Are today's teens growing up too fast?

Every week, PhilSTAR L!fe explores issues and topics from the perspectives of different age groups, encouraging healthy but meaningful conversations on why they matter. This is Generations by our Gen Z columnist Angel Martinez.

There’s a picture of me from my grade school family day that routinely makes rounds when friends stalk me online. It was a photo I took with my parents: my hair sticking out in all directions, my face oily and on the cusp of developing acne, and my shoulders so high they almost reach my ears.

Despite my obvious happiness, my knee-jerk reaction whenever I see it again was annoyance. I’d try to self-soothe and say that everyone goes through these growing pains. But that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. These days, most kids no longer look or act their age, and are skipping the awkward phase altogether. Young girls are showing up to social events with faces full of makeup and skimpy outfits, and shopping at the same stores as their older sisters. What happened here?

Back in my day, we had magazines like Total Girl and K-Zone; appropriately funny TV shows on Disney Channel and Nickelodeon; and bright, vibrant-colored storefronts selling graphic tees and cutesy accessories. Fun as they were, however, these served as a consolidated effort from retail and media companies to capitalize on the spending power of an impressionable demographic. As they lost their market appeal, they faded away.

Children are thus forced to grow up faster than they should. Gone are the days of just trying on our mothers’ clothes and borrowing their bullet lipsticks in secret. Algorithms now push aspirational content at lightning speeds, so their current role models are influencers with filtered faces and sponsored routines, and their wishlists are full of products for manufactured insecurities. 

“Some current media and advertising frequently present these idealized or mature images that children internalize, shaping their sense of identity and appearance,” psychologist Dr. Jan Patrick Magpantay tells PhilSTAR L!fe. “Since kids often imitate what they see, this accelerates their interest in fashion, relationships, and self-presentation.”

A report released by cosmetics carrier Ulta Beauty found that members of Gen Alpha started experimenting with beauty products at an average age of eight. No wonder actress Shay Mitchell launched a controversial kids-only skincare line Rini, or active ingredients brand Drunk Elephant recently found themselves catering to an army of 10-year-old patrons. 

And while it’s true that most glow-up content caters to young women, even boys can be victims of excessive “looksmaxxing.” This trend encourages them to follow a set of habits for self-optimization: from trying out strength training and eating enough protein, to using a dangerous mix of hormones and medications. 

Without proper guidance, today’s children find themselves in a social media landscape of warped standards and sexualized content—one they were not made to navigate so early. As we continue to erase the awkward stage, we may be depriving kids of a necessary part of development: a precious pocket of time, where they are free to clumsily construct their identities without fear of judgment or ostracization. 

Mid-last year, though, a positive shift occurred. K-pop Demon Hunters dropped on Netflix to commercial acclaim, capturing the hearts of millions of those in the in-between. Polygon’s Claire Lewis says that HUNTR/X’s members are an “edgier-looking” version of Frozen’s Elsa and Anna singing about struggles tweens can relate to, such as being the problem child or experiencing physical changes.

Maybe we could keep the ball rolling by positively influencing the tweens in our lives and introducing them to what we grew up with. (TikToks of young girls’ first encounters with High School Musical or Justin Bieber prove that our favorites are pretty timeless.) 

Magpantay also recommends “[establishing] resilience and well-being among tweens by maintaining routines and safe spaces for exploration. This could mean encouraging physical activity, and even sleep and mindfulness.” Personally, I’ve benefitted from having hobbies, interests, and communities outside of the internet. Though I did grow up exposed to places like Twitter (now X) and Tumblr, I also enjoyed writing, playing the guitar, and doing arts and crafts—activities made for molding young minds. 

I’d also like to suggest changing the language we use to describe this era in our lives, and being more compassionate towards our younger selves. It’s a way of being a good example, too. “As tweens navigate independence, identity, and social belonging, adults can serve as anchors and role models by demonstrating behaviors and values, rather than just giving advice,” says Magpantay.

Sometimes, I find myself wondering how life would have played out for me if I had grown up conventionally attractive or had matured faster than most of those my age. 

But then I remember that unfamiliarity with the costs and demands of beauty culture is an innocence I will never get back. Children should never be overly concerned or absorbed with the way they look—all they have to care about is getting through school, having fun with their girlfriends, and figuring out who they are.

I think about young Angel, in the photo I mentioned at the beginning of this piece. She had just won a speech choir contest and was so excited to see her friends that she couldn’t be bothered to run a brush through her hair. She was so unabashedly cringe—but only by today’s unforgivable standards and definitions. And for that, she was free.

Generations by Angel Martinez appears weekly at PhilSTAR L!fe.