally accept that I was just ignoring the reality of the situation. The sleepless nights, crying, anxiety attacks, and sabotaging yourself—for those three months, I blamed myself for everything I thought, felt, and saw during that time,” Jam said in an Instagram story on Tuesday, Dec. 3. "I allowed this to happen because I thought it was the best way to support them both. Most importantly, I trust my partner and her—as a woman."
Moving on from a breakup, especially if it’s because of an unfaithful partner, is not easy. Here are the best things you can do to recover from being cheated on.
Embrace your feelings
Psychologists Wenna Brigaste and Lordy Santos a.k.a. Tito Mong Psychologist stressed the importance of feeling your feelings after being cheated on.
“Find the readiness to take time to sit with your feelings—acknowledge sadness, betrayal, anger, etc.,” Brigaste told PhilSTAR L!fe, adding that you can likewise process them by crying, screaming, or writing down your thoughts in a journal.
Santos said it can also be done by opening up to your loved ones.
“Allow yourself to feel and grieve from what happened,” he said. “This will also give you time to learn from them and from what happened, which will guide you towards your next steps.”
Remember that it’s not your fault
You may be left confused as to why your partner cheated on you, but whatever their reason, keep in mind that you are not responsible for their decisions.
“Recognize that the actions taken by your cheating partner are theirs and not yours. You need to make them responsible or accountable for it and avoid blaming yourself for what happened,” noted Santos.
Rely on your support group
The journey of moving on is a rocky process. Brigaste suggested surrounding yourself with your trusted family and friends, who can be your source of comfort during this tough time. "Find the people who can check on you and give you some much-needed support," she said.
Focus on yourself
Make it a point to love yourself amid the pain you're feeling, added Brigaste. "Focus on self-love. Take the time to de-stress and find ways to appreciate yourself more."
Santos told L!fe that distancing yourself from your cheating partner could also do wonders.
“Establishing distance in any form of communication or connection might work. Involve people that are close to you and let them know how you plan to establish a space between you and your cheating partner then ask them to respect the boundaries by not giving you any update him/her,” he said.
Seek professional help
If you think you need more support during the process, Brigaste and Santos suggested seeking professional help. “Go to therapy or counseling for regular check-ins, expression of thoughts and feelings, and sorting out the plan of actions,” Brigaste said.
It's important to take the time you need to fully heal from being cheated on, noted Santos. “Give yourself time to move on. We all have different timelines, so accept the process and the time you need to recover from it,” he said, adding, “The more you let yourself take the time you need, the easier it is for most to move forward.”
Every person's healing journey, after all, is challenging and not linear. This is why it's important to focus on one goal at a time, said Brigaste.
“It is not about forgetting, but rather fostering acceptance and the willingness to go to the next chapter of your life,” she continued.
