Are they truly sorry? Here are signs your partner is genuinely trying to rebuild trust after cheating on you

Giving your cheating partner a second chance

Psychologist Wenna Brigaste told PhilSTAR L!fe that when people get cheated on in their relationship, they could develop unhealthy thoughts that damage their self-esteem and self-worth. They may also find it difficult to trust again because of the "deep feeling of betrayal."

Others may experience feelings of anger and resentment, while some may become more anxious and hypervigilant in their relationships. This can manifest as overthinking, constantly worrying that the betrayal could happen again, having trouble sleeping, or experiencing flashbacks of what happened.

Despite these negative impacts, there are still some who let their cheating partner stay or welcome their ex back into their lives.

According to Brigaste, the reason for this is because they believe in the concept of "giving another chance and starting over again," adding that they "tend to depend on the hope that things can become better."

"When a person still feels attached to a person, it might be 'easy' to consider getting back with the person 'for the sake of love.' Among married people, it's for the sake of the family or children," she said.

"If people see that they have invested a lot of time, emotion, effort, money, and love in a person, they'll think it's worth giving another try," she added.

Another reason is due to the "fear of loss and becoming lonely," with some choosing to restart with their cheating partner as they don't want to "face the reality that it did not work out."

Relationship expert Mezhal Ulao asserted that "staying isn’t weakness."

"Choosing to stay and work through betrayal takes an incredible amount of emotional courage and labor. It’s just as valid a path as leaving, provided both people are doing the heavy lifting," he told L!fe.

"Forgiveness is separate from staying. You can forgive someone to free yourself from bitterness without letting them stay in your life—just as you can choose to stay while still working through forgiveness," he added.

How to know if they're genuine?

There are cheating partners who end up striving to make amends and rebuild what was broken. But how do you know if someone is genuinely trying to rebuild trust after cheating?

Ulao highlighted that one of the first things you should observe is whether they are displaying a "total open-book energy." This means that there is "no shady behavior with their phone, no hiding where they’re going, and zero defensiveness when you ask questions."

Your partner must also "accept full responsibility for their choice to cheat" and not defend their actions by gaslighting you.

Another sign is if they are patient with you on your bad days. "Healing isn’t a straight line. When you get triggered or need to talk about it again, they don’t snap or tell you to move on," Ulao said. "They change their actions, not just their words. They actually cut off the person, change toxic routines, or get into therapy to fix their own issues."

You should also see if your partner cares more about your pain than their guilt, as this shows that they "aren’t just wallowing in feeling like a bad person and that they’re genuinely focused on helping you feel safe again."

For Brigaste, another sign that you should consider is if they are "trying to be consistent in words and actions" and if they are "listening and accepting your feelings and trauma."

Ulao shared the same sentiments in that "consistency beats grand gestures."

"Apology flowers and big promises are easy. The real work is showing up reliably in small, boring ways every single day over months or years," he told L!fe.