How we make our kids do all sorts of stuff like run a marathon
It is chilly in Tokyo as I look out of our hotel room in Shinjuku, which has the view of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building where the Tokyo Marathon starting line was on March 3. I am still in awe at what transpired. I had the privilege of witnessing my daughter, Hannah, run the marathon with an astonishing finish that cut her previous Boston Marathon time by an hour.
Hannah asked me why I would fly out to Tokyo on the day of my birthday to come days before the marathon. I told her I couldn’t imagine having her take the trip without anyone from her family. We have always done things together. In fact when they were little, we all made sure everyone came with us to train, race, and recover from our races. We even have a tagline after our Team Pangilinan logo on our jerseys which says: “We Tri(athlon) Together.”
Besides, the Tokyo Marathon is one of my favorite marathon routes in the world. I love it because I am obsessed with Japanese food! We all know that runners have to eat and carbo load a lot before the race so why not feast on food you really love, right? At the same time, I love having a run in Tokyo because it is super organized, clean, and the course is flat and walks you through the whole city which already gives you a very thorough tour of Tokyo and then it ends just by the Imperial Palace. The only challenge is to get to the Finish Line to cheer the runners because it is a maze going there! However, the fact that this World Marathon Major course is in Asia and so accessible by plane at just around five hours from the Philippines makes it really so practical for Filipino runners. Instead of adding days to the trip in order to recover from jet lag and acclimatize to the weather, you just use up the days to catch up with friends, shop, and take a break, really.
A lot of people ask us how we make our kids do all sorts of stuff—in this case, run a marathon. I always tell them that there is nothing we parents can do to “make” our kids do anything at all. We can simply motivate them, but the decision is theirs on what path they will take. I think through the years, it has been pretty clear to our children that we are here to guide them, not dictate to them. The key is having created the environment for our children to witness and take part in the things that we love to do, which rub off on them naturally. Albert Einstein said, “I do not teach anyone; I only provide the environment in which they can learn.” He also said, “The environment is everything that isn’t me.” Our children kinda know the drill already because they have lived it growing up, witnessing what it takes to train, race, and recover from all the multisport races we have joined. It has actually put us in a very tight situation in a sense, because we know our kids are always watching us; so it is a good check for us to always be on our toes and on “good behavior.” But we seriously never imagined that they would want to take the same path we took when it comes to our passion for sports.
Whereas before, when our children would just be our spectators, now the tables have somewhat turned. This time, I got to experience firsthand how Hannah prepared, raced, and recovered from her marathon. I also found myself being particular about her checklist and things to do. At one point, I had to tell myself to enjoy the moment as I watched her do her own thing and just be available for whatever help she needed. Seriously, though, it was like I was also going to run the marathon myself. I was going through my own checklists, reviewing the route and then eavesdropping on her strategy for how to reach her PR (personal record). Whew. I had to learn how to figure out the subway to try to catch her at different points of the course to be able to cheer her and make her feel that her Mama was rooting out for her. I also made sure to try to catch her as soon as she crossed the finish line because I know how impactful that is for every runner—to have your loved ones with you to celebrate such a feat. When Hannah had finally finished, I checked my stats and realized that my energy was depleted by 30% and I had actually covered a 10-kilometer distance myself!
The most beautiful thing is for parents to be spectators to the way our seeds have grown and how the harvest is even way more than what we expected. We weren’t even so particular about what we were sowing but we were mindful to keep sowing good seeds. And boy, did this experience blow my mind! Our children can really take on what we have planted in them and fly with it if we let them! I would run my marathons for fun and enjoyment but Hannah ran for fun, enjoyment, and then to push her limits as well as pave the way for other runners to also have the chance to experience the joy of running through her run club Just One, which has impacted a whole new generation of runners.
The Just One Run Club meets regularly to train together. Just One also is a Fun Run that has 3km, 5km, 10km and 21km distances for runners. It paves the way for people to enjoy the sport, whether it’s a short or longer distance. There is room for every kind of runner.
For every parent asking how to make your kids do things, be that first. Show and don’t tell. Sit back, watch, and then enjoy the journey with them, because, you know, the best is yet to come to those who plant good seeds on good soil.
