Losing your job is hard—here's how to heal and rebuild your confidence
A job can be many things at once: a paycheck, a routine, a source of purpose, and a big part of how we see ourselves. So when that suddenly disappears, the impact can be overwhelming.
That was the case for Red Dimaandal. One day, she was living her life as a creative romance writer and editor for a US-based book publishing company, the next, she was being let go.
"I was hired as an independent contractor, so I understood from the beginning that my role could end depending on the company’s needs and circumstances. However, I did not have any indication that it was going to happen, so the news was still unexpected," she said.
Her supervisors explained that the decision was driven by factors beyond the founder's control—and while she understood the business reality, it didn't make saying goodbye any easier.
"Before that job, I had spent 13 years writing and editing for magazines and lifestyle websites, and I joined the book publishing company because I simply wanted to try something new. I didn’t expect to love writing romance novels this much," she added.
Steph Arnaldo also faced a similar predicament when she had a remote job for a Sydney-based wedding platform. After a busy start to the year, Arnaldo noticed her tasks slowing down. Her concerns soon became a reality when she got a message from the marketing manager asking if they could talk.
"She just told me that the business model is changing and they realized they don't need my editorial expertise anymore," Arnaldo said. "I kind of cried on camera a bit because it was sudden even though I had a gut feeling."
Though shocked and disheartened at first, she soon realized the layoff brought a sense of relief.
"In the months leading up to it, I felt like my job was sucking my soul and leaving me unfulfilled," Arnaldo shared. "I didn't feel like my skills as a writer were being utilized at all. I felt very undervalued."
Still, the sudden loss of income was jarring—especially while planning a wedding.
"A sudden job loss is not ideal, so I was honest about it and I cried after because of course, what am I gonna do now and all that?" she said. "The money issues were at the forefront of my worries, especially because I'm saving up for a major transition in my life in just a few months. If I knew this was happening earlier, I would've saved more."
'I lost my job' is a fact; 'I am a failure' is a judgment.
Financial worries were also top of mind for Ronnie, a former cashier for a small local food business that ultimately closed.
"Ang unang pumasok sa isip ko was kung saan ako kukuha ng panggastos after that. Medyo nakakabigla kasi sanay ka na may pumapasok na pera every payday, tapos biglang mawawala," he said.
Meanwhile, Seth Kit Calderon found himself grappling with both financial worries and the emotional weight of losing job as a multimedia designer at a big media company—his "dream" employer.
"Bata pa lang ako, sinasabi ko na sa sarili ko na sana one day makapag-work ako doon," he said. "Kaya nung nalaman kong mawawala siya, medyo magulo talaga yung isip ko. Hindi lang siya about losing a job, parang iniisip ko rin kung ano na yung next step ko after something like this happened."
Having worked toward that goal since he was young, he said losing the job felt like more than just losing a source of income.
Coping with a job loss
Losing one's source of income can turn someone's world upside down, but psychologist Frances Miranda told PhilSTAR L!fe that it's acceptable to "allow yourself to grieve and acknowledge the emotions without judging yourself for having them."
"Losing a job can feel like a personal rejection, but it is important to separate the event from your identity," she said. "You can recognize what happened and reflect on what you can learn from the experience without concluding that you are a failure as a person."
"'I lost my job' is a fact; 'I am a failure' is a judgment," she added.
She warned against making major decisions while emotions are at their peak, isolating yourself completely, or relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms just to numb the pain. "When overwhelmed, focus first on stabilization: rest, eat, maintain some routine, and reach out to people you trust."
Fellow psychologist Alexandria Blake Real similarly emphasized that feelings of rejection, failure, anger, or shame are valid. She explained that when a job is lost, what surfaces is "not just personal grief, but also systemic anxiety."
"There is personal disappointment, but there is also a socioeconomic reality—contractualization, lack of safety nets, limited opportunities outside say, NCR, or government support that often comes late. It's not just 'I failed,' it's 'I'm navigating a system that makes losing a job feel catastrophic,'" she said.
"Naming that bigger context reduces self-blame. It allows people to say, 'I'm feeling shame, and part of that shame is coming from a culture and system that equates worth with employment,'" she added.
When overwhelmed, comparison and grief can quickly escalate into physical and emotional stress.
"It translates into physiological changes, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, then psychological distress, and eventually social withdrawal," Real said. "Void the urge to isolate just because you feel hiya. Give yourself permission to pause from productivity narratives first."
Moving forward
Once the initial shock begins to settle, the next challenge is figuring out how to move forward. Miranda emphasized that confidence is rebuilt through small experiences of competence and agency. She advised taking gradual steps toward a goal—such as updating a résumé, learning something new, or reaching out to a professional network—while keeping past successes top of mind.
"Most importantly, remember that your employment status is only one part of your identity; losing a job does not mean losing your worth or your ability to succeed again," she added.
Real meanwhile highlighted the importance of taking things one at a time.
"Rebuilding doesn't start with 'apply again ASAP.' It starts with rest, and the intention to prioritize the self," she said.
Following her job loss, Dimaandal has now found the light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember that your employment status is only one part of your identity; losing a job does not mean losing your worth or your ability to succeed again.
"I try to look for the silver lining in difficult situations and see them as opportunities to explore new things and find what’s next for me," she said. "The moment I found out, my mindset was already to start looking for another job. That’s how it is—I have to accept what happened and move forward. At the same time, I may take some time to rest and recharge so that when the next opportunity comes, I’m ready for it."
Ronnie is also looking on the bright side, treating the job loss as a chance to find better opportunities.
"Nag-aapply ako ngayon sa ibang businesses and retail stores. Tinitingnan ko rin kung may mga hiring sa mga malapit na restaurants or supermarkets. Habang naghihintay, I try to help out at home and keep myself busy," he said.
Calderon is applying for jobs while freelancing, relying on support from friends and family. "Kahit 'yung simpleng pag-check nila sa akin or pag-remind na may next step pa, somehow napapagaan nila 'yung feeling ko habang nagta-transition ako," he said.
In Arnaldo's case, new freelance opportunities emerged after her retrenchment, giving her a renewed sense of confidence and freedom. "I'm happier now," said Arnaldo, who also creates content on the side. "I always believe everything happens for a reason."
She emphasized that while it's important to work hard, you shouldn't tie your entire identity to a single company. (with interviews by Cecile Baltasar)
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