Why fatherhood isn’t the only way to leave a legacy for these men
As more adults choose to remain child-free or postpone parenthood, some men are rethinking what it means to leave a lasting legacy. Traditionally viewed through the lens of passing down a family name and wealth, legacy today is becoming more about personal impact, nurtured relationships, and community.
Kyle Talosig, 32, and his wife, Jireh, knew from the start that they wanted to remain child-free as raising a child is a "massive responsibility."
"We believe that if you bring a life into this world, you want to give them your absolute best. Recognizing that reality made our decision to remain child-free. And from there, of course, we look into our options for contraception," he told PhilSTAR L!fe.
To make that decision permanent, Kyle underwent a vasectomy—a choice heavily influenced by his work in community development, where he witnessed the unfair physical and systemic contraceptive burdens placed on women in the Philippines.
"Often, the physical and administrative burden of contraception falls heavily on women when biologically, we all know that men are the ones [who are] continuously fertile. So we wanted to make an analytical and informed choice about what was safest and best for us as a couple," Kyle said.
Living the DINK life
For other couples, bypassing children is a temporary chapter. RV Flores, 28, and Emerson Dacion, 32, are currently enjoying the "DINK" (dual-income, no-kids) lifestyle with their wives, prioritizing freedom, travel, and marital foundations.
RV said that he and his wife are focusing on shared experiences while preparing for their future together. For him, the years before parenthood are not just about enjoying greater financial freedom but also about building a stable foundation that he hopes will benefit the family they may have one day.
Emerson Dacion, 32, echoed this, saying the arrangement gives them the freedom to focus on their goals and experiences as a couple.
“Nagagawa namin 'yung mga bagay na gusto namin na wala kaming iniisip na sinong magbabantay sa bata or kailangan naming magpaalam na aalis," Emerson said.
Married for three years, he noted that he and his wife do not consider themselves permanently child-free. Instead, they see their current DINK setup as a period for strengthening their relationship before deciding to have children.
For Kyle, the appeal of the DINK setup goes beyond financial or practical considerations and is rooted in the relationship itself.
"I would say the most fulfilling part of the DINK setup is the incredible sense of freedom. We don't have the day-to-day, lifelong responsibility of raising a child and that gives us the flexibility to live life on our own terms, whether that's going out, traveling, or just pivoting our plans at a moment's notice," he shared.
"But beyond...the lifestyle perks, what's truly meaningful to me is the deep alignment I share with my wife, Jai. Being on the exact same page and steering our lives in the same direction, it's incredibly bonding," he added.
Redefining legacy
For these men, stepping away from immediate fatherhood hasn't meant abandoning their legacy—it has just redefined it.
"I really don't view legacy as something that has to be tied to having children, like passing down the DNA or carrying on a last name. To me, legacy lives within who you are and what you choose to do for your family, for the community, or the general public," Kyle told L!fe.
RV agreed. Although he and his wife hope to become parents someday, he believes a meaningful impact can extend beyond one's own family.
"If ever naman din hindi kami mabiyayaan to have children, it wouldn't stop me from having an opportunity to help those who are... around us," he told L!fe.
"I can exert my effort and [share my] time to help those who are seeking the strength, the confidence, or just the overall security of having a fatherly figure in their life," RV added.
For Emerson, the legacy he hopes to leave his future children is not merely his assets, but a stable and secure life, noting that many DINK couples have grown up carrying financial burdens and responsibilities inherited from previous generations.
"Sa tingin ko, karamihan talaga ng DINK couple, nagdaan sila doon sa part na may struggles sila... Napamanahan sila ng instead na magandang wealth... problema, responsibilidad. I think 'yun 'yung ayaw namin ibigay du'n samagiging future children namin. Gusto namin... mabuhay sila bilang bata, bilang anak, hindi para maging responsibilidad nila kami," he said. "Kaya pinipili namin maging DINK for now."
Kyle said people should be empowered to define their own legacy rather than feel bound by societal expectations of parenthood.
"I want people to make truly informed decisions. For me, that means taking the time to understand different perspectives and lifestyles before choosing to have children," he said, noting that he "deeply respects people who choose parenthood."
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as it's what they genuinely want. The issue is when people do it simply because they are following a societal standard or baseline expectation," he continued.
"The most important thing is that you educate yourself. Look at the realities and make a conscious, intentional choice that aligns with your own happiness. That's the most important part: your own happiness and fulfillment," he added.
