Is it trauma? How to know if it's just a bad day or an old wound

As times change, so does society’s openness to mental health issues. Some terms that often get thrown around without much thought put into them are "trauma" and "depression." 

Trauma was mostly used to describe severe events such as war, abuse, and other deeply distressing experiences. However, trauma therapist and neuroscience research fellow Gang Badoy Capati highlighted how the term can stem from a simple negative comment.

In the fourth episode of PhilSTAR L!fe's The Generations Podcast, Capati delved into the definition of trauma and how it extends beyond life-threatening incidents.

“People always think it's large things like war, murder, holdap—that's the traumatic event," she said.

"Trauma is a mark the incident left. Trauma is wound. It's not the event. And usually, it's characterized by helplessness. Hindi ka nakabawi, hindi ka nakasagot, wala kang choice. That's why a lot of our traumas are when we were children because we had no resources, we were dependent, and so we were quite helpless," she added.

In the podcast, Capati recalled an incident where she had a heated argument with someone she had worked with.

"He raised his voice and I screamed right back. Normally, that would be 'It was so traumatic,' and then I realized, 'No, no, that was not traumatic kasi nakasigaw back ako. Nasagot ko siya. It will not leave a mark on me, kasi somehow pumalag ako. The number one characteristic is helplessness," she said.

She then cited a common scenario of an aunt making unsolicited comments about gaining weight during a family reunion.

"Dahil tita mo, 'di mo masagot. Helpless," Capati said. "So mukhang maliit lang 'yung fat comment, but this will leave the mark."

"It comes out sometimes in an eating disorder. You have dysmorphia. You always think you're fat. You avoid family reunions thinking that your whole family is evil, but actually, you're just avoiding that aunt," she continued.

For her, the problem stems from differences between generations.

"Sa kanyang generation, kapag sinabing 'Ang lusog mo,' [ang ibig sabihin nun] yumaman kayo, nagsurvive kayo ng war, prosperous kayo. For them, hindi attractive 'yung super niwang. In Tagalog, payat. But for other people, it's a compliment," she said.

"But when your tita says, 'Oh tumataba ka,' it's more malevolent because she's actually smiling. Of course, some of them are really mean, some titas really mean to hurt you, so I won't discount that. But that is traumatic because hindi ka nakapalag and without you knowing it, you will take it until you're older and then you have habits that change," she continued.

A person might be experiencing trauma if they find themselves stuck in a harmful cycle, despite being aware that a change is needed, Capati said.

"We're not ruled by logic," she explained. "We have a set of governing rules why we do what we do, and some of it is caused by a wound that we don't even know where the wound is sometimes, we just have a habit."