Why you should consider living abroad in your 20s
Every week, PhilSTAR L!fe explores issues and topics from the perspectives of different age groups, encouraging healthy but meaningful conversations on why they matter. This is Generations.
The first time I ever left the Philippines was to move to Spain, where I ended up living for almost two years.
I was 23, and before that, the farthest I’d ever been from Metro Manila was Siquijor. I had never imagined myself settling abroad. But two years before I packed my bags, I fell in love with learning Spanish, and somewhere along the way, I decided I wanted to experience life in Spain for myself.
Getting to that point was far from easy. The entire process took nearly a year, filled with paperwork, waiting, uncertainty, and more than a few moments of self-doubt. Even before everything became official, I spoke about the move as if everything was set in stone—I had to believe in it long before I had proof that it would work out.
After so much time, effort, research, money, and guts, it finally happened.
In The Summer I Turned Pretty, Belly (played by Lola Tung) moved to Paris for a while at 21. In a few episodes, we watched her figure life out in a country where she barely spoke the language, lived with roommates, worked numerous odd jobs while attending online classes, made friends from other cultures, dated a foreign boy, got a drastic haircut, and experienced homesickness—all for the plot.
My experience living abroad between the ages of 23 and 25 wasn’t far off, but I also refuse to romanticize it the way Hollywood often does. I know that moving away from home is a privilege, and despite all the challenges that came with it, I’m grateful I took the leap.
If the chance to do the same arises, I hope you don't let fear stop you. It won't always be glamorous, and it certainly won’t be easy, but it just might change you in ways you never expected.
Owning your independence
Moving away teaches you financial independence and taps into your diskarte. You'll be confronted by bills and unexpected expenses. There will be moments when you’re frustrated that there isn’t much left for savings, but you’ll eventually find your rhythm. Along the way, you’ll also learn how to budget for the things that make life enjoyable, whether that’s traveling for a few days or making your living space feel like home.
My first apartment was in a small town in Sevilla. It was a decent one-bedroom, except the windows faced the hallway, so I barely got any natural light. My landlord was in his 70s and knew only two English words: “Hello” and “Okay.” Looking back, though, my favorite part of that apartment wasn’t the layout or the location—it was the obnoxiously green couch and the feeling that anything was possible.
Finding your community
It can be daunting to make friends in a different country, but people may surprise you. Despite language barriers and busy schedules, it's possible to build a community of your own. There will be moments when you feel alone, but when it matters most, you'll go through it with people who are willing to help as you learn their culture along the way.
If you're moving to a country where people don't primarily speak English, go to language exchange meetups—this will help you practice the language and get to know others. Be open to events like trivia nights, movie marathons, and bar crawls. There are also Facebook groups like Girl Gone International in some cities that plan events with other people of the same interest. It may take time until you have people you can count on, but as the saying goes, “If you want a village, you have to be a villager first.”
But at the same time, stay vigilant. Meet in public places, trust your instincts, and be mindful of scams or situations that feel unsafe.
Learning to let go
Over time, I lost some friends when I became firm about my non-negotiables—it happens to the best of us. Young adulthood is a constant series of adjustments, just like in relationships. I had to be honest with myself about the things I valued and remember that I was allowed to change my mind as many times as I needed until I built the life I truly want.
Letting go isn't always easy, but by doing so, you could make room for the relationships and things you genuinely want to hold on to.
Getting to know yourself deeper
In my second year, I moved to a new city, Zaragoza. It was easier to navigate—I learned to live a little and even got a roommate, though I had to keep working hard to survive. The quality of life in other aspects, like transportation and the occasional tapas crawls, made it better.
But when you're away from home and your country, otherwise known as your comfort zone, you could figure out what you truly want from life in all aspects: friendships, romantic relationships, career, and lifestyle preferences.
I loved living in Europe and getting to explore countries I had only dreamed of visiting, but eventually, I also realized that I wasn't keen on dealing with instances of racism and visa-induced anxiety. Professionally, I also came to terms with the fact that while I liked my job, I wasn't making the most of the degree I had worked so hard to earn, nor was I passionate enough about the work to see myself doing it forever.
Learning to live in the present
Every time I felt overwhelmed, I learned to ground myself in the present moment. In doing so, I managed to make the most out of my two years abroad.
As the adage goes, "The past is gone, and the future hasn’t happened yet." The present is all you have. If you stay stuck on either, you will not appreciate the life you are currently building.
One day, I just knew it was time to come home. I realized that settling abroad wasn't the future I wanted for myself, and that was okay. After all, living abroad didn't have to become a lifelong commitment for it to be worthwhile.
The entire experience challenged me in ways nothing else could, and it gave me room to make mistakes, get back up, and start over. Looking back, I love the person I've become because I chose to take that risk.
Generations appears weekly at PhilSTAR L!fe.