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‘Kailangan mahal mo ang sarili mo bago ka magbigay nang buo’: Jelai Andres on cheating and how she healed from her broken heart

By Hannah Mallorca Published Jan 10, 2022 1:46 pm

Actress and internet star Jelai Andres opened up about the pain of cheating, healing from a broken heart, and the struggles of having to love herself in the latest episode of Toni Talks uploaded on Sunday, Jan. 9. 

In a tell-all interview, Andres said she struggled mentally and emotionally when she discovered the multiple affairs of her husband Ex Batallion Jon Gutierrez. She previously revealed in a vlog that he had an affair with different women in 2016, 2019, and 2021.

“Para kang namatay. Lumaki akong… naniniwala na may kabutihan ‘tong tao na ‘to. Baka nagkamali lang siya. Nagbibigay ako ng chance,” she told show host Toni Gonzaga. 

“Wala na akong chance na [i-confront siya] kasi na-depress ako noong time na ‘yun. Doon na nag-start. Umiiyak ako tapos dere-derecho nang maninigas ako, nagsasara ‘yung throat ko. Hindi ako makahinga.”

Andres revealed that she reached a point where she was brought to the hospital several times due to panic attacks. 

“Marami akong paghihirap na pinagdaanan pero lagi kong nilalabanan kasi pinipilit kong buoin ang sarili ko. Bubuoin ko rin siya, while ako pala ‘yung nawawasak. Hanggang sa paulit-ulit akong nasa ER, pabalik-balik, hindi na gumagana ‘yung iniinject sa’kin,” she said.

For the 30-year-old actress, she chose to forgive Gutierrez despite her pain. She even accepted his proposal back in 2017.

“‘Yung history ng cheating, pinatawad ko siya. Nakalimutan ko na… kapag kaya mong patawarin, patawarin mo. Kapag hindi mo na kaya patawarin, huwag mo nang patawarin. Kasi ibabalik at ibabalik mo eh. So ngayon, ilalaban mo ‘yun sa sarili mo na pinatawad mo na siya,” Andres said. 

‘Naniwala ako sa kanya kasi love mo eh.’

During the episode, Gonzaga asked why Andres chose to forgive her husband despite his many affairs. She shared that she chose to forgive him out of love. 

“Naniwala ako sa kanya kasi love mo eh… kinasal kami. Kailangan kong ipaglaban kasi ako ‘yung wife, pero hindi ako nagsisi kasi nagawa ko ‘yung part ko. Kung hindi ko pinatawad, baka ngayon, meron akong pagsisisi,” Andres said. 

Andres was then asked if she ever regretted forgiving him, to which she said, “ginawa ko lahat.” 

“Ginawa ko lahat hanggang sa nasagad na. ‘Yung parang, binigay na ni Lord ‘yung sign kasi naniniwala ako na kapag gusto ni God i-let go mo ‘yung someone, pero ni-refuse mo, hahayaan niyang masaktan ka nang masaktan para wala ka nang choice kundi i-let go mo ‘yung tao,” she added.

The actress admitted there was a time where she felt “blinded” by love, but she didn’t feel “stable.” She even wanted to “fix” her husband at that time until she felt “awang-awa” with herself.

Andres revealed that she started to “wake up” when she filed for an annulment in 2021.

Despite the pain she experienced, she shared that she eventually felt “okay” after “eight months.” 

“Bigla akong nagising. Noong nag-start ako sa mga legal, parang down na down ako… mainit ang ulo mo, nasasaktan ka. Pero bigla akong gumising na parang, ‘Bakit hindi na ako galit? Ayoko nang gumanti.’ Bigla na lang, parang unti-unti siya,” she said.

Bago ka magbigay nang magbigay, mag-iwan ka para sa sarili mo. Kailangan mahal mo ang sarili mo. Huwag mo hahayaang makawawa ka.

The content creator said that her relationship experiences taught her how to love herself more. “Noong simula na naging okay ako, nag-celebrate na ako ng birthday ko. Kasi parang pinanganak ako ulit.”

“Ayoko nang magalit kasi ako ang kawawa eh… Kailangan mahal mo ang sarili mo bago ka magbigay nang buo. Bago ka magbigay nang magbigay, mag-iwan ka para sa sarili mo. Kailangan mahal mo ang sarili mo. Huwag mo hahayaang makawawa ka,” she said.  

Andres and Gutierrez confirmed their relationship in 2015, but they broke up a year later. After getting back together in 2017, the couple got married in 2018, however, they separated for good in April 2019—just a few months after their wedding.