Signs that your partner is serious about you, according to long-married spouses
Romance in its first steps often starts with grand gestures and sweeping declarations of love. But for couples who have been married for decades, the true signs of lasting commitment are often symbolized by quiet acts of care that prove meaningful with time.
In celebration of the love month, PhilSTAR L!fe spoke with husbands and wives who have spent years growing alongside their spouses and weathering life’s uncertainties to find out the exact moment they realized that their partner was serious about them.
For these couples, these simple signs were the clearest proof that what they had was going to lead to forever.
They make an effort to see you
Queer content creator Mack Fernandez-Williams realized that his husband Jeff, who he met on a gay dating website, was serious about him when he traveled all the way from the US to the Philippines just to see him.
His gut feeling turned out to be correct, as they have since built a happy family with two children and are now set to celebrate their 11th wedding anniversary this March.
“We met on a gay dating site, and like many users there, Jeff didn’t have any photos in his profile. I thought it was just another fake profile, so I kept on ignoring him. And I guess he noticed it, so he sent photos of him,” Mack recalled.
After exchanging a few chats, they eventually decided to move to Skype and continue talking there.
“Despite the time difference, we were able to talk to each other almost 24/7. It felt like we already knew each other for a long time. In just a month of talking, he decided to book a flight to come visit me here in the Philippines, which was a big step towards our relationship,” he shared.
“I never expected someone from the other side of the world would come see me. Might be cliché, but it was at that moment that I realized how serious he is to me,” he added.
Marlee Williams, a Filipina who similarly found love online with her American husband Liam, shared the same sentiments. She knew things were real when her partner traveled four times in a year to see her while they were still dating.
“During this period, he was willing to meet my family and had asked permission from my parents for marriage. This is how I realized that he is serious about having a relationship with me,” she said.
“The fact that he spent a lot of time and effort—not to mention invested financially for all the travel expenses just to be with me—there’s no reason to doubt his intentions towards me. Now we are blessed to still be together; in love for 20 years and counting,” she continued.
They embrace your faults
JB Silvano knew that his wife of 24 years, ER, was truly committed when she accepted all of him, including his flaws.
“I realized she was serious about me when she welcomed me into her world—introducing me to her family and embracing every part of who I am, even the things I struggle with,” he said.
“She believed in me and supported me wholeheartedly, especially in moments when I doubted myself. Her trust in me made me stronger and showed me how real her love truly is,” he continued.
They're willing to adjust and understand
A lot of the time, love comes with sacrifices and compromises that are a little hard to come to terms with. But the right partner will always try to meet you halfway if they really want to be with you.
That’s what made Evelyn Gomez realize that her husband Ismael was the one, and this March, they're marking their 34th anniversary.
Recalling the early days of their relationship, Evelyn shared that her now-husband was competing with another suitor to win her heart.
“Dalawa ang nanliligaw sa akin noon. Cinompare ko sila, pero ang priority ko ay ang mother ko. Tinanong ko ‘yung una, na kung magiging kami man, gusto ko na kasama ko ‘yung mother ko, pero ayaw niya. Pero si Mel, tinanong ko rin siya, ang sabi niya walang problema sa kanya. Marunong daw siya makisama,” she said.
“Sinabi ko kay Mel, hindi ako sanay magluto, maglaba, at ang sagot niya, siya naman daw ‘yung marunong so siya ‘yung mag-adjust. Noong pumunta ako ng abroad, palagi akong nakakatanggap ng sulat sa kanya,” she added.
They make plans for a future with you
One of the tell-tale signs of your partner’s commitment is when they begin to imagine a shared future with you through concrete plans and decisions made together.
This was what made Mabel Ines Dice realize that her late husband Noli, whom she was married to for 35 years until his passing in 2016, was truly serious about their relationship.
“When he started to visit me in my house, [he] included me in his future plans, introduced me to his parents and relatives, and was always there when I needed a helping hand, [I knew that his intentions were sincere],” she said.
Searching for the right partner
As the saying goes, “love works in mysterious ways,” and in the end, no one can truly predict how a love story will unfold. However, a little advice on what to look for in the right partner can still make all the difference when navigating the uncertainties of romance.
Mack emphasized that while everyone is different, it’s still “very important to find someone that shares the same values, goals, and aspirations in life.”
“We all know life is not perfect, just like our partner, but if you two learn how to have an open communication, things will just be fine. Try to give and take,” Mabel echoed.
More often than not, people prioritize looks when looking for love, but Marlee discouraged this.
“Go for maturity, loyalty, stability, and peace,” she advised.
Evelyn shared the same sentiment, adding that it’s also important to look for someone who values family.
“Unang dapat mahalin ang pamilya. Hindi lang dapat ikaw ang mahal niya, buong pamilya mo rin. Kung looks man, wala na dapat pakialam. Dapat kaya kang buhayin, mabait, at marunong makisama,” she said.
JB, meanwhile, said to choose someone who “respects you deeply, stands by you with patience, and grows with you through every flaw and challenge.”
“The right partner is someone who believes in you even when you don’t, supports your dreams, and loves you not only at your best—but also in your weakest and most uncertain moments,” he highlighted.