‘Binigay ko lahat, naubos lang ako’: Moira’s ‘Paubaya’ music video becomes refuge for broken hearts
To say that Moira Dela Torre’s music video for her song “Paubaya” took the internet by storm is an understatement. The music video currently has over 11 million videos on YouTube two days since it was released. It also remains a hot topic on local social media.
Its popularity, of course, was almost a given the moment it was released.
Moira is one of the most popular local music artists today; she was the second most-streamed artist on Spotify in 2020, for instance. And “Paubaya'' was already a popular song, having been released in 2020 as the “final chapter” of her album “Patawad.” Its lyric video on YouTube has over 30 million views to date.
“At dito nagtatapos ang kabanata ng Patawad. Sana naramdaman mo yung kalma. Yung lubag ng loob,” Moira said in a Facebook post on Sunday, Feb. 14, during the music video’s release.
“Sana lahat tayo ay lumabas na handang sumugal at magmahal muli. At maalala natin palagi na ang pag-asa ay hindi isang pantasya na binubulag tayo sa katotohanan. Dahil lahat ng bagay ay may dahilan. Hindi ka nag-iisa. Kaya ang tanging panalangin na isinisigaw ko sa hangin ay sana sa pagsalubong natin sa bagong umaga, tayo'y natutong magpatawad at humingi ng tawad; magpalaya at lumaya; at higit sa lahat, natutong ipaubaya ang lahat sa Kaniya.”
But easily, the “Paubaya” music video’s most apparent appeal is its stars. The video, which clocks in at more than 11 minutes, stars ex-couple Joshua Garcia and Julia Barretto playing fictionalized versions of themselves, a couple about to be married. But Julia walks out on Joshua on their wedding day. Later, Julia returns to the church, where Joshua stayed put.
Joshua and Julia talk about their relationship—what went wrong, what they feel for each other—before acknowledging that they aren’t meant to be together, after all. They apologize, then say goodbye to each other.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Josh. I'm sorry, napagod ako. I'm sorry, nawala ako. Natatakot ako kasi hindi kita mahanap noon. Binigay ko lahat. Binigay ko sa'yo lahat. Naubos lang ako,” Julia says in the music video.
Joshua says: “I’m sorry nasaktan kita. Sorry kung wala ako nung mga panahong kailangan mo ako. Sorry kung wala ako nung kailangan mo ng makakapitan. Sorry kung hindi kita naprotektahan. Hindi man lang kita naprotektahan. Natakot ako. Sobra. Pero gusto ko nandun ako. Gusto ko nandun ako nung nasasaktan ka. Pero wala. Siguro dahil alam ko na rin na—Na hindi talaga tayo para sa isa't isa.”
That Joshua and Julia starred in the music video resonated with its several million viewers, as it blurs the line between fiction and reality. Joshua and Julia were in a relationship for a couple of years before breaking up in 2019. With Julia and Joshua recredited as dialogue script writers of the music video, fans wonder if—or, perhaps, hope that— their dialogue on the video constitutes as “closure” to their relationship.
Interestingly, perhaps what gives the “Paubaya” music video additional boost in views and popularity is how its comments section has become a gathering of sorts for people who want to share and discuss their love lives and heartbreaks to other YouTube users. Of course, the comments section of a YouTube video as a makeshift forum or community isn’t new. But with over 110,000 comments in just two days, it is a sight to behold, a proof that we’re enamored with hugot as we are with kilig. Some of the comments on the video have even gone viral on other social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter.
Watching Paubaya MV: 11 minutes
— boredshit (@yowwhutsgud) February 15, 2021
Scrolling through comments: 1 hour
Hahahaha
instead of doing my module, here i am reading comments on paubaya's music video
— ; (@its_emmaaan) February 15, 2021
Of course, many viewers went to the comments section to share their own "hugot" reflections and takeaways from the video.
“Maybe, "forever" was a word meant for memories and not people.” one user said.
Another one said, “Forgiveness is always a better choice. It is not easy to forgive, but life without forgiveness is not easy to live. Forgiveness is choosing to move beyond bitterness to become much better. Choose forgiveness, choose a better life.”
The most interesting comments, of course, are the ones that shared personal details about their lives. “Yung araw na nirelease ito, yun din ang araw na hiniwalayan ako ng jowa ko,” a viewer said. “Hindi ko alam paano ko tatanggapin pero nangyari na. Kung mabasa mo man ito, nais kong humingi ng patawad sa lahat ng nagawa ko sayo. bigyan mo ako ng isa pang chance, one last chance para itama lahat ng pagkakamali ko. Miss na miss na kita.”
“When Julia said ‘Binigay ko sayo lahat naubos lang ako’ I felt that,” another viewer said. “From the very beginning of the relationship binuhos ko lahat ng pagmamahal ko kasi akala ko siya na yung endgame ko. Di ko inakala magigising nalang ako isang araw wala na akong mabibigay pa, hindi ko na maramdaman yung pagmamahal. Naisip ko nagsstay nalang ako kasi nakasanayan ko na pero inisip ko baka bukas o sa susunod na mga araw babalik din sa dati pero mas lalo lang ako lumayo, siguro may kasalanan din ako at aminado ako jan.”
She added, “I felt sorry but I don't regret leaving kasi sigurado naman akong masaya ako at maayos siya. Life goes on, time heal all wounds.”
There are those, of course, who went to analyze Joshua and Julia’s dialogue on the music video, as if they were actually uttered in real life.
“There could be a lot of reasons para masabi ni Julia na napagod siya, naubos siya at nawala siya. She could be waiting for something na di nia nakuha in return,” a YouTube user said.
On Monday, Feb. 15, Moira took to Facebook to thank those who watched and supported the “Paubaya” music video.
“Grabe kayo. Salamat sa lahat ng pagmamahal,” she said. At saludo kami sa lahat ng nagpatawad, nagpalaya at nagpaubaya. Mahal na mahal namin kayo. Di ka nag-iisa.”
Banner photo from Moira Dela Torre's YouTube channel