To the people with whom I share all my victories
In the digital age, milestones are celebrated via Facebook posts and Instagram Stories. It’s our generation’s version of a tarpaulin plastered in front of a gate. It reaches a wider audience; before we know it, our third cousin’s neighbor’s best friend’s sister also knows about the milestone we were celebrating.
During graduation season last November, my news feed filled with pictures of fellow graduates. Their posts were often accompanied by lengthy essays ending with achievements during their stay at the university. Some graduated with Latin honors, while some excelled in extracurriculars. Some were just happy to conclude their academic journey.
Behind the roasted pork and the sound of the karaoke machine, there is a story filled with hardship that only a number of people have the privilege of knowing.
Parents would post photos of celebratory dinners with the whole family sitting around a circular table with their mouths curled in a smile. Judging by the restaurant's interior, you could tell that it was upscale.
The comment sections are usually flooded by congratulatory messages, GIFs, and even Bible verses from unfamiliar faces.
Some commenters are the neighbors who used to gossip about how the graduate would probably get pregnant even before she could finish her degree because she was sent to Manila for college.
Aunts and uncles who disappear whenever they’re asked for a bit of help would also suddenly reappear, commenting how they knew that the graduate was going to make it and that they are proud to see her achieve so much at such a young age, claiming her victory as if it were theirs.
At the feast my parents hosted, relatives would often joke about how, if they needed a lawyer, they would come to see me. Of course my service would be free of charge. We are bound by blood after all.
Mom and Dad would just laugh at these comments, brushing them off and pretending as if it was only the wind. It’s so striking how people are quick to show kindness and warmth in times they knew would be beneficial, yet they are the exact type to abandon you the moment you start to sink.
Victories and milestones are celebrated by a majority of people, but they always overlook the struggle that came alongside them. The amount of sleepless nights, gatherings missed, tears shed, and the sacrifices my parents made all happened behind closed doors. The people who were my pillars of support and the ones I leaned on didn't leave comments for the world to see. Their messages were all sent via text messages or e-mails, each one personal as they recall the times in which they saw me at my most vulnerable state. They didn't judge or talk behind my back. They listened, and they stayed.
Many people claim to know me from the time they saw me achieve so much at a young age. They claim to have seen me play tag with cousins from when I was a kid, or from when my dad would carry me wherever he went when I was a baby. These people claim to know me as they establish some sort of connection, yet they haven’t really seen the experiences that shaped me into who I am today.
They don’t know about the time my best friend traveled from Lipa to Manila just to cheer me up because I was doubting my abilities, or when my group of friends surrounded me in a circle as I broke down on our way home because of the academic pressure I had been put under.
They don’t know about the times my mother would sacrifice her sleep just to make sure I could go to university on time, or how my partner didn’t take any shift for an entire week so he could listen to me talk about the same thing over and over again.
These people are the ones to whom I dedicate each of my achievements. Without them, I wouldn’t have made it this far. They helped pick me up whenever I would fall. They wiped my tears with the ends of their sleeves whenever I would cry. They listened and held me. They stayed when all I could offer was a packet of noodles and some leftover food I had bought with my allowance.
Behind the roasted pork and the sound of the karaoke machine, there is a story filled with hardship that only a number of people have the privilege of knowing.
All of my achievements, I share and dedicate to each one of them.
