[OPINION] When we joke about sexual assault, who gets the last laugh?
When a rapist commits sexual assault, he is never acting alone. He is enabled by a world that teaches him to see women as subhuman, shames his victim into silence, and absolves—maybe even pities—him for his transgression. And rape jokes, harmless or lighthearted as they may seem, help keep it that way.
On May 7, a leaked video of BINI members Jhoanna, Colet, and Stacey with GAT’s Ethan David and dancer Shawn Castro went viral. In it, the two men simulated a sex act, and a voice off-screen said, “‘Yan ‘yung ginagawa niya kay Ashley.” While only Jhoanna was visible on camera, BINI fans speculated it was Stacey and Colet talking in the background. “13 years old,” another voice added.
It was a chilling sight for fans who believed the girl group was a herald of women empowerment. In a country that is more forgiving of rapists than rape victims, where it’s difficult to come forward and even more difficult to take a case to court, it was terrifying to see young women be complicit in rape culture. How could they participate in something that actively keeps the world unsafe for their fellow women? How could they stomach laughing at and bonding over a child’s demise?
When we joke about rape (and tolerate those who do), we downplay the severity of sexual violence. We subconsciously train ourselves, and the people around us, not to take it seriously. We contribute to a larger belief that it’s something to laugh at. It’s part of what makes sexual harassment and violence so pervasive and hard to eliminate.
Rape jokes are not equivalent to sexual assault, but it’s cut from the same cloth. They reinforce each other, operating on the same misogynistic machinery as catcalling or sending unwanted nudes.
When we don’t call out these seemingly smaller behaviors, they contribute to the normalization of violence against women. We may not realize it—because it’s “not as bad” as rape itself—but these desensitize us, making us believe there’s nothing wrong when we see women as objects to be controlled and used. In fact, it’s so normal that we can laugh about it with our friends.
A day after the video was posted, BINI posted an official statement on their group account. “Sincerely, we understand where all these feelings are coming from,” the general statement said. “The video shows a private moment of us with friends. We definitely did not intend to hurt anyone in the process.”
Saying it was “a private moment” is no valid excuse; it’s actually a more damaging admission. It reveals that who they are in the public eye does not match who they are when the curtains are drawn. It shouldn’t have mattered that it was supposedly only for their friends to hear. They shouldn’t have been joking about it. Period.
“We deeply regret our mistake and sincerely apologize to our Blooms, friends, families, and the general public,” the rest of the statement read. “We humbly ask for a chance to reflect on and learn from our mistakes and continue to work on being better versions of ourselves.”
This is a crucial tipping point for Jhoanna, Colet, and Stacey. Their repentance should not come from having been caught, but from a clear recognition that what they did was wrong.
I do think they deserve grace—after all, they came of age in the brutal world of showbiz, which is violently misogynistic in its own unique ways. But rather than prioritizing damage control, I hope the work they do is more internal: I hope they understand the gravity of their mistake and see it as a genuine opportunity to transform their values and beliefs.
Many users online speculate that this is the downfall of BINI. I hope it isn’t. The video and the conversations about it showed us just how pervasive and ingrained rape culture is. If the members take accountability, it may also show us that it’s possible to unlearn.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinions of PhilSTAR L!fe, its parent company and affiliates, or its staff.
