'Deepest, deepest pain’: Kim and Feli Atienza bid farewell to daughter Emman in tearful eulogies
The last night of Emman Atienza’s wake brought tight hugs, some laughter, and many tears as family and friends said goodbye to the youngest daughter of Kuya Kim and his wife Felicia “Feli” Atienza.
On Nov. 4, under a canopy of weeping willows that shrouded Emman’s white marble urn, her parents, one after the other, delivered tearful eulogies for their 19-year-old daughter.
"It's a night of thanksgiving for the 19 beautiful years that He gave Emman to us. Emman was such a beautiful, kind person. She was generous to a fault," Kuya Kim said.
He then shared a story about Emman's generosity. It was Christmas, Kuya Kim said, and his father—former Manila mayor Lito Atienza—gave each of his grandchildren a sizeable amount of cash either for them to save or use for their education.
Instead of keeping the money for herself, Kuya Kim said Emman gave it away to members of their household. And he told her, "I'm not gonna tell your mom because your mom will get very pissed."
On the night before Emman left for Los Angeles, Kuya Kim shared another story about his daughter treating her gym friends to pizzas. Drawing laughter from the crowd, Kuya Kim described his surprise when, expecting to pay around P3,500, the actual bill was P28,000 because Emman bought 20 pizzas for about 100 of her gym friends.
"That's my Emman, so generous," he said.
"When Emman went, I was asking the Lord, 'Lord, why?' My prayer every single night was for Emman to be safe, for Emman to heal, for Emman to be protected. And then Emman passed away," Kuya Kim continued.
It's messages of sympathy from friends and even strangers that comfort the family, he said. Kuya Kim then read an email sent to him by an Indonesian student who knew Emman.
In the letter, the student talked about how they connected with Emman on mental health. On the same day that Emman died, the student also attempted self-harm, but they survived.
"I will continue to live in honor of your daughter," the letter ended.
"Based on what we see, [Emman's] touched so many lives. And the message is very clear: Be a little kind every day," said Kuya Kim.
"My Emman is gone. This is the lowest point in my life. But I have hope. Because if I am kind today, just a little kind... Emman is alive in my heart," he said.
Turning to Emman's urn, Kuya Kim said, his voice breaking, "Emman, I love you. Say hello to Jesus for me. Emmansky. My little Emmansky."
Feli was equally articulate in her eulogy.
Referring to Emman as her mini-me, she described how her younger daughter shared several qualities with her father. "They both have the gift of yacking. So at the dinner table, it was always 'Yak, yak, yak' between the two of them. And they did, as well, have a flair for the drama. They were great singers, actors, dancers," Feli said.
But Emman shared her mom's facial features, Feli said, as well as their long legs and a duck waddle when they walked.
"Emman was very intelligent. In fact, she's a better version of me. She's the version 2," Feli said. "When she was in elementary school, the principal then said, 'The best Atienza is yet to come'. Sorry, Jose; sorry Eliana," Feli said, smiling at her two older children.
"But the most outstanding feature and characteristic of Emman was her authenticity," she added. "Emman shared stories openly, she shared her pain, her struggle, but she also shared her joy. Ang that resonated deeply with many people."
"Now, in her absence, there is silence. But, Emman, I still hear you. I hear your boisterous laughter. I hear your yakking. I hear your singing. I still see you. I see you walking by in your sassy street wear," Feli addressed Emman, whom, she said, loved cartwheeling and dancing in the house.
And Feli confessed, "I'm wearing your Jo Malone [perfume]. In fact, I snitched it from her bedroom, and it's now mine, and I'm wearing it tonight."
"As a pastor once said, 'In His garden of grace, even the broken trees bear fruit," Feli said, showing her family's strong faith.
Feli continued, as she paused to choke back tears, "Emman, the moment I found out that we lost you, that was the deepest, deepest pain I've ever felt in my life. And while we have gained an angel, know that I will carry your torch here on Earth."
She concluded, "Emman, Emman, Emman, you're my sunshine. You're my love. You're my everything. And one day we will be together again. I love you."
Emman passed away at 19 in her home in Los Angeles, California on Oct. 22. She was known for her quirky, vibrant videos. She also openly shared her personal journey with anxiety and online hate to raise mental health awareness.
