How the father of a volunteer who died during Pope Francis' visit kept his faith alive
Ten years after Paul Padasas Jr. was consoled by Pope Francis over the loss of his daughter, the father now mourns the death of the pontiff who gave him the strength to push forward.
When he learned of Francis's passing on April 21, he revisited the agonizing event of losing his only child, Kristel Mae, who was a volunteer during the pope's Tacloban visit.
“Napakabait na bata, matulungin, mahilig magkawanggawa,” he describes his daughter, who worked with the Catholic Relief Service to help communities in Yolanda-hit Samar.
“Maganda trabaho nun sa BPO, almost five years na ‘yun, pero hindi siya masaya. Naghanap talaga siya ng pagkawanggawa,” he told PhilSTAR L!fe.
When Francis celebrated a mass in Tacloban, a scaffolding holding a speaker collapsed on Kristel, leading to her death on Jan. 17 at age 27.
Padasas was in his home in Taguig, watching the coverage of the papal visit, when a group of students knocked at the gate. During that moment, his phone kept ringing, but he didn’t bother answering since the call was coming from an unknown number.
“Maya-maya na, natigil tapos nag text, ‘Sir paki sagot, Kristel emergency.’ Nagulat ako tiningnan ko 'yung number niya. Ako na mismo tumawag, ‘yun nga sabi niya, nabagsakan siya [Kristel] ng scaffolding na may patong na speakers, sinusubukan i-revive, wala na talaga. Dinala sa ospital may buhay pa, kaso lang, nasa kritikal na talaga,” he recalled.
“Ayun na, nag-hysterical na ako,” he added.
The next morning, he was invited by the Pope at the Apostolic Nunciature to extend condolences. While waiting, Father Rolly Garcia asked him to listen to the radio broadcast of the papal mass at the University of Santo Tomas, where he heard Francis asking for prayers for the bereaved family.
“Binabanggit kaming tatlo, ako, si misis, at tsaka anak ko, humingi ng panalangin. Umiyak ako,” he recounted. “[Hindi ako makakain], depressed na depressed ako nung time na 'yun.”
For their meeting, Pope Francis arrived with Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle, who served as their translator.
The Pope prayed for Padasas. “Hinawakan niya ako, ewan ko kung anong kapangyarihan sa kamay niya,” he told L!fe, saying he immediately felt at peace.
“Parang ramdam ko yung kamay ko parang nakuryente...bumulong ako, [sabi ko] ‘Diyos ko po, ito na yata yung tinatawag na Holy Spirit, dumadaloy na sa katawan ko."
"Alam mo 'yung nararamdam ko noon na mabigat sa dibdib ko na hindi ko mawari dahil halu-halo na ang iniisip ko, parang gumaan bigla,” Padasas said.
He further recalled the surreal moment of being face to face with the Pope, describing him, “Maganda ang aura niya, ang amo, mabait, malumanay magsalita, napagkumbaba talaga.”
They were given rosaries and Santo Niño medallions, with one of the pairs placed in Kristel’s casket.
Holding on to faith
Losing a child is undeniably painful and overwhelming, especially with a sudden death like Kristel’s. Padasas admitted that he questioned God’s will during that time.
“Nung araw 'yon, napaano ako eh, napasigaw, ‘Bakit anak [ko]?’ tinatanong ko ang Diyos bakit siya pa?” he lamented.
Despite the agonizing loss, he still kept his faith, which eventually helped him move on.
“Sa loob ko, mali ang ginawa ko. Wala akong karapatan na kwestyunin ang Diyos kasi siya may hawak niyan eh. Siya nakakaalam,” Padasas said. “Siguro may plano ang Diyos sa kaniya (Kristel) kaya kinuha siya agad.”
“Pagkatanggap ko ng balita na ‘yun, pumasok ako sa kwarto niya, pumunta ako sa altar kinausap ko ‘yung Holy Family na statwa, sinuko ko na sa Kaniya ang anak ko,” he said, admitting, “Pero mabigat sa dibdib.”
When Kristel passed away, it became his routine to light a candle at the altar every afternoon and talk to her. He also believed that his daughter granted his three wishes, including keeping him safe during a health scare when he was alone in his house.
“Hindi ako pinabayaan ng anak ko,” he told L!fe.
Following the Pope’s death and while waiting for the next pontiff, Padasas wishes that the successor will be as kind and humble as Francis.
“Nung namatay si [Pope Francis], pumasok ako sa kwarto [ni Kristel] kinausap ko litrato niya, sabi ko, ‘Nak, wala na si Pope Francis kinuha na ni Lord, salubungin mo siya, magkikita na kayo diyan,'” he said.
“Dalawa na ang angel ko."
