What's the best way to ask for a raise without making it awkward?

When to raise the topic

Yu Ming Chin, executive director of human capital consulting company Viventis Search Asia, said an annual performance appraisal is one of the most common opportunities for employees to negotiate a salary increase. 

However, there are also situations outside the usual appraisal cycle when asking for higher pay may be warranted.

"One is when an employee feels that they are really critically underpaid compared to their peers in the industry," he said.

"Second is when an employee has been poached and has received a very attractive and juicy offer [from another company]. And therefore, he can present that situation [as] an argument for retention or an increase," he added.

On the other hand, Jonane Quiambao, a human resources business partner and content creator behind HR Rant with Nae on TikTok, believed that employees don’t have to wait for their annual performance review to ask whether they can get a raise, especially if their responsibilities have grown beyond their original role.

"Before asking, prepare concrete examples of your contributions, achievements, and added responsibilities. It also helps to research the market rate for your position so you have a reasonable basis for your request," she advised.

For self-employed professionals, freelance writer Kara Santos of Travel Up believed that it’s time to ask for a raise when you routinely spend more to complete a writing assignment than what you get paid.

"If you start feeling resentful towards working with certain clients and projects and feel undervalued and underappreciated, you know it’s time to raise your rates or to move on," she said.

Best way to ask for a raise

You may be hesitant to ask for a bigger salary as you're afraid to sound too entitled, but Quiambao assured that asking for a raise is a normal part of career growth.

"It’s about knowing your value and communicating it professionally. Focus on your contributions, performance, and the value you bring to the business rather than personal expenses or comparing your salary with others," she said.

"Compensation should be a professional conversation, and employees shouldn’t feel guilty for advocating for themselves," she continued.

Chin likewise emphasized that employees should have a clear and objective reason for requesting a salary increase, with expectations grounded in what is reasonable for both the employee and the company.

"They must have the right reason to ask for it, and it should be objective. You cannot ask for the moon and beyond the means of the company," he said.

He noted that employees can raise concerns about the cost of living and inflation. "I think people have the right to ask, 'What about the cost of living? What about the impact of inflation?' As long as you go back to the basics—it should be reasonable, objective—I think it's fair to ask."

They should also approach the discussion with confidence, backed by a clear understanding of why their contributions and circumstances warrant better compensation.

Noreen Latagan, founder of leadership training organization Training for Less, advised employees to "treat the discussion as a negotiation, not a confrontation."

"Many people find salary negotiations uncomfortable because they become emotionally invested in getting an immediate 'yes.' When the response is different from what they expected, disappointment can turn into defensiveness or conflict," she said.

According to her, employees should be assertive enough to communicate what they want without demanding that their employer agree. She compared the process to consultative selling, where the goal is to help the other party understand the value being offered rather than pressure them into a decision.

"The same principle applies when requesting a salary increase. Present your contributions objectively, explain why you believe an adjustment is appropriate, and listen to the employer's position," she said.

To help you start the conversation, she suggested saying: "I would like to discuss my current compensation in relation to my responsibilities and contributions. May we review whether an adjustment would be appropriate?"

She also advised avoiding threats, ultimatums, or comparisons intended to make their employer feel guilty, while reminding them not to apologize for raising a legitimate concern.

"The employer also has a responsibility to listen and respond professionally," Latagan said. "The goal is not to eliminate disagreement. It is to keep disagreement from becoming personal."

Things can be a bit trickier for freelancers, especially if you're being paid for output-based assignments.

In her line of work, Santos admitted that with the increasing costs of transportation and inflation eating into income, some assignments are just not worth covering. 

"For one-time assignments (ex. event coverage), you could start by asking if transportation costs will be covered or provided on top of the regular fee related to the assigned work before accepting it," she suggested.

"If you’ve been working with a client for a while and have a good working relationship with them, be professional about it. Write a notification email thanking them for the assignments and inform them that you need to increase your rates due to rising operational costs," she added.

It's important to be polite and confident, as well as to "provide clear figures and advance notice for the rate increase."

What if you get rejected?

Being turned down after asking for a raise can be discouraging. However, a rejection doesn't necessarily mean the conversation has to end there.

"Ask for clear feedback on why the request was denied and what you need to achieve to be considered for a raise in the future. If budget is the concern, ask when the conversation can be revisited," Quiambao said.

"However, if your responsibilities continue to grow and there’s no clear path for salary progression, it may be time to explore other opportunities. Employees should consider not just their loyalty to a company, but also their own career and financial growth," she added.

Chin echoed the importance of keeping the conversation open, stressing that an initial rejection does not necessarily mean an employer will never agree to a salary increase.

"An initial no doesn't mean a permanent no. So you need to ask why and then negotiate the term. If it's not achievable now, when?" he said.

Latagan likewise highlighted that it's not the end of the road, as you can still learn from the experience and determine what to do next.

"Many employees interpret rejection as defeat. But negotiation does not always have to produce an immediate agreement to create a worthwhile outcome," she stressed.

"When you communicate your request professionally, you have made your expectations known. Your employer may begin examining your contributions more closely or considering whether an adjustment is possible in the future. However, that is an opportunity, not a guarantee," she continued.

While it's important to acknowledge the disappointment that comes with rejection, you shouldn't allow it to compromise your professionalism or the quality of your work.

"Continue fulfilling your responsibilities professionally, but do not confuse patience with waiting indefinitely. If there is no realistic path toward your compensation goals, you also have the responsibility to evaluate your career options," Latagan said.

"A 'no' is not necessarily the end of the negotiation. But it should help you make a more informed decision about what comes next," she added.

For freelancers who feel like it’s too soon to ask for a raise outright or feel like a client may push back, Santos advised framing the request in a way that provides additional value to the company.

"If it’s a high-value client, ask if they would consider accepting article pitches on a more regular basis or considering you on a retainer basis," she said.

Another way is to negotiate and adjust the deliverables, hours, or frequency of assignments to match the rate you are currently getting.

"If a client refuses to be flexible or their budget constraints do not reflect your market value, thank them for the time you worked together and say that you are open to working with them in the future," Santos said.

"Focus your time and energy instead on finding clients who respect your rates or are easier to work with," she underscored.