EXPLAINER: Is your boss being toxic or are you just not used to criticism?
Is your boss strict about your outputs, or do they just want their workers to strive for more than just the "bare minimum"?
Corporate training company Training for Less posed this topic on Facebook, noting that many bosses are often misunderstood for being toxic when they're simply trying to follow through industry standards.
"Madalas hindi naman oppressive ang boss—standards lang talaga ang issue. Sanay kasi ang iba sa 'pwede na.' Sanay sa bare minimum. Sanay sa trabaho na walang expectation," they said.
"Kaya kapag may leader na naglagay ng linya, nag-set ng quality, naglagay ng direction, ang tingin agad: 'toxic.' Pero sa totoong buhay? Standards protect the work, and standards shape the worker," they added.
PhilSTAR L!fe spoke with managers and employees to get a clearer picture of how these perceptions play out in real workplaces.
When high standards feel overwhelming
Raphael, who is a farm worker, shared how he often finds it challenging when his bosses set higher standards, as he struggles with how he is going to meet them.
"Because it will be myself whom I have to overcome to perform what I am expected to do. As time goes by, there will be changes in work settings, in which I have to adapt," he said.
"Being expected to do a lot, more than what my position entails, is too overwhelming. It burns me out, sometimes leading to frustrations [with] colleagues and affecting how I perform at work, as well as finishing my tasks," he added.
For him, a toxic boss is someone who is "too self-centered" and "does not know how to listen to his inferior."
Angela, who works as a college instructor, also has had some experience dealing with difficult supervisors.
"'Yung former head ko, mahilig magdagdag ng gawain. Wala akong magawa kung hindi sumunod kasi matampuhin 'yun so gagantihan ka," she said.
"Siguro kasi nakikita niya na as much as I can, hindi talaga ako tumatanggi. So marami siyang binibigay na extra tasks sa akin before. So ang challenging sa akin doon, kailangan ko ma-accomplish 'yung mga pinapagawa niya or else ma-di-disappoint siya sa'yo," she added.
Differentiating toxic and constructive leadership
Jonane Quiambao, a human resources business partner and content creator behind HR Rant with Nae on TikTok, told L!fe that the line between a boss who is simply enforcing standards and one who is toxic is simple to distinguish.
"Enforcing standards focuses on the work, while toxicity targets the person. A good boss corrects the output, the behavior, or the process, and the intention is to guide. A toxic boss makes comments that attack your character, your personality, or your worth," she said.
She underscored how standards are "meant to push you to grow" while toxicity "drains you and makes you anxious."
Fellow HR manager Jeremiah Yalung Rafanan, meanwhile, shared that a fair boss is one who "communicates expectations clearly and applies them uniformly," whereas a toxic boss "often uses pressure, fear, or belittling to control people."
"The key difference is in the approach. One builds accountability, the other creates fear and emotional distress. Standards can be firm, but how they’re implemented and how feedback is delivered makes all the difference," he said.
To better communicate standards so they don't come across as oppressive, Quiambao advised that managers should pay attention to clarity and tone.
"Managers need to explain what is expected, why it matters, and how the performance will be measured. It can’t be vague instructions or ‘bahala ka diyan,’ she said.
According to her, standards only feel oppressive when they’re delivered with ego, sarcasm, or frustration.
"Remove the attitude, keep the expectations. Communication should be firm but respectful. The goal is alignment, not intimidation," she said.
Rafanan, on the other hand, highlighted that transparency and empathy should also be considered.
"Managers should explain the 'why' behind the standard, not just what needs to be done but how it contributes to the team or company goals," he said.
"Standards should be paired with support, not pressure. Managers should be open to feedback and create a safe space where employees can raise concerns or ask for clarification," he continued.
How to help employees navigate standards
While employees should also take responsibility for their own performance, managers must become proper pillars of support during times when workers feel overwhelmed by new expectations
"First, acknowledge the feeling. Even the best employees get overwhelmed by change," Quiambao stressed.
She added, "Then give them structure: regular check-ins, coaching, follow-through, examples of what good performance looks like, and realistic timelines."
She emphasized how it's unrealistic for someone to master new expectations instantly as "growth requires guidance."
It's also equally important to build a culture where feedback and standards are seen as normal and healthy, and Rafanan said that organizations can achieve this by normalizing feedback as a tool for growth, not criticism.
"Orientation and training should include communication culture, emotional intelligence, and feedback best practices," he said.
"When people see that even leaders welcome feedback and hold themselves accountable, it encourages psychological safety. Consistency, trust, and empathy are key to making standards feel like guidance, not punishment," he added.