Spicy questions to ask your partner to get to know them better
Sex is more than just for pleasure.
Making love is about connection as it strengthens emotional bonds, builds trust, and fosters intimacy between the partners, according to sex therapist Dr. Rica Cruz, the founder of sex therapy app Unprude.
What's more intimate than sharing a long, deep kiss and then feeling your partner smile as you break away? Who else do you get to share laughs with during awkward moments as you're doing the deed?
“Regular, satisfying sex can deepen attraction, improve communication, and create a sense of security in a relationship. When partners prioritize their sexual connection, they’re more likely to feel loved, desired, emotionally close, and happy,” she shared with PhilSTAR L!fe.
On the contrary, when one’s sexual needs are not met, Cruz said that it can lead to “frustration, resentment, and emotional distance,” not to mention misunderstandings and low self-esteem.
She added that it can also change the dynamics of romantic couples to “roommate syndrome,” where there is a decrease in passion and romance.
Getting comfortable with the sexual self
Before doing it with your partner, you should also be able to know your own body by being comfortable exploring it. Cruz said that you can first identify what feels good for you—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
“Understand your desires, and give yourself permission to enjoy pleasure,” she said, you may also read guides on how to or use a helpful app to help you process intense emotions, as well as work on removing the guilt and hesitation that may be holding you back.
When you’ve taken time to learn about yourself, you can get to know your partner better. If you’re doing it for the first time—or if you want to spice things up—you can start asking questions like, “Which part of my body excites you the most?" or "What kind of song gets you in the mood?" This way, you’re not only discovering your partner on a deeper level, but it also gives that thrill of finally getting down to business
This stage will also help the couple ease up and compromise with each other's needs and desires. Here are other intimate questions you can ask to break the ice, according to Cruz.
- What’s a fantasy you’ve never told me about?
- What turns you on the most—physically and mentally?
- How do you feel most loved and desired in bed?
- If we had an entire day to do anything intimate, what would you want?
- What’s something you want to try but haven’t yet?
“The key is to keep the playfulness in the relationship—flirt with each other, tease each other, and just have fun!” Cruz said.
Asking these kinds of questions can not only help break the ice but also build a safe space for you and your partner. Talking about what happens in the bedroom involves a level of vulnerability as these are queries you might not get asked a lot.
After all, sex is a bonding experience and shouldn't be limited to just the act itself. You can have fun and talk to your partner before, during, and after. Isn't sex better when you're expressing love, tending to your partner's needs, and making sure they feel good?
