The cringe factor of a humblebrag
Social media can be an effective tool for storytelling. It can be a way for you to share your experiences with a wider audience and make strong connections with people and enrich your life. While it is perfectly normal to share stories, opinions, and photos that show parts of your life and facets of your personality with the public, don't expect it to resonate with everyone. Some posts may seem innocuous to you but can bring on unexpected backlash from those who read them.
One recent example is a post by a customer who shared his negative experience at a coffee chain, alleging that one of the members of the staff acted in an unprofessional manner, which the store management rectified the situation with a voucher for free food and coffee. The initial reaction by his friends was one of praise until social media users chimed in and called him out for what they perceived as humblebragging, questioning why he needed to include his position in life, which he feels affords him and his companions a certain social status.
Fake humility
PR practitioner Ken Lerona breaks down humblebragging and how it can affect others’ impressions of you. “Humblebragging is fake humility. It is used as a tactic to point attention to one’s feigned weaknesses, only to highlight another feature of his or her personality.” For him, real humility, "where one admits and embraces weaknesses and imperfections," is more "inspiring."
He adds, “People sometimes humblebrag to highlight a certain feature of his/her personality or achievement by using self-deprecating techniques.”
Apart from drawing attention to oneself, Lerona says there is no real benefit in humblebragging, and it can even turn people off. “Humblebragging diminishes the poster’s authenticity and credibility. Social media audiences can detect it. Once they see it, read it, or watch it, they think that the poster only wants to draw attention to himself or herself instead of giving real value to them.”
Humblebragging is fake humility. It is used as a tactic to point attention to one’s feigned weaknesses, only to highlight another feature of his or her personality.
Posting for positive engagement
But what if someone just wants to share his or her achievements? Lerona weighs in. “Sharing your achievements on social media is totally okay and generally encouraged. This is to inspire others to achieve and reach milestones as much as you can. You can be a real inspiration to your audience by telling your story of struggles and successes.”
He gives these tips on how to share messages that inspire:
- When sharing, be authentic about how you feel. “In my opinion, if you want to brag about it, be clear that you are proud of your achievement – that is totally valid and okay. There is no need to self-deprecate if indeed you worked hard to reach your goals: new house, career milestone, academic achievements, title, etc.”
- Be consistent. “Make sure that you are consistent with your online image and your real self. Put down the façade. Tear down pretensions. People around you will always sense pretension and that will drive them away from you.”
- Look for inspiration. “Let’s also learn to acknowledge people’s achievements and encourage them to share their life milestones. Let’s be happy for them. Let’s encourage more authentic grateful posts on social media to even out all the negativity that we hear around us.”
Think before you post
If you feel the need to call attention to a negative experience at an establishment, Lerona advises thinking it through.
“As much as possible, don’t post. Talk to the person concerned instead. Talk to the manager or the business owner. There are channels you can use to air your grievance and businesses are willing to address them accordingly,” he said, adding that venting your frustrations on social media may hurt the reputation of the business you’re trying to hold accountable and impact the livelihood of those in service.
“Understand and tell the full context of the experience. Some may fall short of expectations because of operational limitations due to seasonal demand,” Lerona added.
Before hitting that post button for anything you want to share, he gives additional advice. “Think before you click is the cardinal rule. Be sensitive. Not everyone is within your reality. Not everyone may be as privileged as you. Don’t post anything that you are not willing to say to someone IRL.”
If you feel like you need to express yourself online, consider filtering your audience settings to reach "the right audience."
"Some posts may uncontrollably go viral and can be taken out of context. The internet is a dangerous space to be judged," he cautions. Lastly, he reminds, "Social media is a public space, don’t post anything that will jeopardize you or the people around you."