An encounter with the late Iris Apfel, the world's oldest teenager
For me, Iris Apfel is the ultimate fashion icon. Or, should I say, was. Sadly, the “geriatric starlet,” a label she herself used in her bestselling book Accidental Icon, passed away last March 1 at her Palm Peach, Florida home. She was 102 years old.
Anyone remotely interested in fashion adores Iris Apfel, or at the very least, recognizes her for her signature oversized glasses, maximalist fashion aesthetic, and trademark gray coif. It’s simply impossible not to be charmed by her whimsical ensembles, quick wit, and playful flair. She once said, “I see myself as the world’s oldest living teenager.”
Although quite known in exclusive design and fashion circles since the ’60s, global fashion stardom didn’t quite happen until she was well into her 80s. Then, she wittily dubbed herself at the time as fashion’s only “octogenarian sensation.”
Who would have thought that this breakthrough was even remotely possible in such an unforgiving industry obsessed with youth and other similar stereotypes? The fact this happened to her way past a woman’s supposed prime catapulted Apfel to unimaginable heights and stretched the definition of what it meant to be stylish in an era preoccupied by everything anti-aging.
If there was any one celebrity I really wanted to meet and encounter, it was her. So when the opportunity came through Filipino jewelry designer Ann Ong, whose works Apfel regularly donned, I could hardly contain my giddiness and anticipation.
Together with Ann, I arrived at her Park Avenue apartment way too early—much earlier than our scheduled appointment. Excited much? In the balcony area where we were led to wait, I was already imagining peeping into her closet, hugging her tightly, and fangirling in a manner totally inappropriate for both my age and stature. “Dial it down,” I kept reminding myself. So, there, amid her porcelain decorative birds and animals overlooking the buzzling Manhattan cityscape, I tried to calm my spewing excitement.
There’s nothing wrong with wrinkles. When you’re older, trying to look years younger is foolish, and you’re not fooling anyone. When you’re 75 and you get a facelift, nobody is going to think you are 30.
As we rang the bell, we didn’t expect Iris to open the door herself. She welcomed us warmly, clad in a white robe, which she always wore when at home, according to her assistant. She graciously led us to her receiving area and offered refreshments. She told us to look around first while she was finishing something.
The décor of her home reveals the same charm and exquisite taste seen in her fashion. She hung some of her favorite necklaces in one area interspersed with porcelain animal figurines in varying sizes, stuffed dolls, antiques, books, fresh flowers, and countless photos of her and her husband, the late businessman Carl Apfel.
Her home was very eclectic yet very put together, very happy and full of colors… just like how she looked. As we walked around, we accidentally opened a door that led to her dressing room. Much as we wanted to step in to have a quick look, it was just impossible. The room was too packed with clothes, leaving no visible path to even step on. She later told us she was getting ready to head over soon to her Miami home, which had a bigger dressing room and implied it was just as full.
When we sat together around her working table, she said she couldn’t talk much because she was feeling under the weather. But upon seeing the accessories Ann brought, her eyes lit up and she happily remarked, “Oh, I love these big pieces. Nothing understated for me, please.” Despite her ill health, she went on to talk passionately about fashion, music, and things that creatively inspire her. She talked about aging, attitude, and her penchant for everything Asian. She talked about her gratitude for her enduring life and how having wonderful friends has made her so happy.
Asked then about the first thing she does when she wakes up every day, she laughed, “I thank God I woke up.”
She may have passed, yet my admiration and fascination continue. That day I met her forever affirmed my concept of living and aging.
All about Iris
Regarded for her impeccable taste, Apfel traveled exhaustively in search of the perfect patterns and pieces. And if she didn’t find what she was looking for, she designed them herself. Her penchant for beautiful things naturally paved the way for a love affair with collecting fashion and accessories. Throughout the years, and with a husband who supported her love for fashion, she amassed a stellar collection described to be unmatched in America.
