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Trump kinda sorta accepts loss after US congress certifies that, yup, Biden actually won

By Bim Santos Published Jan 07, 2021 9:04 pm Updated Jan 08, 2021 10:43 am

After an utterly insane and bizarre day in America where viewers monitoring chaotic scenes in the U.S. Capitol were momentarily confused whether they somehow accidentally tuned in to a Michael Bay movie, some semblance of sanity finally fell into place in the world’s bastion of democracy.

Incumbent U.S. President Donald Trump started to calm down — a bit at least — after digging in his heels so much and with such force, mightily insisting that he won the recent presidential elections despite mounting evidence to the contrary, that he almost dug a new underground tunnel all the way to the English Channel.

"Even though I totally disagree with the outcome of the election, and the facts bear me out, nevertheless there will be an orderly transition on January 20th," Trump said in a statement.

But (of course there’s always a ‘but,’ right?), Trump still intimated that he will continue his fight, whatever that is.

"I have always said we would continue our fight to ensure that only legal votes were counted. While this represents the end of the greatest first term in presidential history, it's only the beginning of our fight to Make America Great Again,” said Trump.

Trump, who has repeatedly refused to concede the election in keeping with section 3 paragraph 18 of the world-renowned Pinoy politician’s post-election playbook™, issued the statement after his extremist supporters stormed the U.S. Capitol waving placards, flags, and even in one instance, a broom. (Claims that the broom is reportedly from Baguio are unverified and should be treated as nothing but a… sweeping generalization).

The statement, by the way, was also issued through Trump’s intermediaries after his usual soapbox of choice—which is Twitter—decided it’s had enough of Trump after a long and fruitful relationship and decided to suspend his account. Facebook and Instagram followed suit and locked up Trump’s account. Poof!

The violence escalated and many super important people, like President-elect Joe Biden and even Trump’s partymates, urged the sitting president to wise up and tell his supporters to go home. 

Trump did that, well, to an extent. 

“Go home,” Trump said in a taped video statement.

But, here comes the but, he also added, “We love you. You are very special.”

We told you this was bizarre, even by the usual lens of Pinoy politics.

Eventually, law enforcers mustered enough will and motivation to finally secure the U.S. Capitol, leading lawmakers to resume their job counting the electoral votes.

After successfully warding off Republican objections, the outcome of the 2020 elections was sealed in what should have been a usually ceremonial ritual by declaring Biden’s win with 306 against 232 for Trump. Vice President Mike Pence presided over the count and declared Biden’s victory.

“To those who wreaked havoc in our Capitol today, you did not win. Violence never wins,” said Pence.

The day’s chaos, which was further marred by a reported death, was then capped by a poignant and powerful prayer from the Senate chaplain, Barry Black.

“We deplore the desecration of the United States Capitol building, the shedding of innocent blood, the loss of life, and the quagmire of dysfunction that threaten our democracy,” said Black. “We have been warned that eternal vigilance continues to be freedom’s price.”

Preach.