Meghan Markle reveals suicidal thoughts and royal family’s concern about her son’s skin color in tell-all interview
The much-anticipated explosive interview of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle with Oprah Winfrey revealed the royal family expressing their concerns about how the skin color of the couple’s son, and Meghan’s brush with suicidal thoughts while she was a working member of the royal family.
In the two-hour interview special, Meghan disclosed that when she was pregnant with her son Archie, the royal institution told her that her son would not be given a title of prince, which would not give him security.
“While I was pregnant, they wanted to change the convention for Archie. Why?” she said and continued, “there’s no explanation (for it).”
Discussions about “how dark” Archie would be also came up at the time, said Meghan, who did not say exactly which member of the family raised the question.
“That would be very damaging to them,” she said.
Later in the interview, Prince Harry confirmed Meghan's concern but said he won’t share this conversation he had with the royal family.
“That conversation, I am never going to share,” he said. “At the time, it was awkward, I was a bit shocked.”
However, when prodded to share the questions asked during the conversation, Prince Harry said, “What will the kids look like? That was at the beginning when she wasn’t going to get security, when my family suggested that she might continue acting (because there wasn’t going to be money for her)."
Meghan shared about the lasting wounds inflicted by the life under intense public scrutiny while she was a working member of the royal family.
She admitted experiencing suicidal thoughts while in the royal family, as life at the time can be isolating and lonely with no clear support from its members. She “didn’t want to be alive anymore,” which is a “frightening thought,” she said.
“I just didn’t see a solution,” Meghan told Oprah. “I would sit up at night, like, I don’t understand how all of this is being churned out.” She also shared that her friends and family were concerned about her, saying, “Meg, they are not protecting you.”
Meghan described her thoughts of suicide was “very real” and admitted she was scared because “I don’t think I can be left alone.”
She also shared that she went to human resources and pleaded her case to seek help but she was turned down as she was not a “paid member of the institution."
“The way you're describing this, you're trapped and couldn't get help, even though you're on the verge of suicide. That's what you are describing, that's what I'm hearing," Oprah said.
"Yes," Meghan responded. "That's the truth."
“It takes so much courage to admit that you need to help. To admit that you need help,” Meghan said.
Oprah, who said at the beginning of the interview that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are not getting paid for the special, asked Meghan, “How do you feel about the palace hearing you speak your truth today?”
“I’m not going to live in fear,” she responded. “I don’t know how they could expect that, after all of this time, we would still just be silent if there is an active role that the Firm is playing in perpetuating falsehoods about us. At a certain point, you’re going to go, someone just tell the truth.”
"If that comes with a risk of losing things, there's a lot that's been lost already," said Meghan, adding, “I’ve lost my father, I lost a baby, I nearly lost my name. There’s the loss of identity.”
Now that Meghan lives in California with her family after she and Prince Harry stepped back from their royal duties last year, she sees hope in the horizon.
“I’m still standing,” said Meghan, who also revealed in the interview that she is pregnant with a baby girl.
“My hope for people in the takeaway from this, is to know that there’s another side—to know that life is worth living.”
Banner image screenshot from CBS