Wash your language
In Avengers: Age of Ultron, there’s a scene where Iron Man says, “Sh*t!” only to be immediately told off like a child by Captain America, who tut-tuts him: “Language.” Tony Stark’s reply (“Wait a second… No one else is gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said, ‘Language’?”) elicits laughter from the viewers and an impish, “It just slipped out” reply from Steve Rogers. These off-the-cuff quips would set the premise for similar exchanges in later MCU films.
At a tender age, many of us are told to watch our language (or else our folks will wash out our mouths with soap) because, apparently, society frowns upon the delightful symphony of spontaneous expletives and creative metaphors uttered by grownups. It’s like we’re all expected to be linguistic contortionists, twisting our words into polite shapes that won’t make grandmothers make the sign of the cross or bosses question their hiring decisions.
Imagine a world where every “#$%@!” is replaced with a charming “Oh, frak!” like Battlestar Galactica shrewdly did in both its original 1978 TV version and the reimagined series that aired from 2004 to 2009. Every nerdy kid, of course, knew that it was meant as the taboo “F-word.” So, merely changing the spelling makes it okay?
Anyone notice the way Korean drama series use “wench” instead of “bitch”? Are the translators just being overly literal? Of course, substituting words, just like using euphemisms and omissions, is within the creative powers of the writers to help maintain a level of decency in dialogue and make the product more accessible and appropriate for a broader audience—without sacrificing the original content.
This hasn’t stopped the production of profanity-loaded films like Deadpool & Wolverine, which is officially the highest-grossing R-rated movie ever. The franchise just crossed the $1 billion mark in grosses, and Ryan Reynolds has made it abundantly and irreverently clear that he is Marvel Jesus despite uttering the F-word over a hundred times. Even Miss Americana herself, Taylor Swift, surprisingly used the expletive 18 times on her latest album.
Some netizens have made it their life’s mission to act as PC cops, policing not only creative content but also what is exchanged on social media. They’re similar to Grammar Nazis, like Weird Al Yankovic. They probably won’t let me get away with using this term, so I’ll keep this discussion tame, like a whimsical play written by someone who had their sarcasm settings dialed down to “G-rated.”
Political correctness is the modern societal equivalent of walking through a minefield while trying to juggle knives and singing your national anthem in perfect pitch (and with the correct lyrics, Christian). The concept itself is rooted in the noble idea of respecting everyone’s identity, experience and feelings. It’s about creating a world where everyone feels included and no one’s feathers get ruffled — unless they are literally birds, in which case, that’s just nature.
Take, for instance, the recent 2024 Olympics, where the Algerian boxer Imane Khelif found herself at the center of a swirling controversy. Khelif, a cisgender woman who failed a gender eligibility test at the World Championships, became the object of online vitriol following the withdrawal of Italian boxer Angela Carini in the first minute of their bout after crying, “It’s not fair!” Commentators and social media warriors alike were quick to pounce on the choice of words against Khelif, dissecting each syllable like it was the Rosetta Stone. Amid the uproar, was it even possible to say she “beat” instead of “defeated” her opponent? Should we tiptoe and describe the contest as “engaging in a spirited competition where Khelif emerged victorious”? Apparently, in this PC era, the mere suggestion of violence—even in a sport where the goal is to, well, knock the other person out—is enough to ignite a firestorm.
As we navigate this linguistic labyrinth, it becomes evident that PC is really about politeness on steroids. Never mind walking on eggshells. It’s the turbo-charged version of saying “excuse me” when you accidentally bump into someone. But instead of just apologizing for your physical misstep, you’re now preemptively apologizing for any potential emotional or psychological missteps that might occur.
Politeness in communication is an ancient art form, honed by generations of people who wanted to avoid getting smacked upside the head at family gatherings. Remember your lola’s constant advice to always say the “magic words”? As it turns out, “Please” and “Thank you” are not mere Barney-isms or Sesame Street lingo, but indeed magic words that lie at the heart of interpersonal communication. Some would even elevate such words to diplomatic status. The modern twist, however, requires an additional layer of sensitivity to ensure that no one feels marginalized or offended, even in the slightest.
But here’s where it gets tricky: humans, being the wonderfully complex creatures that we are, have an endless array of sensitivities. One person’s casual water-cooler joke might be another person’s deeply offensive remark. Navigating the landscape of sexual harassment and gender sensitivity is like trying to avoid stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk to protect the bag of groceries in your arms—only now, the cracks are invisible, and you’re wearing a blindfold.
Can anyone actually wash your mouth out with soap after you nailed the delivery of a fresh green joke à la Carlos Yulo’s golden dismount, or after audibly cursing in a traffic jam? I dare anyone who would even try that on me when I resort to the F-word after stubbing my toe.
Given the complexities of modern communication, it’s no wonder that people are turning to technology to help them navigate this brave new world. Language-learning apps and online videos have become the new classrooms, where anyone can become a polyglot or, at the very least, figure out how to publicly order bouillabaisse, coq au vin, or even foie gras without raising eyebrows or causing an international incident.
Digital platforms like Duolingo, Babbel, Busuu, Memrise, Lingoda, Drops and, yes, Rosetta Stone, are not just for learning foreign languages; they have evolved to offer lessons in cultural sensitivity, helping you understand the nuances of different societies so you can avoid unintentional faux pas.
Take the classic example of learning to say “hello” in different languages. It’s not just about the word itself but about the cultural context in which it’s used. In Korea or Japan, a bow usually accompanies the greeting to show respect. In Italy, a hearty handshake or even a kiss on both cheeks might follow. And in the PC universe, you also need to be aware of how the greeting, or your text in lower case or ALL CAPS, might be perceived by others.
In the end, political correctness, politeness and the study of language all intertwine in the grand tapestry of human interaction. While the case of Imane Khelif put the spotlight on the delicate balance of words in the public arena, it also reminded us of the power of language to shape our perceptions, relationships, and all those other BSs we encounter every day.
Now, please excuse me while I wash my mouth out with soap and water.