Armi Millare reveals 'heartbreak' of leaving UDD: 'Maybe I’ll never love anything the same way again'
Shortly after announcing her departure from the band UDD (formerly known as Up Dharma Down), vocalist Armi Millaire has opened up about the "heartbreak" of leaving her band of 17 years.
On Dec. 26, the band revealed that Millare exited in June after cutting ties with their label, Terno Recordings.
“Last June, I decided to sever ties with Terno Recordings, its mother company MTME and as a consequence of this, my band, UDD. For the last 17 years, I have experienced and learned so much in the company of my bandmates along with every person we have had the pleasure of interacting with,” Millare wrote on Instagram.
"UDD has remained my longest relationship—one that I've tried to keep sacred and tried to preserve with the principles I have upheld from the moment I learned that I had a dream: that one day I would be in that one band I would dedicate my life to."
"I see that there was more progress than perfection during our time together and I'm willing to let it end where it has. We had a good run."
Now, in an interview with NME Asia, the singer/ songwriter further explained the reason behind her decision to leave the band and her label.
“I was very young when I signed with the label; I was barely in my twenties and just wanted a record out. As I got older, I started to become more concerned about many things artists are not privy to. But my loyalty was always with UDD," she said.
"But if anyone ever said anything about the band, I’d be the first person to defend it. Because that was my castle – that’s where I lived and ate. I knew what it took to get to where we got. It was a lot of work.”
She added that the COVID-19 pandemic led her to a number of realizations: “[The pandemic] changed my perspective on what matters: things like quality of life, overall satisfaction, moral standards – like how much integrity matters to some of us, and how little time we actually have left.”
Millare also explained why she left their label Terno Recordings.
"I loved every bit of what we did together, but we were doing it way too much," she shared. "I felt very responsible for everybody even when I was unwell. And many times I was unwell.”
"I didn't know any better until I just felt my body literally giving up."
With UDD being a longstanding figure in OPM, Millare said: "I never saw UDD as a job. It was the thing I loved most; I would consider it the biggest part of me until I find something that I could love the same way. Maybe I’ll never love anything the same way again, but I would like to be proven wrong. I wouldn't call it so much a burnout; it felt more like a heartbreak.”
Maybe I’ll never love anything the same way again, but I would like to be proven wrong. I wouldn’t call it so much a burnout; it felt more like a heartbreak.
UDD, composed of Millare, drummer Ean Mayor, lead guitarist Carlos Tañada and bassist Paul Yap, was formed in 2004 and has since released four albums with songs that made an indelible mark in OPM, including titles Oo, Pag-Agos, Tadhana, Sana, and Sigurado.
"Although we're sad to see her leave the band, we wish her all the best as she embarks on her solo career. And we hope you can all support her future projects as well," the remaining members shared on social media after announcing Millare's exit.