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Ayn Bernos on trying, failing and getting better: ‘I will always be a work in progress’

By Hannah Mallorca Published Oct 27, 2021 3:24 pm

Before “Morena Queen” Ayn Bernos became known for empowering her followers to fearlessly challenge society’s beauty standards, she used to give herself pep talks and act confident to get over her self-doubt. 

In an Oct. 27 episode of Adulting With Joyce Pring podcast, Bernos revealed that her shyness caused her to lose a lot of opportunities in college. “Hindi ako nag-audition for my media org when I knew that all I wanted was to work in the media. I wanted to be in front of the camera, kaso nahihiya talaga ako.”

“Na-insecure ako. Na-intimidate ako. So eventually, inisip ko na ‘I can’t go on with this. I need to do something to change the trajectory of my life,’” Bernos recalled, looking back on her college years. “Kasi, I know that I can do more, but I haven’t seen it yet.”

Bernos said losing opportunities in college then empowered her to be better. “I surrounded myself with friends who didn’t laugh when I wanted to try out for something, kasi they knew that it could be a serious thing. I also looked for friends who also pursued (their goals). Instead of talking about other people, they talked about their plans,” she said.

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The 27-year-old beauty queen said that surrounding herself with goal-minded people inspired her to “work my way towards self-confidence.” 

Along the way, Bernos said she had to cut off certain people from her life to grow. “I didn’t feel good about myself when I hung out with my old friends. It’s necessarily not their fault, but it was more that we’re not complementing each other. I wanted to grow from the Ayn that I used to be.”

As Bernos conquered her shyness and self-doubt, she revealed that she used to act confident to give herself the boost she needed. 

“Sinasabi ko na kaya ko ‘to pero nanginginig ako. I had to pep-talk to myself every time I go on stage. Pero the more that I acted confidently, the less nervous I became. There was just one point (in my life) na bigla na lang, ‘Oh, it’s real. I’m actually confident. I’m actually not scared',” she said.

Eventually, Bernos learned how to embrace opportunities while acknowledging that she’s still a “work in progress.” “I got used to trying things, failing in the process, getting better, and realizing na at the end of it, hindi pala siya nakamamatay.”

She also added: “I will always be a work in progress. Because when I was younger, I would aim for this version of myself that is accomplished, smart, and had her life together. But now, I haven’t become that person but... na-accept ko that I’ll always be a work in progress. I’ll always be Ayn who’s trying to be better and who’s making mistakes here and there and dealing with the consequences.”

Bernos previously competed in the Miss Universe Philippines 2021 pageant where she finished as a top 16 finalist.