Dani Barretto on 'utang na loob' culture among families: 'Giving back should be voluntary, not obligatory'
Dani Barretto is discouraging the toxic "utang na loob" culture among Filipinos where children are obligated to give back to their parents for raising them.
On her Bare It All podcast episode titled "The Difference Between Utang na Loob and Giving Back" which was posted on Spotify, the eldest daughter of Marjorie Barretto elaborated her thoughts on the subject that she believes should no longer be observed.
"Hindi ka pwedeng magkaroon ng utang na loob sa isang bagay na dapat nilang gawin para sa’yo. The other things maybe, like maybe they sacrificed this to be able to give you this life—I get na utang na loob na fact ‘yon," Dani said.
She continued, "But there are some people that use that against people. Parang 'Pinaaral kita, pinaganito kita, so dapat ito 'yung binibigay mo sa'kin."
According to her, being a parent means caring and providing for your child regardless of whether they'll support you when they're older.
"You're my parent, you're supposed to do that. Ako, I’m a mom now. I can say that. I’m required to give my kid the life that she deserves right now until she’s able to do it on her own," Dani said.
"Let’s say, when she has her own family, I can’t require my kid na 'Kailangan mo akong bigyan ng allowance kasi pinaaral kita.' At one point, you have to fly," she added.
The celebrity mom also agreed with the statement that the child "did not ask to be born" and that it was the parents' decision to have them in their lives.
@bareitallpodcast Let’s stop this toxic culture 😫 #fyp #pinoypodcast #podcast #familyproblems #parentissues #lifeadvice #lifelessons ♬ Late Night Melancholy - Rude Boy
Dani shared this part of the discussion on her podcast's TikTok page, which drew mixed reactions from social media users.
"Giving back should be voluntary, not obligatory. More people should be as open as the content of this podcast. I agree [with] this," one commenter wrote.
Others meanwhile argued, "No hate po. Depende po kasi yan, like some of us, lumaki sa hirap, and we saw the struggles of our parents, para lang mapag-aral and mabigyan ng mga gusto namin. Kaya gusto rin namin mag give back sa kanila."
Because of the varied responses, Dani published a follow-up TikTok video clarifying her statements.
"I never said na huwag kayong mag-give back sa pamilya niyo, na huwag niyong susuportahan 'yung pamilya niyo, or huwag kayong maging mabuting anak... I never said that," Dani said.
"Ang opinion ko po is giving back should be voluntary, not obligatory. 'Yun lang po ang opinion ko," she continued. "Because mayroon pa rin pong toxic Filipino culture dito sa ating bansa na inoobliga o nire-require nila ‘yung mga anak nila suportahan sila, buhayin sila dahil sinusumbat nila sa mga anak nila na pinaaral sila, pinakain sila, they put a roof over their heads."
She believes it to be "unfair" for parents to resort to this scolding as their children have their own lives and families to support when they grow older.
"You wanna give back out of love, hindi dahil sinumbat nila sa’yo lahat 'yung buong childhood mo or 'yung buong pagkatao mo kaya mo sila binibigyan ng ganun. Kaya mo sila sinusuportahan," Dani said.
She stressed that she has nothing against those who support their families, saying, "I respect you, I respect your hustle, I respect your hard work and the way you take care of your parents."
@bareitallpodcast Just to clarify some things regarding the previous video about utang na loob. This is just my opinion, kung hindi man tayo pareho ng pananaw, nirerespeto ko po yun. 🙏🏻
♬ original sound - Bare It All Podcast
Dani is a mom to her four-year-old daughter Camilla Marguerite, also known as Millie.