Parasocial love affairs, post-concert depression, and the curious state of being human
There was a time when your mental or emotional state was simply “okay,” “not okay,” or “I need a drink.” Now? We’re swimming in a sea of micro-labels, a range of moods, and online information telling us exactly what kind of downward emotional spiral we’re in. From imposter syndrome to post-concert depression, parasocial heartbreak to perception drift, we’ve learned to label everything we feel. We overdiagnose ourselves, identify our trauma, and talk about ourselves nonstop. On the one hand, it’s empowering (finally, a language for the feelings we used to silently endure). On the other hand? It’s exhausting. This is not madness. It’s modern life.
So let’s try to name or put a label on these present-day mental states. I’m sure many of us can relate. It’s psychology meets pop culture meets “what the hell is happening to me?”
Parasocial relationships. You think you’re in a relationship, but the other person doesn’t even know you exist. Welcome to the strange intimacy of parasocial relationships—emotional connections formed with celebrities, influencers, and yes, even AI. First coined by sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in the 1950s, this one-sided love affair has been supercharged by social media. People feel they know these public figures intimately, and are close friends, sometimes lovers. The human brain is developed to be social. Whether in real life, or in the digital world, this holds true. So here’s a spoiler: For you, it is real love. But, it is just not a reciprocal love.
Post-concert depression (PCD). You went, you screamed, you cried, you filmed half the concert you’ll never rewatch—and now you’re empty. PCD is the emotional hangover that follows a life-altering live show. PCD is essentially a dopamine crash. According to the publication Healthline, “PCD is something that music fans often discuss. It is a feeling of sadness and low mood after a concert or festival.” Though not a formal medical diagnosis, it doesn’t mean that the feelings are not real. I personally experienced this recently after a concert. I actually felt like crying when it was over, and I couldn’t understand why. I guess the more cherished the artists or songs, the harder the fall.
Perception drift. Your jawline looked sharp this morning. By lunch, it’s a marshmallow. Is your face actually changing? No. But your brain thinks it is. Perception drift refers to the subtle, sometimes dramatic shifts in how we view ourselves. According to the National Institutes of Health, the term is mostly used referring to individuals who lose sight of how they originally looked, and continues to have cosmetic procedures to the point that they don’t remotely resemble themselves anymore. It is a distorted way of looking at yourself, based on your last beauty treatment or plastic surgery. To put it simply: You are morphing into a stranger, because your mind is glitching.
Face and body dysmorphia. This goes beyond bad selfie days. Ever wonder why many people over retouch themselves on Instagram? Face and body dysmorphia is when perceived “flaws” become mental obsessions. While Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is clinically recognized, its more casual cousin floats among us all, especially in the age of beauty filters and AI-generated hotness. According to a JAMA Network (an online medical publications group) study, there are, “alarming spikes in body image distress among teens and adults alike, driven by unrealistic digital standards on social media most of all.” And it’s not just about beauty. It’s about identity, control, and the war between the mirror and the mind.
Age fluidity. Chronologically 40, emotionally 27, spiritually 83. Age fluidity is the sensation of drifting in and out of your own age—sometimes feeling older, sometimes younger, sometimes like you’re not aging at all. While not officially medically recognized as a disorder, it taps into how identity detaches from biology. It’s less about lying about your age, and more about living in the gap between how old you are and how old you feel. Like I will forever be 33.
Toxic positivity. Smile. Blessed. Be grateful. Manifest it. These well-meaning mantras can become emotional straightjackets when they leave no room for real feelings. “Toxic positivity denies the human right to feel negative emotions,” says Dr. Susan David, author of Emotional Agility. When we suppress sadness, fear, or anger in favor of a fake smile, we’re not being strong, we’re being emotionally suppressed.
Dunning-Kruger Syndrome. Ever met someone wildly confident yet painfully clueless? That’s the Dunning-Kruger effect. Per Psychology Today, it is a cognitive bias where people with low ability overestimate their competence. It’s not arrogance. It’s ignorance of ignorance. This is my pet peeve. People who “don’t know that they don’t know.” Meanwhile, those who do know what they’re doing often suffer from the opposite problem: crippling self-doubt. Which brings us to...
Imposter Syndrome. You’ve earned the title, the trophy, multiple accolades. You are, by all means, a success. But inside, you’re still waiting to be “found out.” Imposter syndrome affects over 70% of people, especially high achievers. According to psychologist Dr. Valerie Young, a noted expert on Impostor Syndrome, it stems from perfectionism, fear of failure, and unrealistic self-expectations. The paradox? Feeling like a fraud often means you’re not one.
Attention fatigue. You check your mobile phone to reply to a text. You emerge 45 minutes later, emotionally raw from a carousel of news, memes, thirst traps, and Tiktok videos. Attention fatigue is the mental exhaustion that comes from constant sensory input and fractured focus. “Our brains aren’t wired for this level of sustained fragmentation,” says psychologist Dr. Daniel Levitin. No wonder you can’t finish a thought (sometimes a sentence) without opening three apps on your phone, and losing yourself. Not to mention forfeiting sleep after scrolling social media for hours. The best way to deal with attention fatigue is a digital detox. Cold turkey.
Doomscrolling disorder. Not officially a disorder, but it might as well be. Doomscrolling is the compulsive consumption of bad news. It’s anxiety wearing the mask of staying informed. We panic-skim headlines and call it productivity. But Dr. Nina Vasan of Stanford University says, “Too much exposure to negative news can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depressive symptoms.” Balance, not blackout, is the goal. Touch grass, as Gen Z says.
Brain fog. Brain fog is that murky, slow-thinking mental state where you’re conscious, but not exactly present, according to WebMD. Like your mind is not running on Wi-Fi but the old dial-up fiber-optic. It is common after having sleepless nights, illness, burnout, or emotional breakdowns. Tasks feel harder. Words vanish at mid-sentence. And what to recommend for this? A total reboot with nonstop rest.
Where's your mind at, really?
We’ve become masters at labeling every flicker of feeling—diagnosing moods, naming neuroses, putting words to what used to just be called “a bad day.” It’s a testament to how far we’ve come in understanding the mind, but also a reflection of how complex (maybe too complex) life has become. Once upon a time, we were just “tired” or “in a funk.” Now, it’s attention fatigue layered with imposter syndrome wrapped in perception drift. Don’t get me wrong. It is a gift to know ourselves this deeply. But sometimes, I wish it didn’t take this much self-awareness just to get through the day.
