I accidentally became the most important person at work—and I didn't like it
Every week, PhilSTAR L!fe explores issues and topics from the perspectives of different age groups, encouraging healthy but meaningful conversations on why they matter. This is Generations by our Gen Z columnist Angel Martinez.
As someone who finds it physically impossible to stay still, I joined a qualitative research agency around this time last year just for fun. After several interviews with the owner, I quickly got looped into various projects: never the same brief twice, which I loved, encompassing industries from the government to cold chain logistics.
Soon enough, I was spearheading a major project: calling all the shots throughout each stage, from ideation to execution. I’m not sure if these were my people-pleasing tendencies surfacing, or if my manager was just adept at sweet-talking me into getting her way. But behind the scenes, I was even revamping internal systems and reviewing materials she would submit for her side jobs.
I hadn’t known it then, but I accidentally became the most important person at work, despite being a new hire that wasn’t holding down a full-time stint. This term has spread like wildfire in recent times, resonating with some employees who have unintentionally proven themselves indispensable in a corporate setting, despite the fact that all they did was teach their supervisor how to share their screen or change their password.
Despite its bad rep, I feel the term isn’t inherently evil. Career coach Elizha Corpus tells PhilSTAR L!fe that it’s natural to “want to build credibility early in our careers, thus the compulsion to always be responsive, helpful, and available.” Though we claim to be a generation that does not dream of labor, it’s human to seek validation, to know that we’re doing a good job, and to take pride in our achievements, especially if we’re in a field that we care deeply about.
Mary (not her real name), who was hired as a project manager in a boutique agency, admits to L!fe that “as an oldest daughter with control issues, I loved it when everyone depended on me. I have a knack for solving problems, organizing things, and caring for people, which are useful skills that come in handy when you’re in events and production.”
Meanwhile, as a self-confessed “type A person,” Sey treated her all-rounder stint in an F&B company with the efficiency of a well-oiled machine. “As someone in charge of marketing executions, admin, and finance tasks, I came to realize that our projects won’t move unless suppliers get paid, which was my job. From there, I developed a timed routine, writing everything in my notebook and treating it as my entire life,” she says.
However, being a reliable member of a team can quickly lead to permanent revisions in our job description. Suddenly, it feels like we’re being punished for going out of our way to help someone. I remember taking a week-long leave for my birthday last year because I refused to think about Gantt charts and client emails during my long-awaited solo trip to Korea. Yet, although I had informed my boss beforehand, she had decided to pass me the task of planning an entire event during the one week that I said was off-limits.
Former magazine editor Dwight (not his real name) was similarly bamboozled into a new set of responsibilities. After his boss resigned, he became the unofficial head of the brand: “My publisher told me they wouldn’t find a new editor-in-chief and instead would split the tasks among the remaining members. I never aspired to have that position, but ended up doing a lot of things EICs do. I inadvertently was leading the editorial direction,” he shares with L!fe.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t always come with corresponding recognition or compensation. Some higher-ups are notorious for dangling the possibility of a promotion before an eager employee’s eyes, but postponing and prolonging it for as long as they can.
Tiffany (not her real name), an accounts officer, had been performing the scope of work of someone far more senior for over a year. “Every evaluation, the boss who initially made me lead campaigns seemed to push the promotion date even though there was nothing negative she could say about my performance. She said verbally then that I was the ‘best employee’ at the time, but I started to feel resentment after I had a feeling that I was being used,” she tells L!fe.
The result is a culture that pressures us to push ourselves to our limits, with no reward on the horizon. Eroding our self-confidence is bad enough: How can we believe in ourselves when we can’t establish reasonable boundaries?
But hindrances to upward mobility, health issues, and weakened relationships due to office politics are also serious consequences that can adversely affect our quality of life. Mary’s wake-up call, for instance, was forgetting how to take care of herself “that I started seeing blood in my stool and literally thought I was dying”; Dwight’s was when “my performance started getting affected due to how burnt out and unmotivated I was.”
Is it possible, then, to continue giving our best without spreading ourselves too thin? I think so—and it starts with acknowledging that we’re burnt out in the first place. A lot of us will wait until we’re wrung dry before we think to ask for help, or admit that we can no longer take it.
But in the 14th episode of the Generations podcast with comedian and Dogshow Divas host Baus Rufo, he tells us about the importance of listening to ourselves: “Kung dati meron kang data sa sarili mo na magaling ako 'pag ganito 'yung conditions, you deprive yourself and the world of your zen, of your magic, 'pag nilalagyan mo ng ganitong barriers 'yung sarili mo.” My co-host, visual artist and content creator Raco Ruiz, also suggested his tried-and-tested method of “taking a breather for a weekend: [If it’s pagod], by Monday, I’m already better, but if it’s burnout, I just don’t wanna go back to work.”
Simply put, there needs to be a certain self-awareness: both of how we’re really responding to the added responsibility, and why we even say yes to the extra work given to us. Perhaps we’ve associated showing our best with constantly showing up, to the point of self-sacrifice. We might also be a woman stuck in a traditionally male-dominated field, where our individual wins can so easily represent the collective, or in a toxic workplace that has forced us to be fueled by spite.
Once we’ve decided to move away from “performative busyness and towards more intentional, sustainable contributions,” we’re encouraged to determine which opportunities are actually worth showing up for. “Not every task has the same value or impact. Prioritize the ones that meaningfully impact your team, your goals, and the quality of your outcomes,” Corpus suggests.
The final step to achieving peace of mind is learning how to speak up in times of discomfort: something Filipinos can be averse to, since pakikisama seeps in both personal and professional settings. “But it’s possible to keep the conversation collaborative instead of confrontational, by framing it around sustainability, priorities, and quality of work,” Corpus explains.
Something like "I want to make sure I’m focusing on the right priorities" or "Can we clarify which tasks are more urgent right now?" as opposed to a straight-up no can do the trick. But we must be prepared on the off chance that they won’t take it well. I had a falling out with my old boss, leading to the end of our engagement together: I didn’t like the passive-aggressive tone of her messages after I had put my foot down, and how she just let go of the project when I didn’t want to take it on. Most of my interviewees for this piece also ended up leaving their old employers.
But regardless of the outcome, I still suggest taking a breather and patting yourself on the back. Whether there were any ulterior motives at play or not, accidentally becoming important at work is a testament to our competence, resilience, and resourcefulness. These are traits we should be proud of, but also learn to preserve for the people and places that deserve our best.
Generations by Angel Martinez appears weekly at PhilSTAR L!fe.
