Long live the Marites: Why are Filipinos so into chismis?
Oh, chismis. People either love it or hate it, but Filipinos can’t seem to avoid it. It’s so ingrained in our culture that we have names for people who chismis a lot: chismosa and Marites.
Even with its prevalence, chismis has a negative reputation. Gossip usually means scandalous things about other people we shouldn’t be talking about. These stories aren’t often disclosed to us directly by the people involved; we hear them from third-party sources just because it’s interesting or juicy. There’s also the stereotype of the Marites, usually the older ladies in your neighborhood who have nothing better to do. To get labeled as one is not usually a compliment.
To understand this love-hate relationship better, we asked Filipinos—anonymously, of course—why they love chismis.
The thrill of it all
One person said they love chismis because they “love knowing things I’m not supposed to.” There’s a certain thrill that comes with it. You’re literally being let in on a secret.
The particular excitement comes when the subject of the chismis is someone you wouldn’t necessarily associate with their action. That quiet girl in your class is secretly balancing two boyfriends? What a scandal. Your neighbor’s son was caught pocketing some money from his job? The absolute drama.
Other people’s mess is more entertaining
The Marites in you is exhilarated to hear the exciting things others are up to. There’s a curiosity that you want to satisfy. Some people said, "Mas exciting ang chismis kesa sa buhay ko,” and “Because my own life is boring, I need to be entertained by someone else.”
Let’s be real. If these things were happening to you it would be extremely stressful and not fun at all. Sometimes a “boring” life is a safe one, and we find entertainment instead in the more eventful lives of others.
It brings the besties together
Some people say that chismis strengthens their friendships. “Mga bestie ko ngayon ‘yung mga kachismisan ko dati,” says one interviewee. “We feel more included,” says another. There’s a sense of unity built on sharing information, confirming things you’ve heard, and cross-referencing collected details.
On the flip side, when you and a group of people don’t share any common interests, you tend to gravitate towards talking about mutual friends. Another interviewee sums it up perfectly: “It feels like it's the easiest way to continue friendships when you don't have a lot in common kasi 'yun ‘yung common topic na kaya naming pag-usapan.”
Contact tracing
Minsan, may masamang kutob ka talaga. As one user puts it, “Sa chismis naco-confirm ‘yung mga hinala ko sa isang tao.” They liken it to contact tracing: you might figure out who spread what where. You can even use chismis to your advantage. If there’s chismis that gets out about you, you’ll know who in your circle you need to cut off.
It’s (historically) in our blood
Historically, gossip has been looked down on and seen as an act done only by women.
But this stereotype is sexist, stresses Dr. Sylvia Estrada Claudio, Professor Emeritus and gender advocate from the Department of Women and Development Studies at the University of the Philippines.
Talking about personal matters either to seek support from other women or to reiterate values and ethics serves an important function.
“In truth, we have exchanged news about our families, tribes, and communities as part of being human. It is part of what makes life thrilling and entertaining, and it satisfies curiosity too. Information on private matters about those we know educates us also about human behavior and the world we live in,” she says.
“Before women began insisting on equal participation in political and public life, women's private ‘gossip’ was derided as unimportant. It is also because patriarchal societies tended to devalue women's work in child-rearing and housework,” Dr. Claudio continues. “But talking about the difficulties of child-rearing, the positive and negative behaviors of husbands, abusive men, and housework is not trivial. Talking about personal matters either to seek support from other women or to reiterate values and ethics serves an important function.”
Overall, there seem to be some benefits to chismis, although these are mostly beneficial to people completely removed from the situation. The same can’t be said for those involved in the drama, but that’s another thing to contemplate. Being a Marites can be entertaining and bring some color into an otherwise dull day. As long as it’s all in good fun and you’re not letting it harm others, you should be fine. Just be mindful of why you’re doing it and what it does for you.
Dr. Claudio adds that we can use chismis for good: “Indeed those of us who continue to seek a better society need to help ground chismis networks in ways that help people form values against sexism and elitism.”