Pope Francis talks about sanctity, complexities of marriage in his last letter
In one of his last writings before his death, Pope Francis talked about the sanctity and complexities of marriage.
During his 12-year papacy, Francis, whose real name is Jorge Mario Bergoglio, was known for his progressive takes on societal issues, ranging from divorce and the LGBTQ+ community to marriage life.
This was especially evident in one of his last written works, a foreword to the short book YOUCAT Love forever—a publication from YOUCAT or the Youth Catechism of the Catholic Church—which talks about the church’s teachings about love and marriage.
Lasting love, like dancing a tango
In his last writing, Pope began by sharing his love for tango, a dance he often joined when he was young. For him, the dance is a free game between a man and a woman.
“The male and female dancers court each other and experience closeness and distance, sensuality, attention, discipline, and dignity. They rejoice in love and understand what it might mean to give themselves to someone completely,” he wrote in Italian, as translated by Isabella Corletto.
Francis made sure to reach his people, and he did so with compassion and groundedness as reflected in his preaching style—filled with metaphors, like comparing the Catholic Church to a “field hospital after a battle” to take care of the most vulnerable in society; as well as humor (if you’re chronically online, you can see a compilation of his light-hearted moments when you search “Pope Francis core” on TikTok).
He went on to mention his 2016 post-Synodal apostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love)— a book that talked about love, family, and marriage under the Catholic Church’s care and teachings.
“I am always touched to see young people who love each other and have the courage to transform their love into something great: 'I want to love you until death do us part.' What an extraordinary promise!” the Pope wrote.
He then cited the Holy Scripture from Genesis 2:24, which stated, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh,” and Mark 10:8, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
“One single body. One single home. One single life. One single family. One single love,” he wrote.
But Francis, who Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re remembered as a Pope who was “among the people with an open heart” in his funeral homily, indeed never forgot to relate to the people. He acknowledged that while marriage is meant to last, this is not the case for everyone.
“Of course, I am not blind, and neither are you. How many marriages today fail after three, five, seven years? Maybe your parents, too, began the sacrament of marriage with that same courage, but were unable to take their love to completion,” the Pope said. “Wouldn’t it be better, then, to avoid the pain, to touch each other only as though in a passing dance, to enjoy each other, play together, and then leave?”
As the leader of the church, Francis made sure to adapt to modern times in bringing the church’s doctrine to the people.
“In order to help you build a foundation for your relationship based on God’s faithful love, I have called upon the whole Church to do much more for you. We cannot continue on as before: many only see the beautiful ritual. And then, after some years, they separate. Faith is destroyed,” he says.
“Wounds are opened. There are often children who are missing a father or a mother. To me, this is like dancing tango poorly. Tango is a dance that must be learned. This is all the more true when it comes to marriage and family,” he continued, advocating for a marriage catechumenate for practical pastoral care and guidance to family life.
“Before receiving the sacrament of marriage, proper preparation is necessary. A catechumenate, I would even venture to say, because all life takes place in love, and love is not something to take lightly,” he added.
‘Believe in love, believe in God’
Francis has made significant progress in the Catholic Church. In his apostolic exhortation, he welcomed divorced and remarried Catholics to receive communion by giving more latitude to local priests and bishops, and in 2023, he decided to allow priests to bless same-sex couples. He also slammed critics at the time for being "hypocrites."
"Nobody gets scandalized if I give my blessings to a businessman who perhaps exploits people, and this is a very grave sin. But they get scandalized if I give them to a homosexual," he told Credere. "This is hypocrisy."
In his early years in the papacy, he also worked past traditions and officiated weddings for 20 couples in 2014 who had cohabited and had children before marriage as part of his goal to make the church inclusive.
Despite the challenges and complexities that come with love and married life, the pontiff reminded people to "Believe in love, believe in God, and believe that you are capable of taking on the adventure of a love that lasts a lifetime."
"Love wants to be permanent; 'until further notice' isn’t love. We humans have the desire to be accepted without reservations, and those who do not have this experience often—unknowingly—carry a wound for the rest of their lives. Instead, those who enter into a union lose nothing, but gain everything: life at its fullest," he wrote.