After marrying businessman Carl Apfel in 1948, the couple launched textile firm Old World Weavers, and ran the company until 1992, when Stark Carpet made them an offer impossible to refuse. While at the helm of Old World Weavers, Apfel had worked with the who’s who of American society, including Estee Lauder, Greta Garbo, and Montgomery Clift; not to mention doing restoration projects at the White House for nine presidents, from Truman all the way to Clinton.
Later in her life, Apfel did countless exhibitions and collaborated with brands like MAC, Swarovski, Kate Spade, Coach, Tag Heuer, and Bergdorf Goodman, just to name a few. She also launched her own fashion accessories line and home décor collection. She was a visiting professor at the University of Texas and was a much sought-after celebrity fixture in major fashion shows. She even had a Barbie fashioned after her.
Harold Koda, the former head fashion curator of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, heard about her impressive collection and invited Apfel to exhibit at least five of her favorite pieces. After a series of meetings, five became 300. And instead of Apfel just lending her pieces, Koda invited Apfel to style the exhibit, as she would put them together.
“It was very rare,” she once said, “for the Met to invite someone living to exhibit her personal collection. Typically, they’d show items of someone already dead.” With barely any promotion—banking heavily on word of mouth, “Rara Avis” became one of the Met’s most celebrated events post-Diana Vreeland, and catapulted Apfel to icon status.
Apfel’s apples for thought
Last 2018, Apfel released her book, Accidental Icon: Musings of a Geriatric Starlet. An extremely entertaining read filled with fascinating stories, wise advice, and witty one-liners, it’s become my new bible. Here are some highlights and my favorite insights:
On being an icon:
“I never expected to be called a fashion icon. I never expected museums to exhibit my clothing and accessories. I never expected that anyone would want to make a documentary about my life, much less have it nominated for an Emmy award.”
On finding the perfect partner:
“Everyone he ever touched knows he was truly a Gentle Man,” Apfel writes of husband Carl, who passed away in 2015, three days shy of his 101st birthday. “His humor and generosity were legendary. We did almost everything together. His encouragement and unwavering support made this book possible. He pushed me into the limelight and then basked in my success. He got much more of a kick from the accolades I received than I did. I miss him madly. Sleep well, sweet prince.”
On aging:
“There’s nothing wrong with wrinkles. When you’re older, trying to look years younger is foolish, and you’re not fooling anyone. When you’re 75 and you get a facelift, nobody is going to think you are 30.”
On staying young:
“When you get older, as I often paraphrase an old family friend, if you have two of anything, chances are one of them is going to hurt when you get up in the morning. But you have to get up and move beyond the pain. If you want to stay young, you have to think young. Having a sense of wonder, a sense of humor, and a sense of curiosity—these are my tonic. They keep you young, childlike, open to new people and things, ready for another adventure. I never want to be an old fuddy-duddy; I hold the self-proclaimed record for being the World’s Oldest Living Teenager and I intend to keep it that way.”
On money:
“If you’re happy, have found love, are surrounded by good people, doing what you like and giving back to others, that’s success. Selling your soul for a buck is not worth the real price you pay — not to me, anyways.”
On individuality:
“I never tried to fit in. It’s not that I went out of my way to be a rebel or do things that were not socially acceptable—unfortunately, I did have to learn how to play bridge when I was younger—but I learned early on that I have to be my own person to be content.
“If you have to be all things to all people, you end up being ‘nothin’ to nobody.’ The way I dress may be ‘different’ or ‘eccentric’ to some who feel the need to label, but that’s of no concern to me. I don’t dress to be stared at; I dress for myself.”
On style:
“You have to know yourself before you can find your own style. If I tell you what to do, it’s not your style anymore. It’s mine. Style cannot be bought or learned—it’s in your DNA. Style is not wearing expensive clothes. You can have all kinds of money and have no style at all. It’s not what you wear but how you wear it.”