Issa Pressman details mental health struggle caused by cyberbullying: 'I started hating myself too"
Trigger warning: This article contains mentions of self-harm and suicide.
In her first sit-down interview, actress Issa Pressman detailed to broadcast journalist Karen Davila how the online hatred she received years ago pushed her to harm herself.
It was the sudden death of Emman Atienza, TV host Kim Atienza's youngest daughter, on Oct. 22, that pushed Pressman to do the interview, she told Davila.
"When I found out about Emman's case, I was so sad... I know where she was... And it hurts me to know that bashers, strangers, people from afar took that light away from her, which is not right," said Pressman.
"Me speaking up right now, I know it might attract more noise. It's gonna call on more of the Jadine bashers to give more judgment, to criticize me more. But then, I'm here so that if I can save one more life doing this video, even if it risks more hate for me, then I'm here to do it," she continued.
Abuses in show business
Pressman was a young girl when she, along with her parents and older sister Yassi, moved to the Philippines. With her father being "too old to work," it fell upon her, her sister, and their mother to support the family.
At six years old, Pressman joined showbiz, where she experienced abuse.
"There was an audition where they asked me to remove my top. I was six years old," recalled Pressman. "I didn't tell my dad. I just thought it was normal. I didn't know what that meant, but I remember how it felt."
Another time, she said she was hit on set "so that they [could] get the reaction that they [wanted]."
The third incident of abuse happened while Issa was shooting a rape scene. She was told that the cameras would cut once the "rapist" went on top of her.
"They just told me, 'Basta lumaban ka lang'. And then they didn't call cut. So I was screaming, somehow medyo totoo na...I was really shouting, feeling the saliva in the lips of the man on my neck," Pressman recalled.
For another project, the director told her the role called for her to run without clothes. When Pressman refused, "the director called me in, and then sabi, 'Kung nasa teritoryo kita, walang ibang masusunod kung hindi ako. Wala kang mararating sa ugali mong 'yan,'" she said.
She packed her bags and left.
Jadine hate
Pressman went through her first cyberbullying experience when she came out as bisexual. Her father's full support for her happiness when she came out to him emboldened her to officially come out.
"I got so much hate. Brutal sexual stuff. [Messages that said] 'You're gonna burn in hell,'" the 28-year-old actress said.
The next wave of online hate came when Issa started getting close to actor-musician James Reid before the pandemic. In early 2020, Reid and his then-girlfriend, actress Nadine Lustre—who, together, were known to their fiercely loyal fanbase as "Jadine"—broke up. And rumors spread that Pressman was the third party that caused the breakup.
Despite all three denying the rumors, the online hate for Pressman persisted, at least until the lockdowns began and interrupted all the unimportant things.
Three years later, Pressman signed up with Reid's record label Careless, and their relationship, which until then had been just based on friendship, grew deeper.
Before the couple came out in public, Pressman messaged Lustre out of respect.
"I was like, 'We started dating. I really wanna see where this is gonna go,'" Pressman said. "She was so kind and said... 'That's been a lifetime ago, but I appreciate you telling me. I wish you guys the best of luck.'"
With things cleared up, the couple attended a Harry Styles concert together.
Their first public date resurrected all the accusations hurled at Pressman in 2020. She received all sorts of hate messages on multiple platforms.
They also stalked her locations on social media, sent her the address where she was, and wrote messages such as, "'Mag-ingat ka, tatapunan ko ng acid 'yung mukha mo,'" said Pressman. They approached her in the street to take her video while flipping her off in her face.
The intensity of the messages cost Pressman endorsements and job contracts.
"Everywhere was not safe for me," she said.
Mental health struggles
Pressman's depression started with her inability to sleep. For a year, she couldn't sleep, she said. Pressman lashed out, shook whenever she had to go out, started taking sleeping pills and anti-depressants.
"The worst thing: I started believing na lang all their accusations... that I was hated, worth nothing... I started hating myself, too," she said. "What's the use of living in a world like this if it's full of hate? That was when I gave up."
Pressman left her home without telling her sister, Yassi, or Reid.
"Was that when you tried to hurt yourself?" asked Davila.
"Yes," Pressman replied.
She woke up the next day, though, "and I felt like, baka this is not yet my time. God is telling me not yet," she said.
It was Reid whom she credits for teaching her to love herself again.
"Even if I felt like nothing, I had James to help me...He still saw the whole world in me, which made me want to fight," Pressman said, adding that she tried multiple times to leave him because of her struggles, but he never gave up on her.
"I'm thankful for the bashers, the Jadine haters. I'm thankful that you guys pushed me to the edge, that I saw that there was nothing farther to travel outwards, that I was forced to travel inwards," she continued, adding that she had already forgiven her bashers.
It was this new perspective that gave Pressman the confidence to be interviewed, which she saw as an opportunity to inspire.
"Nakakamatay ang cyberbullying," she said.
Reid joined the interview toward the end and said of Pressman, "I'm just so happy that everyone gets to hear the truth that I've heard for so long and everyone gets to see how beautiful of a person Issa is that I've seen all along," he said.
If you or someone you know exhibits suicidal behavior, has suicidal thoughts, or is in a state of emotional distress, help is available. Contact National Center for Mental Health Crisis Hotline through the following numbers:
For Luzon-wide landline toll-free: 1553
For GLOBE/TM subscribers: 0966-351-4518 or 0917-899-8727
For SMART/SUN/TNT subscribers: 0908-639-2672