Groom breaks up with bride-to-be after falling in love with their wedding planner
A groom broke up with his bride-to-be and called off their wedding so he could be with the man who planned it.
In an anonymous submission to Toronto Star's Lisi Tesher, who gives relationship advice in her column, the man said while he loved his ex-fiancée so much that they had "discussed everything," "knew how many kids we wanted," and "where we wanted to live," he wasn't being true to himself.
They hired a party planner for their supposed wedding and her then-partner introduced him to the designer.
"I knew from the moment I met him that I shouldn’t be marrying my fiancée," the man said. "He and I began spending lots of time together, my wife got suspicious and we broke up before we’d spent too much money on the wedding that was never going to happen."
His ex, who "refused" to speak with him for years, eventually moved on, got married, and had children.
The man, meanwhile, said his life "got complicated," dating the designer "for a while."
"[B]ut when the novelty wore off, I recognized I didn’t really enjoy the gay party scene and still craved a quiet, family home," he said. "I stayed in my lane for years, looking for Mr. Right, but never found him."
The man said that later on, he met a widowed woman with two children. He described her as "lonely, kind, and warm."
Eventually, he got into a relationship with her, noting he "was honest with her from almost our first encounter."
"Now we’re together and life is good," he added.
But for the past two months, the man said he bumped into his ex thrice, "and each time is more awkward than the last."
"Why can’t I just be civil and friendly? Why do I freeze?" he asked Tesher, signing off with "Life's Journey."
In response, Tesher referenced the sign-off, saying life is a journey. "It’s not about labels, gender, or sexuality. Living a good life is being true to yourself, surrounding yourself with people who love you and whom you love, laughter, joy, and finding your own path."
Tesher noted that the ex found it "very upsetting" that he was "living a lie and then cheated on her with a man."
"No one likes to be dumped or cheated on. I also imagine she took solace that you left her, not because of who she is but based on her gender. It’s far less personal," she said.
The columnist noted that it was "probably very confusing" for the ex to see him years later with another woman and children, "and maybe still painful even after all these years."
"I suggest you find your inner strength and say hello," Tesher told the sender. "Cut through the small talk and say, 'I know this is probably confusing for you and I’d love the chance to tell you my story.'"
Though the ex may tell him to leave her alone, she may also be intrigued, according to Tesher.
In conclusion, Tesher told the man that not talking is "childish and immature."
