Nothing wrong with recycling gifts, but…
In a couple of days it will be September, the much-anticipated first “ber” month of the year. Ready or not, the Yuletide is upon us, heralded by the ubiquitous holiday décor in shopping malls and the lure of promos and sales. Indeed, not even off-season monsoon rains can dampen everyone’s enthusiasm to start planning for the rites and rituals of Christmas, whether at home or in the workplace.
Having been in public relations practice for decades, I have always considered gift-giving as a “delightful chore.” I have fun thinking of what gift would put a smile on my recipient’s face, whether it’s a family member, a good friend, or even a colleague or client. I also enjoy conceptualizing gifts and unique holiday giveaways that would enliven corporate events and office gatherings.
In the past, it was simply second nature for me to “match” shopping finds with potential recipients: people who would happily receive such gifts for whatever occasion. So whenever I shop for myself, I automatically visualize a friend, a relative, or a co-worker receiving some of the items that catch my fancy.
But the digital age has drastically changed people’s shopping habits. Almost everyone I know swears by online shopping, making me realize that shopping in brick-and-mortar stores and checking out merchandise on the physical site don’t seem to be practical anymore.
However, I believe that the rules or guidelines for picking gifts for people you love will never change. For me, it has always been: Would you like the gift for yourself? Is it something you would want to eat, wear, or use yourself? Will it remind me of the giver in a good and positive way?
Corporate giveaways are an altogether different matter. Functional and practical become the standard so these should suit everyone on our list: umbrellas, planners, personalized gift cards and notepads, pens, tech, and gadget accessories.
But when the gift is for a specific individual and the occasion is like a birthday or a milestone anniversary, my choice will be influenced by what I know about the recipient. A certain level of familiarity will help me decide on a gift that would hopefully make them smile or remember me fondly.
Let’s take a look at some questions about gifting that may help us navigate the season of giving.
Recycling or re-gifting
Q: Is it acceptable to recycle gifts that we know would suit someone else? Should we candidly inform our recipients about it or would it be better to do it discreetly?
A: All of us have received gifts that we won’t ever get to use or even want to. These may include household décor such as art pieces, photo frames or throw pillows that do not complement the interior design or color scheme of our homes; clothes or fashion accessories that neither fit nor suit our personal styles; or even pricey—but common—gadgets or tools that will only languish in storage.
I personally think there’s nothing wrong with giving away gifts you have received as long as they are new and can definitely be used for whatever purpose they were made; they are given way before their expiration dates (for gifts with “best before” dates like vitamins and health supplements); and they are not tagged, labeled, or engraved with your name or initials on it.
One caveat: Don’t re-gift as a way of decluttering your closet or scrimping on your shopping budget. Re-gifting may still be thoughtfully done by ensuring that the item is something the recipient would be delighted to have. If you’re close to the person you have in mind, you may ask if they’d be happy to receive something you like but won’t be able to use.
You could say, for instance: “A friend gifted me with this set of exquisitely designed coffee mugs but I already have so many of them. I know you like entertaining friends at home so would you find better use for them?” In most cases, you know they will say yes and thank you.
The gift of money or saying it with cash
Q: I don’t mind scouring stores and shops for gifts. I even enjoy checking out online shopping sites for stuff I’d otherwise miss in my quest for holiday gifts. However, this year I’m thinking of cash gifts for a number of people on my list. Will they appreciate it as well as they would ripping holiday wrappings off gift boxes?
A: Cash gifts are always a good option for close family members, especially for kids who like having extra money to spend during the holiday season. It is also a welcome treat for service staff who make life easy for you. And if you happen to have someone on your gift list that you know is having financial challenges, some cash tucked into a brightly colored envelope would spell holiday cheer.
I still remember the holiday seasons of my youth when I looked forward to our Christmas family reunions during which all of us—children and grandchildren—would line up for about 12 aunts and uncles (my mother had eleven other siblings) who made it an annual ritual to hand us personally labeled envelopes with crisp, brand-new peso bills inside. At that time, cash gifts of P5 each were considered extremely generous by all of us kids. We’d excitedly collect our small envelopes after blessing the hands of our donors.
What mattered then was that each aunt or uncle would call us by name, making each of us feel important. More than the money that we had fun counting, it was their simple act of thoughtfulness and sharing that made the experience truly special.
Why am I saying this? I’d like to believe that people must show appreciation for cash gifts in whatever amount, especially when it is freely given. They must not express disappointment if what they receive does not match their expectations.
What about service personnel who expect a gift whether they deserve it or not?
I particularly find it distasteful when service people distribute envelopes expecting you to put some cash in them. Think delivery people of utility companies, banks and telcos. In the beginning, when there were only a few service providers, it made sense to remember them at Christmas, especially if you knew them personally. But in more recent times, with a number of them not quite subtly hinting at a gift, I choose to “reward” only those who really deserve it.
For those who might be tempted to ask for money instead of a wrapped gift, know that cash gifts should be freely given—never solicited. When someone close and dear to you such as your godmother, your own sibling, or a generous relative actually asks if you would prefer a monetary gift, you can simply say, “It’s up to you, Ninang/Tita/Ate. You know that I would appreciate whatever you give, thank you.”
There are likewise no rules on the amount of cash to be given. Be grateful for whatever someone can afford to give you.
Finally, gifting should always come from one’s heart. I have a friend who is frequently lavished with gifts—clothes, fashion accessories, food, signature items, and even paintings and artworks. Knowing fully well that she won’t be able to use all of them in one lifetime, she generously shares them with close friends, colleagues, and her associates in her field of work. She affirms that it always feels good to share her blessings.
And this, I strongly believe, is the reason why this friend continues to be blessed with the gifts of life, friendship, and good health.
